You may be a jw if.....

by just Ron 76 Replies latest social humour

  • Tater-T

    if you worry that buying something at garage sale or second hand store ... could bring DEMONS into your house... you might be a JW

  • NewChapter

    Half of your friends have fibromyalgia and the other half are hypoglycemic

    Whoa--you noticed that too?

  • mrbunyrabit

    Half of your friends have fibromyalgia and the other half are hypoglycemic

    Whoa--you noticed that too?

    .... No way... You toooooo?

  • just Ron
    just Ron

    If you take antidepressants like they were in a pez dispenser.


  • Disillusioned Lost-Lamb
    Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

    If you’re a woman who spent the better part of her only day off doing yard work alone at the kingdom hall when no one else would, then got counseled for it because you took the lead/initiative; you might be a JW.

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    If you say the words theocratic and organization a lot you just might be a JW.

    Think About It

  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.

    If you turn off Braveheart on TBS (even thou it is edited) because it WAS Rated R in the Movies!!!!!!

    You may be a jw

  • MrMonroe

    If you go out to dinner with work colleagues and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom when you think they're going to clink glasses ... you may be a JW.

    If you make yourself absent at work when a birthday card comes around for signing ... you may be a JW.

    If you fumble for an answer when a shop assistant asks you, "So, have you done all your Christmas shopping yet?" ... you may be a JW.

    If you get stuck in a furious thunderstorm and wonder if it's Armageddon ... you may be a JW.

    If you hear of a big earthquake and think, "another sign of the last days!!" ... you may be a JW

    If you "love" your "friends", yet despise them for their hypocrisy, judgmentalism and nosiness ... you may be a JW.

    If you feel guilty for sleeping in on a Sunday, or taking the family to the beach on a Saturday morning .... you may be a JW.

    If you say no to a charity collector because "only Jehovah can save the world's problems" ... you may be a JW.

    If you decide that maybe God is taking far too much of your time these days, and you don't see why you should have to write down a number of at least "two" each month to tell him how much you're doing for him ... you may be a JW.

  • C6H12O6

    you think smashing a chair on your child's back as love and proper discipline

    your love for your child depends on his or her "spiritual achievements"

    you get extemely disappointed at your child when he or she didn't comment during the meeting

    you celebrate your baptism day instead of your birthday

    you take your family to a printing factory as a vacation

  • just Ron
    just Ron

    If their is a special talk on how vacations should be spirital and not fun directed at you.

  • BluesBrother


    You plan a holiday in Dublin next Summer and carefully iron clean formal shirts and have a tie , to go sight-seeing in.

    ditto............................................................Pay over the odds to a classy hotel and think it a privilege

    If ....You carefully choose your music with your Watchtower in mind rather than the music

    If....You worry whether it is a sin to watch "Lord Of The Rings" or re runs of "The X Files"

    If ....You do not let your teens watch "Harry Potter"

    If ....You spend Monday and Tuesday planning what to say on "Family Study Night" on Thursday


  • angel.face

    you need someone to tell you - in great detail - how to wipe your backside....and you are always wondering if you are doing it right.

  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.

    angelface LOL....

    I remember someone telling the Ex that very thing!


    If you are embarrassed by your faith/doctrines/beliefs to the point that you hide it from others [even when doing field service initially]...then you might be a JW


  • shamus100

    You feel bad for driving a 2 door vehicle.

  • just Ron
    just Ron

    If you can't scripturally defend your beliefs on an apostate forum.

  • av8orntexas

    If you think asking a young lady/woman to work with you in service out with others is a GREAT way to get to know her .

    If you own more suits than some of the people in middle/upper management at your job.

    If you stand in line pay $9.50 for a movie ticket 13.50 for food and beverages,then proceed to walk out of a PG-rated Rush Hour because your friend was offended by the cursing in the first 30 minutes of the Movie - YEAH ! We showed them !. ( I actually waited for this movie to come out,stood in line with many others on opening night, and proceeded to walk out because my friends were 'disturbed' by the language. Mind you..we were all around 21-22,23 at the time. Of course I was pissed !

    You then proceed to ride home with those said friends and despite wasting $23, you feel good that you made a stand for Jehovah.

    You brag to others that you walked out of a movie after paying money for it. Like a badge of honor.

    If in your house- your parents think children shows such as Casper,Scooby Doo and the Smurfs were demonic. Same for most Disney movies.

    If your senior year, after four years of hard work your friends are applying to major Universities. After four years of pioneering ( school holidays included) you are applying to Bethel.

    If you draw stares of death when saying 'crap', 'pissed' or 'dang' as if you had just cursed.

    If you're out in service, you walk into McDonalds and a REALLY pretty girl writes her name and number,hands it to you and walks out the door telling you to call her. One of the brothers asks you "What are you going to do with it ?" while giving you a steely stare. You then proceed to rip it up and throw if away. This actually happened to me. Ahhhhh.Nothing like JW peer pressure to do what is RIGHT.

    As a brother in his teens, you think being given a key to the hall is SPECIAL.

    If you are daydreaming so much that you're late with the micrpohone to someone on your aisle.

    If a woman answers the door in service while working an apartment complex with nothing more than victoria secrets or fredricks of hollywood on. And you turn down the offer to come in and speak for a few mintues while working alone.

    If you base your work schedule around the meetings.

    If you KNOW you can't afford to,but ask for time off for meetings,assemblies,or conventions.

    If you use you vacation/sick time for meetings,assemblies,or conventions. Not for vacation or sickness.

    If you get up early,work 8-12 hours,rush home,skip dinner, and drive like hell to the meeting on a worknight. Then feel very proud of yourself for making the meeting despite being damn near comatose at that point.

    Oh man...the stuff I did. I could go on forever.......

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