I need support please

AwSnap

For the most part, I am able to understand how my family treats me. I was a jw for 20 years...since birth. I used to shun people. I turned my friends into the elders when they did wrong & my motivations were pure. And I used to treat our "worldly" family with respect, but always had it in the back of my mind that they were "worldly".

But I'm just going through a frustrated time right now! I am due to have a baby in a week, and my younger sister will not call or text or email! She's the only one in my family who's had a baby & who could've really shown support throughout this pregnancy. But she's chosen not to. It hurts so badly. But Im feeling really pissed off. Its just not right!

I ran into her a few days before my baby shower & she was very nice, gave me a hug, and even said she was planning on coming to the baby shower. But the day before, she called and said she screwed up & forgot that she & her husband (an MS now, but wants to be an elder & is a total douche) were going to Florida. I was so disappointed that she couldn't come. However, she made one of my nicest gifts: a homemade quilt. My older sister was at my shower, and had told me how much work it took our lil sis to get the quilt done. My younger sister made it because she loves me just as much as I love her.

But Im so angry that she keeps her daughter aways from me. And Im so angry that she has only texted me twice during the past 10 months. Im angry AHEAD OF TIME because I doubt she'll come to the hosptal when I go into labor.

I need advice: I feel like wrapping up the quilt she made and dropping it off at her front door, along with a note that says "We don't want this. You should be ashamed of yourself. Your behavior is disgusting."

Is that bad? I haven't done it yet because I figure I've just got crazy pregnancy hormones going on. But its just so wrong. Sooo sooo wrong

AGuest

Greetings, dear Awsnap... and peace to you!

Rack it up to hormones, dear one. Your sister at least made an attempt, which is more than many in her situation would do. Perhaps even you, too, at one time. She did the best she could... AND gave you the best gift, per your admission. Cherish it because there may be a time when you and she (or your children) can sit under it together. Be mad at those who have taught her... and enslaved her. But don't be mad at her: she tried.

Cry if you must. Yell, scream, stomp. But DON'T throw her gift back at her because if you do, YOU will be doing the "cutting off."

I hope this helps and, again, bid you peace!

YOUR servant and a slave of Christ,

SA

troubled mind

It is wrong for her to treat you this way ,but you know she is conflicted because of the Jehovah Witness mind-set . KEEP the QUILT !! It shows her 'real' personality and ,love for you and the baby ,shining through . I am sure she is miserable missing out on your pregnancy .

BTW you look radiant pregnant ! I watch everyday on facebook waiting for the big announcement of the arrival of your baby

Yes your hormones are wrecking havoc on your emotions right now ....it just comes with the whole wonders of mother hood package . You keep sending your sister updates and hopefully the power of a new baby will melt her JW boundries ,she has set ,down .

Be prepared ....from one mommy to another ....right after birth your emotions can swing more than you could ever imagined. Don't make any rash decisons during that time ,prepare your husband to be your sounding board and for him to be a rock for you .

Much love to you dear ,and waiting excitingly to hear for baby announcements .

Contact me on facebook if I can be a listening ear or for moral support ,Brenda J.

watersprout

Awww sweetheart it's your hormones... Have you thought that your BIL is laying the guilt on your sister. That it could be your BIL that is preventing your neice having a relationship with you??

Keep the quilt, cherish it... It was made with the love your sister has for you. Things may very well be different when the baby is born.

Good luck, I will be keeping everything crossed for you.

Peace

AwSnap

you made me wanna cry...in a good way. You're right. Im just having a hard time right now....I think my imagination gets the better of me. Knowing she will probably not show up to the baby's birth makes me even more sad than a lot of stuff from the past.

Thank you ladies. And TroubledMind, Im so glad you've been following...you like my latest profile pic? Im ready to pop that kid out NOW.

rebel8

I don't think you should return the quilt. It was a gift; you accepted it. That's in the past. You didn't accept it on the condition she text and see you at certain intervals, did you?

It hurts when relationships change, but it will be ok. All relationships change with time. Some become more distant, in and out of the Borg, simply because our lives and interests change. Sometimes it's because our affections change too. Human nature. Now a cult is influencing it too. Unjust and silly, but she's chosen her behavior. It's nothing personal. They do it to everyone.

You don't need love from people just because you share genes. I'm sure there are lots of people who love you?

Good luck.

nugget

It is a shame when Jw doctrine gets in the way of true family. If your sister made the quilt with her own hands it is something to truly treasure and cherish. Every time you wrap your baby in it she is with you. It is not the gift of an uncaring person.

Having a baby is one of those times where hormones and fear of the unknown unsettle us and make us more emotional than at other times. Do you have a birthing partner who will be with you in hospital? If you do focus on that rather than the what if. Your sisters actions, her hug and her special gift speak of her true affection for you, she is constrained by the cult to limit what she can do for now but who knows what the future holds for any of us.

Sayswho

Always do what’s loving and kind...this way you will have less things to regret. She did what would be considered a kind act…

Sw

sizemik

Hi Aw Snap . . . I hope the delivery goes well for you both.

The other posters have been pretty unanimous . . . and I will add my vote. Your sister has a real battle of her own I would guess, and your allowing for that, and appreciating the effort she does make, will only have a good effect on her view of JW world compared to true family bonds. All the best for coming days.

yknot

Yes this time should be about YOU......but she is afraid, afraid for you.

But alas you know more than her......maybe channel that anger into love bombing......document everything, send it to her with a short note saying how much you wished she was there, how you fear she will only see your child grow up in pictures.

I agree keep the quilt....... one day it may serve to bring yall together.

hour late huggles!

I need support please

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