My Crazy Mother!

by Ranchette 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ranchette
    Ranchette

    Here I thought I was going to get through the Memorial season in peace this year.
    How wrong I was!
    Was this supposed to be a Memorial invitation?

    Yesterday I got an unexpected phone call from my mom.
    I said hi and asked her how she was.
    She said “not very good.”

    I told her I was sorry to hear that and that I was concerned about her health problems and asked if she had had any tests done or gotten results.
    She said no that’s not why she wasn’t doing well.

    I could tell from the tone of her voice that this wasn’t going to be pretty.

    She told me that the reason she wasn’t doing well is because the Memorial was coming up,
    (That’s as far as she got before sobbing the rest) saying she just doesn’t understand how I can turn my back on the truth and be so unappreciative of the sacrifice that Christ Jesus made for us.

    She blubbered and spewed guilt trips till I stopped her and said “Mom I have tried over and over to help you understand where I’m at and why I feel the way I do and everytime you tell me to shut up.

    She gets mad and loud and shouts, “I’ve never told you to shut up!”

    Then I said, “okay maybe you haven’t said those words but you have said STOP DON”T SAY ANYMORE over and over again and those words have the same meaning and result”

    Then she goes into a rant about JWs and disfellowshipping and how it is scriptural and I should agree with it ….

    (I don’t know what the Hell that was all about because I’m not DF or Da.)

    I said “Mom I don’t want to argue Bible doctrine with you.”

    She then completely drops this and leaps a new subject.
    She says that the Catholic Church has stuff plastered all over the news about child abuse and the fact that the JW issue has not been exposed in the same way means we don’t have anything!
    She basically tells me we are lying about the extent of the problem with the JWs.

    I told her not to speak so fast, their day is coming.
    She kept pushing asking why it isn’t on national news yet and I told her that it has been in the news just not to the extent as the Catholics because the JWs are insignificant in the public in comparison.

    She said, “ That is not true!”

    I said “Mom I don’t know why you want to call up and get me and you both upset?”

    She said, “I’ll tell you why! Because of what you have done!”
    You have ruined my relationship with my parents!

    I told her that I have only been truthful with them.

    She starts screaming at me “you should have kept it to yourself!

    By this time she is completely out of control and will not allow me to say a word.
    Every time I tried to say something she would scream louder and faster.

    I got a picture in my head of a train running over me so I just hung up on her Psychotic a**!

    There was a time not so long ago that I would have felt obligated to be her captive audience so she could dish out all the abuse she wanted.

    I was more than patient with her and should have hung up on her sooner!

    Ranchette

  • Ranchette
    Ranchette

    I wanted to mention that what she is refering to with regards to her parents is that she has been shunning my husband and has told me more than once that her conscience wouldn't let her have close association with me.
    Niether of us are DF or DA.
    I am honest when my Grandparents ask questions.
    They know I quit a year ago and want to know how things are.
    They know all about JWs and are concerned.

    Mom pretends every thing is fine between us to protect WT image.
    They have her # and she is mad at me for it.

    Ranchette

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan

    Yikes! Makes me glad that I was the only person in my family stupid enought to become a dub.

    "Reports are heard of brothers selling their homes and property and planning to finish out the rest of their days in this old system in the pioneer service. Certainly this is a fine way to spend the short time remaining before the wicked world's end." - May 1974 Kingdom Ministry

  • Pierced Angel
    Pierced Angel

    What a good heading.
    How many of us are where we are today (having grown up in a cult) because of our "crazy mothers"?
    You were too kind and patient with her, but she is your mom. (((((((((((((Ranchette)))))))))))))))))))
    My mom started asking me if I wanted to go to the memorial with her. I dodged it by saying I wasn't thinking about it this year, being newly da'd and all, maybe next year. She got a very sad look on her face, but then she switched the conversation over to her other love, QVC, the home shopping channel.

    More than ever I see her as a crazy woman struggling to have some meaning in life. Thank God I left the jw's when I did or that might have been me someday.

  • think41self
    think41self

    Good for you Ranchette

    Nothing wrong with telling your grandparents the truth...and nothing wrong with refusing to be your mom's emotional hostage.

    You go girl.

    My mom doesn't get all psycho on me like that...we just agree to not discuss religion. Of course, in her mind then, that leaves us with nothing to talk about. I guess how her daughter and grandkids are doing in life isn't important, you know? Anyway, we're down to an obligatory twice a year call just to see if we're still alive I guess. I like it that way.

    think41self

    She had the vocabulary of a brothel owner specializing in service to sailors with Tourette's syndrome

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan

    Pierced Angel -

    What? How could you miss out on the opportunity to be a dishcloth attired old pioneer woman? Offering magazines on such interesting subjects as "Help for Arthritis Sufferers" and "What is Your View of Cleanliness?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • seedy3
    seedy3

    Hi all,

    My mom really never mentions anything to me about the Jdubs, but then again I am DF'd so I would not expect her to. But once in a while she does surt out a "I really wish you would come back", then drops it.

    Seedy

  • Ranchette
    Ranchette

    Now yall might understand why I dream of disfellowshipping as a good thing,a protection,a sort of armor from the whole bunch of them!

    My life is so happy and peaceful till she decides to disrupt the serenity.

    It helped to write this out.
    It has been rattling around in my brain for two days.

    Ranchette

  • COMF
    COMF

    Here's a statement you might want to consider. It has to be delivered calmly, with kindly intent:

    "I'm going to hang up now, mom. Call me when you can talk to me without yelling. I love you."

    Then hang up without waiting for a reply.

    COMF

  • Ranchette
    Ranchette

    Comf,
    That is a good suggestion but she was so out of control that I couldn't get a word in much less a sentence.

    I have thought about sending her a card reassuring her of my love and adding that I'm always happy to talk if it's in a reasonable rational way.

    Ranchette

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