My son was murdered today

by truman 322 Replies latest jw experiences

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  ZeusRocks

  My heart breaks for your loos and what you must be going through. I am so sorry this has happened to you and your family.
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  ZeusRocks

  your loss (not loos)
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  truman

  Thank you, friends, thank you so much for helping me to keep going. Tomorrow we will have the official viewing of the body at the funeral home. I must prepare myself again to see my son dead. It is such a fraught prospect. I want to see him and touch him one last time, but.....it makes me ache in the very core of my body to think about it. My younger son and his wife spent most of the afternoon and evening with us again today. I think we are all feeling the need to knit up family ties in a way that may have been too easy to treat casually before this happened. We picked out pictures of Glendon for a poster board to be displayed at the JW memorial he will have next Saturday. I have pictures of him as an infant just home from the hospital and pictures of him from only a few months ago at my home. I hold his entire lifespan in my hands, and it seems so rediculously absurd because he was so much more than what the eyes take in from these photographs.

  Momma-Tossed Me and Butterfly Leia, thanks for checking on me. It has been part of my lifeline to come back here and post something. I appreciate your caring and concern.

  FHN, I know the pain lessens with time as the shock wears off. Thank you for reminding me though, because it is easy to feel convinced that it never will when in its grip. I worry though, since that is a process that cuts both ways, as memory fades with time too. I know we cannot live in agony for long, but if the pain keeps the memories of him alive, I would willingly endure it.

  Botzwana, I do understand your despair at the loss of your father. I lost my mother when I was 18, when she had a cerebral hemorrhage at the age of 43. I guess my experience with her death is one reason I feel like I said above: time passes and the memories dim. I cannot conjure any image of my mother in my mind than the one that comes from a photograph on my wall. Now, I have lost a piece of my future in my son, along with the pieces of my past that I lost with the death of my mother. But as you say, you keep on living, and I must find a way to do that.

  Compound Complex, as a writer and a student of literature, I know well that tragedy in one's life can be transmuted through writing. The price this time seems way too high, however. I have already paid it though, so I hope I can eventually reach the place you describe.

  Moshe, I have seen all sorts of comments, including those such as you mention. People often speak out of ignorant bravado from behind the anonymity of a keyboard and a computer screen. But as heartbroken as I am about the absolutely unconscionable loss of my son Glendon, I recognize the confluence of macro-forces that some may see as contributing to this tragedy. These do not excuse individual behavior and the heinous act the shooter committed, but they might serve to alert us as a people that the evil done to my son Glendon and to Deputy Sheriff Paris may have roots that extend deeper than the insane delusions of a single individual armed to the teeth and desperate enough to do anything.

  Thank you all.
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  N.drew

  that is a process that cuts both ways, as memory fades with time too.

  When your mom died you were 18. The brain is not fully developed yet at 18. Now you are older. You have power to bring up memories of your son on your command when you feel better and stronger. Of course the more you remember the stronger the memories grow. They won't fade.
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  Black Sheep

  Thanks for keeping us up to date Truman.

  You have been in my thoughts all day. My heart goes out to you and your family.

  Chris
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  tornapart

  You are an amazing woman Truman, I've been thinking of you every day. I've sent you a pm.
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  chicken little

  Dear Truman,

  I wanted to write before but could not find my password, now I have I would like to send you my sincere condolences for the loss of your dear son. It was a truly ugly and meaningless way for him to have to die and I do not doubt that you have many conflicting emotions at the moment. I hope you will gain comfort from your family and friends and that your good memories will help you to keep him close in your mind and heart. We nearly lost our son in October from a IED in Afghanistan, we did not know if he would survive for some weeks. So although we still have him the feelings of loss and panic are still close to me so I truly feel for you.

  Much love and empathy

  Chicken little
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  FlyingHighNow

  Truman, your precious memories will always be with you. Time helps you conjure them up when you need them the most. There will be days you feel strong and can think deeply about things and cry some more. And there will be more times when you mention things and smile and laugh. But the incredible pain will lessen. The shock will go away. The shock that this could happen to your child. The shock that your child could leave before you do. And the shock that an eviction, in this shooter's mind, would warrant deadly force.

  I recommend asking for people to write down their memories of how your son touched their lives and have someone compile them in a book for you. Then have a book where you write down memories of your own, as they come to you.
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  UnConfused

  Truman, I'm so sorry, I can't imagine the heartbreak. As a parent I'll be thinking about you today.
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  Bangalore

  My condolences to you and your family.

  Bangalore