Would You Like Milk with That Cookie?

by teenyuck 80 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  dubla

  thought i would revisit this thread......

  bg said:

  To ME, this is what is "sick", "twisted", "wrong" and "child abuse". But to decry ususual behavior with such terms, without proof, only trivializes the experiences of others who have, indeed, been the victims of such depraved misconduct on the part of a parent.

  didnt the boy in this case originally claim to be forced into breastfeeding as well? just another side point that hasnt been addressed.

  and no one really responded to my last point, which was that the woman thinks its completely normal to breastfeed until the child is "maybe" a teenager (the maybe indicating possibly into the teens?). so, simple question for the supporters on this thread: at what age would you find this "sick", "twisted", "repulsive", or worthy of an "eeewwww"? 10? 12? 15? is there a line?

  aa

  Edited by - dubla on 5 November 2002 13:8:12

  Edited by - dubla on 5 November 2002 13:9:25
• 

  detective

  I think the problem lies with mamacita on this one.
  
  According to the article:
  *mom doesn't think she is even lactating anymore.
  *the article suggested that the child allegedly told the babysitter that his momma wouldn't let him give up breast feeding.
  *Also, there was suggestion that the child felt embarassed by the revelation that he was still breast feeding.

  So, nutritional benefits seem to be a non-issue here. That leaves us with bonding and comforting issues. If he's expressing "shame" or "embarassment" then he's already aware that his situation is unusual. That should be Mom's first clue that he's more than ready for her to do the unthinkable- and say "no". She could just as easily offer another form of comfort, like hand-holding or hugging, that would be a good alternative to suckling. OR, she could offer him a pacifier. Now, some might argue he's too old to be offered a pacifier...hmmm?

  I think Mom has a responsibility to provide age-appropriate coping mechanisms to her eight year old son. Suckling mom's breast while, say, going to the mall, is just not a viable option for an eight year old. If she's unclear on this, then perhaps she should offer her breast to him while at the mall. Or as she drops him off for school. If either one of them feel uncomfortable with the idea of that...then that should be something of a red flag!
  Since, societally, suckling isn't an acceptable option for a pre-teen, mom might do to redirect her child to more constructive ways of comforting himself. I think she's doing her child no favors here by prolonging this breast feeding issue. It's not age appropriate, it's not nutritionally beneficial (since she admits she doesn't even know if she's producing milk), and it's not engendering the independence that her child will eventually need. I don't really understand why a mother wouldn't want to do her best to help her child along towards a healthy adulthood by encouraging him to move away from a habit that will undoubtedly bring ridicule and pain by his fellow pre-teens? Although, I still maintain that based on that article, it sounds as if this kid was ready to do away with the habit quite awhile ago.
  The question is, in my opinion, is mom really assisting her child in his development or is she hindering his ability to develop independence? This thread has touched on mom's sexuality but hasn't even begun to touch on her son's sexuality. And yes, even at eight years old, he's probably already experienced sexually-oriented thoughts or feelings though they may not take the shape and form of an adults sexually oriented thoughts/feelings. His developing independence, self-esteem and yes- sexuality, are not really being addressed realistically by Mom- at least, that's my take on things.

  What this situation says to me about mom ("women who love too much"?) is that she's got issues.
• 

  dubla

  funny, no answer.

  aa
• 

  BeautifulGarbage

  The reason there is no answer is because I haven't been on the computer, Dubla. Been busy with husband, and my kids. Since my primary obligation is the care of my family, I have not been able to respond to this thread.

  That ok with you, Love?

  You are assuming I have no answer by my silence.

  First off, I have never stated my PERSONAL opinion regarding this specific matter. I have never once said I supported this Mother and her actions. I only requested evidence that breastfeeding an 8 year old is damaging. There is none. I responded to all of the speculations. Anyway,my posts have been broader in scope and I have attempted to put a spotlight on the underlying belief system that has been specifically ingrained in each and every one of us. Some question it, some don't. Some have a knee-jerk reaction without thought, and some don't.

  You want a specific answer about what is the appropriate age to stop breast feeding. You want me to declare an age when breastfeeding is "sick" "twisted" and "wrong". You want a line. I will let you draw that line because you seem to feel so strongly about this matter. For me it will always be the reasons and motivations behind the actions of the Mom. Regardless of the kid is 8 months, or 8 years.

  Would the reactions on this thread been any different if the child had been a girl? Would the "the kid is old enough to be sexually aroused and have sexual thoughts" been an outcry? Or would people be even more offended? Afraid the kid might be "lesbianized"? (rhetorical)

  Throughout this whole thread I have not personally defended this mother. I have been merely trying nudge people just a little to think outside their respective boxes.

  It's been fun, but I'm done with this thread.

  Cheers!

  Andee

  Edited by - BeautifulGarbage on 6 November 2002 21:20:14
• 

  amac

  This ladies actions may not be up to snuff with modern ethics, but it certainly isn't as bad as the idiots who put this child in foster care for 6 months. Which would be more damaging to a child? Breast-feeding to 8 by your own free will...or being seperated from your mother for 6 months? Forget this lady's crazy ideas, they should be writing an article on the the Illinois state's attorney's office and the Department of Children and Family Services.
• 

  SixofNine

  BG and amac, well said and well said.
• 

  teenyuck

  I have one more thing to write on this.

  I saw a friend who has a son. He is 6. His head is about her breast height.

  All of a sudden I pictured her opening her blouse and him starting to suck on her breast. The picture flashed before my eyes and I was grossed out. He is a reasoning, thinking person. He is old enough to get an erection, according to his mother.

  I in no way think that a girl should be sucking on a mother at the age of 8 anymore than a boy should. It has nothing to do with possible "lesbianism." It has to do with him/her not understanding that breasts have two purposes. 1. is for feeding a child...I'll go up to age 3, if you are destitute and have no food. 2. Sex and sexual fulfillment.

  Understanding that there is a sexual side to the organ is crucial.

  I asked a question on the thread about men lactating. Everyone who posted declined to answer the basic question: If a man can lactate, should he be allowed to let his 8 year old daughter suck his breast? Even if it is for comfort of the daughter? Why or why not? What if she "just likes doing it?" "It makes her happy." Comments please

  An 8 year old should get a teddy bear, a blanket, a thumb or a friend. Other than his mother. If his comfort need is to suck her breast, he will have emotional problems when he grows up.

  If anyone thinks a child will not have emotional problems, take out your breast and let your child suck. Then come back and tell us how it went. And be honest. And I don't mean a baby.

  edited to add:

  As far as foster care: The healthiest thing that could have happened to the child was getting him away from his mother. The point that seems to be missed is that the child started breast-feeding again when returned to his mother. He did not want to according to the article. WHY??!!

  Letting the child see how other families live might have been helpful. I am sorry for the child and wonder where the father is and why he has done nothing.

  Edited by - teenyuck on 6 November 2002 20:10:28
• 

  teenyuck

  Opps...double post

  Edited by - teenyuck on 6 November 2002 20:11:14
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  BeautifulGarbage

  He is old enough to get an erection, according to his mother.

  Well, I just wanted to clarify something. I swear, THIS TIME I'm really done.

  It is not unusual for infant boys to get erections.

  Andee
• 

  dubla

  bg-

  The reason there is no answer is because I haven't been on the computer, Dubla. Been busy with husband, and my kids. Since my primary obligation is the care of my family, I have not been able to respond to this thread.

  That ok with you, Love?

  You are assuming I have no answer by my silence.

  sure, thats fine with me.....fact is, i wasnt even adressing you specifically. i said no answer, and i meant no answer by any of the "supporters" on this thread......guess what? youre not the only one. you are the only one who attempted a reply though, so kudos.

  You want a specific answer about what is the appropriate age to stop breast feeding. You want me to declare an age when breastfeeding is "sick" "twisted" and "wrong". You want a line. I will let you draw that line because you seem to feel so strongly about this matter.

  actually, it may seem that way, but i really dont feel that strongly about this matter. i do think its a bit absurd that some people think its perfectly normal, but hey, everyone has a right to their own opinion. the reason you, and the other "supporters", wont give a definitive answer, is that it would back you into the wall. admittedly, it was a baited question, but one worth asking. the fact is, you do have a line, in your own mind, as does six, and whoever else. 8 yrs. old just isnt your line......but there IS a line, for everyone, there has to be, where you would consider it "sick" and worthy of an "ewww". unless of course you think its okay for a 30 yr. old man to breastfeed for "comfort" once a week at his moms place. theres a line, you just refuse to specify it. fair enough, and my point is made.

  For me it will always be the reasons and motivations behind the actions of the Mom.

  yes, youve said that....which is why i pointed out that the child DID say the mother forced him to breastfeed. doesnt that imply a wrongful motivation behind the mothers actions? apparently you dont think so. again, fair enough.

  amac-

  Which would be more damaging to a child? Breast-feeding to 8 by your own free will...or being seperated from your mother for 6 months?

  you said "own free will", and ill again point out that the child claimed to be forced into breastfeeding.....hardly the childs own free will. im sure seperating the child from the mother had much more to do with that fact, than the age factor, but thats just speculation on my part. if i saw a mother forcing her 8 yr. old to breastfeed, id probably call it abuse too......just my opinion though once again.

  aa