i agreee with you that your mom was out of control, but just trying to find a silver lining if possible, consider this.
the goal of the wt is to completely shutdown a jw from even speaking to their family who no longer want to be apart of the org.
while i can't imagine what it must have been like, AT LEAST AND I USE THIS PHRASE CAREFULLY "AT LEAST" SHE is still willing to speak to you, while not in anyway that a rational person would expect a mom to speak, but at least she has not moved into total shutdown mode
perhaps you may perfer that over what you went thru with her, but i truly believe that we many times have to reverse the tables on them
the only reason i am saying what i am about to say is that i know of some who have tried this with some measure of success.
will it work for you i don't know, but at least if you decide to try it - at this point there really is not much to lose.
I would call her and actually THANK HER for taking the time call you out of what she of course percieves as "Concern"-- i guess the point is trying to keep wt from completly shutting your line of communication down-
in fact that is why it is so important to the wt that they DF you or you DA yourself for the programming in them requires at that point that they shutdown
consider this if she was a dyed in the wool jw she would have turned you into the elders to be df for speaking against the org, but at least she has not done that cause it is clear she really doesn't agree 100% with that dogma, yet she is torn,
as has been mentioned I would never argue, like someone mentioned constantly reassure them of your love because WT has told them over and over for years THAT YOU DON'T LOVE THEM-
send her a card saying "I love you"
will it work i don't know, but i would never give my mom up to the Corp wishes of some clowns in ny who will when she is older kick her to the curb
YOU SEE YOU ALl Ready know that when she gets sick and older the congo will more than likely not take care of her.
just keep in mind that to her you are trying to take away "her shopping cart"
your mom is more confused than ever
here you are happy and content (as far as possible perhaps) and she can't understand it
and why well she has been told that she is part of the HAPPIEST folks on earth AND YOU ARE NOT
yet what does she see, you are "DOING FINE" IT GOES against everything that she has been trained to believe
when folks see me and my wife they expect us to be Separated and divorced, yet here were are with a big old grin on our face and waving at them as they Drag from door to door
"How in the hell can james and Lady "C" be happy , they don't go to any meetings or sell books like I am, and yet they are the ones grinning"
same with your mom - you have become nothing like she was told by wt that you would become since leaving, instead here you are peaceful
content and enjoying your weekends at lake and in your garden as it were, while she struggles to climb steps to sell books.
so i would suggest try to OVER KILL HER WITH LOVE and stay away from WT or WT issues, as they used to tell us CHANGE THE CONVERSTATION
WELL LETE US DO THAT TO THEM INSTEAD
the key in my exp is that WE CONTROL THE TEMPO and we cut it off when we want to-
we take away thier power- smile
consider YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE AND EVERYTHING TO GAIN- your MOM
and if she ever comes out she will tell the story that many of us often relate here:
"I can't believe that i beleved that stuff and treated my family that way"
JUST A SUGGESTION\
JAMES