Advice Needed - JW Grandparents

by What Now? 43 Replies latest jw experiences

  • mimimimi
    mimimimi

    My nephew and his wife have this same situation with their little boy and my sister, JW grandma and her husband who is an uber-elder. My nephew and his wife have repeatedly told my sister and her husband that their child is not to be taught Watchtower doctrine, but they continue at every opportunity to try to indoctrinate him. I think they have not been allowed to have him alone for a while now.

    I do agree with DesirousofChange, though. They will be exposed to all sorts of doctrines, ideas, what have you, over life and you could do exactly what Doc says, explain to them why you don't believe what Grandma and Grandpa believe. And, yes, Doc is right - tell them that as they grow older they need to make up their own minds about things, but that to do this best they need to seek out knowledge from many sources, not just one.

    Another thing I think about this is that you need to reach out in your life and get to know other people, maybe some parents of children in your children's age group so your children can make new friends too. Join some things where you can meet other people, maybe some family things. Don't keep yourself in the situation where your only support group is your JW relatives because it may eventually backfire on you when they decide to kick you to the curb for "Jehovah; I.e. Watchtower Society".

    Best wishes to you.

  • millie210
    millie210

    Isnt it approximately 2/3 of all born in JW kids leave the religion?

    And they are getting it ALL thrown at them 24 hours a day! I wouldnt worry that much of what is shared by your family will stick in any permanent way.

    In view of that, I would go with DOCs wise take on things.

  • What Now?
    What Now?

    Thank you all for your replies!

    Gulfcoaster – That is exactly my fear. However, I feel that by explicitly telling them that they are not allowed to discuss their god and religion, it would be essentially “disassociating” ourselves in their eyes. I have a feeling that my husbands father, who is an elder, and my mother who is also very devout, would report us as apostates.

    The Listener – I sympathize with your situation. I am very lucky in that at least my husband and I are on the same page.

    Wisdomfrombelow – We no longer leave our children alone with their aunts or grandparents. We see them regularly, but my husband and I are always with them. After the incident with my sister while babysitting, we haven't asked her to watch them again.

  • What Now?
    What Now?

    DesirousOfChange – I understand where you’re coming from. My concern right now is that my children are both under 5 years old. They are young, and impressionable. They love their grandparents. My fear is that because their grandparents spoil them, give them whatever they want, are never angry with them and never tell them ‘no’ – they will listen to whatever they say.

    So what about when they tell my children that celebrating birthdays makes Jehovah angry? Or that Mommy and Daddy are going to die at Armageddon if they don’t go to the meeting? etc.

    It’s not their intent to just expose the kids to a variety of viewpoints. It’s to indoctrinate.

  • What Now?
    What Now?

    Crazyguy - We are trying very hard to give our children critical thinking skills. We say things like "this is what your Grandma believes about ____. What do you think?". Or "Your grandparents think a birthday is not a special day, they don't believe in celebrating it, giving presents, or having cake. What do YOU like to do on your birthday?".

    Cangie - We're trying! It's not easy!

  • millie210
    millie210

    For some reason I pictured your kids as older as in the grade school age.

    It is very difficult when they are that young.

    Is there anyone in the family who does the indoctrination "less"?

    Could they spend a little time with that person and less time with the ones who do it "more" until they get a little bigger?

  • What Now?
    What Now?

    My other concern is that one day our families WILL actually shun us.

    What if the governing body says "well if you've reached out to your inactive family and they haven't responded, they're disassociating themselves by their inaction, so you should treat them as such"?

    How would I ever explain that to my children?

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    JWs will always be JWs,1st..

    What is "Good For The Family" will be way down on their list of priorities..

    Most of the time it`s not even on the list..

    .

    Given the opportunity..

    Grandma and Grandpa JW will "Screw Anyone Over" for the WBT$..

    Children,Grand Children.....It doesn`t matter..

    .

    .............God is going to Kill your Mom and Dad..

    ....Then You Can Live With Us In The "New System!"

    .............Image result for Grandparents

  • What Now?
    What Now?

    Millie210 - It's only our immediate family that are Witnesses - my parents, my siblings and my husbands parents. And they are all very devout. Every chance they get they're witnessing. I can't even nurse my youngest without my mother in law telling my son that "that's naturally how babies eat, that's how Jehovah created us".

    So I feel like we can't have a "normal" relationship - normal compared to what I see amongst others - sleepovers at the grandparents, grandparents as babysitters etc. Even to do a day trip to the zoo or something - they'd be all "look at Jehovah's creation, Jehovah made the animals, you can have your own lion in paradise!".

    When they're older it will be different. But yes, while they're so young now, it's very hard.

  • FayeDunaway
    FayeDunaway

    What an awful religion. :(

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