What would I do?

by Jesus Christ 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • Jesus Christ
    Jesus Christ

    Hello my children.
    There have been some posts today debating what I might say in certain situations. To make things easy for all of you that may have questions for how I may react or respond to certain situations I thought I would just start a thread to answer all your questions.
    Ask any questions of me that you would like. I'm feeling chatty and am enjoying the world series (go Giants!) so I will continue to respond until I hit my limit.
    Dad bless you.

    Edited by - Jesus Christ on 23 October 2002 23:32:22

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Do you drink beer? If so, which is your favorite brand?

    SS

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    : Ask any questions of me that you would like.

    Are you always this arrogant, or is this just a recent thing?

    Farkel

  • Jesus Christ
    Jesus Christ

    Beer; no
    Vodka; yes; Smirnof

    Am I always this arrogant? Yes. Come on, I'm the savior of all mankind. One of the most popular holy books in the world is about me. I can walk on water. Jennifer Lopez calls my name out during sex. How can you not be arrogant in cases like that?

    Anybody else?

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Although Jesus Christ does not drink beer, there are many at Brooklyn WTS headquarters who ignore his example of abstinence. Their favorite brand of beer is " Bethel Lite".

  • terafera
    terafera

    Dear Lord, I have a question to ask you. I dont know how to put this...um....er....

    well.... when I'm alone at night, I find myself a little lonely and find my hands roaming in places they shouldnt. I try to stop, but after a few days, I go back to it again! Can you please tell me, is this really displeasing to you?

    signed, heart in the right place but hands in the wrong

  • LDH
    LDH

    As much as that bitch swaps men, it's a miracle she can remember *ANYBODY'S* name during sex.

    Lisa

    (PS--does she say "Hay-sus" or "Jee-zus?")

  • terafera
    terafera

    LOL@ LDH!!

    That is too funny... and too true!

  • Jesus Christ
    Jesus Christ

    Tera,
    You wouldn't have those urges unless we were giving them to you and your hands are most certainly in the right place. Pleasure yourself all you want without any feelings of guilt knowing that dad and I are getting off on watching you, many other women, and especially Jennifer Lopez (who screams out Jeeeezus), doing the deed to themselves. We used to really enjoy watching Shirley Manson (singer from Garbage) but since she went from a glamorous and stylish type red hed to short blond punk rocker she's just not that great anymore. One of the best concerts the guy who types this out for me ever went to was when he had floor seats right up front for a Smashing Pumpkins concert that Garbage was opening. Shirley Manson + short skirt that's right about eye level when she bends down + horny teenager = pissed off girlfriend. Oh yeah, Smashing Pumpkins were great too.

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    I love it when The Lord does concert reviews. Who will argue with The Lord?

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