Even if I was loyal and obedient and dedicated to god and his will, I am still in this position.
@ Tonus - I question your assumption here. Can you be always be loyal? Can you always be obedient? No, you can't. That is why God declares at the very beginning of the "age of grace" that "by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified". How many sins did Jesus die for? Answwer: All of them - past, present, and future.
The Christian life isn't about doing more. Quite the contrary; it is about abandoning the "will worship" behind your previous works and allowing your new spirit that you got at Salvation (at the emptying) to take over. It feels a little wobbly at first, but it is really you who is doing it. The new spirit is your down-payment on the full inheritance to come when your soul (mind) and body are glorified in perfection. In other words, It is "you", but you know that it is not from "you.
Since Calvary, humans have had a very dramatic display in how to permanently relate to God - "in spirit and in truth". No more obsessing over wondering if you did some law or religious requirement just right, or right enough.
When a person abandons the rights to himself and 'dies" to himself for Christ, he immediaetly becomes an adopted member of God's family, a legal heir to everything that God owns. It is a completely different way of relating to God.... a relation as with a family member, a kinsman redeemer, a father or a mother.
Ever see the instict of a mother kick in when protecting their young? It is something to behold, a force of nature way bigger than most of the indifference we experience in life. Yet, this is a miniscule picture of the loyalty that God has for his own:
"Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee"
The safest place in the universe is as a child of god, a member of his family.
