Ever read back your own posts and thinking WTF?

by DeWandelaar 27 Replies latest jw experiences

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  DeWandelaar

  As time goes forward people tend to change... expecially if you get out of a cult. Your brain for some reason gets de- and reprogrammed and you get other insights and new opinions. You become a other human.

  When reading back some of my previous posts (of about a year ago) I could not help but have a WTF-moment... I even felt a sudden way of "shame" of all the bullshit I was writing.

  If you want to read some of mine just check my posts of about a year back. So... did anyone of you had the same experience and if so... can you write it down here?
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  Phizzy

  It is interesting to read ones old posts, and see what the concerns and interests were, and how they compare now. In my journey out and away from the WT/JW Scam-cult I went from Bible believer, to simply theist, to non-theist.

  More importantly, I went from thinking I knew most everything to realising I knew next to nothing, and gradually my posts reflected this.

  I found it fascinating too to go back to the start of this Forum, and look at posts from those early days long before I was here. You can see the whole thing mature and grow.

  I hope all of us can see that in ourselves too, as we review what and who we were to where we are now.

  We should be maturing and growing as thinkers, and as compassionate people.
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  DeWandelaar

  One of the members of this board was on a pro-jw board just like me and even then we had some serious discussions (but in a JW-positive way). He had kept the mail and bumped into it ... it was actually very strange to read it back and sent it to me too hahaha :D
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  Found Sheep

  ya my first six months a was paranoid
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  DeWandelaar

  " please say something... this was hard for me to write!!!" ... I see what you mean, dear :D ... how are you feeling now?
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  humbled

  I sure think of the discussions I've had here and how I have changed. Iknow my sense of how the world and my own being may or may not be part of some purposeful and even loving continuum is much more open. I don't have to re-read to remember vividly certain turns I have made in my thinking that were prompted by discussions on this board.

  But experiences and readings and conversations off the board,too, have broadened and challenged me to be open. It has been frightening and also miserable to look at the horizen of life without the prospect of certain old slogans that I hoped were true (only the happy ones!) I don't think "WTF was I thinking?" because I can see why I went toward religious thinking as a sanctuary for faith. It was hard to hack a path away from that smooth cul-de-sac that the JW world led us down. That "narrow road" that I had believed would lead to life was certainly narrow but it certainly leads nowhere near the love and light it promised.

  But I as I understand myself - I understand my posts. I try to use the forum to do honest searching and to support others to do the same. At times I embarass myself with answers or comments I make. But they are often the ones that are the most honest. That said it is hard to look at oneself fairly, I think, XJW or not.

  Maeve
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  Black Man

  That's called GROWTH. Nothing to be embarrassed about.
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  Band on the Run

  I am sorry that I provided a platform for someone with strange ideas to preach to more people. Some people are just fated to be ignorant or ill. Arguing does not help. I know better for the next time I am triggered.
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  DATA-DOG

  LOL!!! I was crazy, and sometimes drinking.
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  Laika

  I've only been here 6 months and I do this now.