Christopher, I am so sorry that you are going through all this pain right now. It's one of those things where you just have to take each day at a time. And find things that keep you busy and bring you peace. And I wish that for you. You just need to give yourself time. And no one or nothing is worth ending your life over. I have been in that state of mind, and I know that all may seem hopeless in the moment. But, in the morning there is a brand new day, for a new beginning.
Borg cubes will reach us in approximately 20 hours
by sd-7 45 Replies latest jw friends
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WuzLovesDubs
Chris...oh honey. You are in major pain. And I am going to recommend you talk to a professional about it ok? But having said that, please step back from your life for a minute and look at it. Reeeeallly look at it. It isnt you that is causing the pain. It isnt HER that is causing the pain...its the cult. Without their horrible influence on both of you, she wouldnt be having to do this, wouldnt feel INCLINED to do this to you. What does she think she is gaining?
Taking your life does nothing but let them win. You know they will only hold you in derision and ridicule you as spiritually weak and a whole list of other defaming things because you refused to play their game by their rules. If the only reason your wife stays with you is because you continue this facade of being a JW to keep HER around, then you will eventually be lost not only to her but yourself and will have gained nothing.
I think you need to cut that cult tie before it strangles you...before the lies you have to tell to survive kill you. If they wont DA you then write a letter and do it and get it over with. Dont wait for what amounts to "suicide by police" to release yourself of this bondage. The love of your life is not trying to save you...she is holding the knife to your neck and frankly, IMHO...that aint love thats control. If she ceases to love you after you are DAd then your relationship with her was a sham to begin with and was only conditional on you being a good little JW.
I could not live with that albatross on my back. That is not living, and living is the best revenge.
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purplesofa
thanks for sharing your song
purps
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Think About It
I'm seriously thinking about asking her to leave my home indefinitely. I say 'my home' because I alone pay the rent, the phone, the lights and well, just about everything else. It's my home because I paid for it.
SD-7....hey buddy, just going to throw my 2 cents into this.
Just try your best to work it out with your young wife & child and not let the thoughts and emotions of your JW situation get the best of you. You could actually be the one made to leave the home and then you would just have another problem to deal with.
I'm going to PM you my phone number. Call me anytime if you like. I am by no means a professional counselor, but I was a former JW elder and have helped many people over the years including non-JW's. I can give you good advise or just somebody to talk to without spouting scripture or WTS policy & retoric.
I'm curious is your Father is still around to advise you?
Think About It
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awildflower
Christopher, please just take a deep breath, really, really just step back and turn within right now. You have a lot of support here. I've been to a place where I just wanted to die as well and I can tell you, you will come out of it even if it doesn't seem like it, you absolutely will. I don't know your whole story but you don't have to talk to those "brothers" about anything and you don't have to do anything you don't want to. Nobody controls you. We are really going to be waiting to hear from you on Monday!......wf
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BurnTheShips
Borg cubes will reach us in approximately 20 hours
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Gayle
Christopher, I wish for you to go to the doctor because such things as you are going through can make us emotional drained and sick. I would wish for you not to go to the elders at all. If they insist to, in a way, harrass you, tell them to leave you alone. Tell them you're getting a lawyer for them not to harrass you any longer.
You have reason to live. Your child needs you. We need you. The WTS has damaged too many lives. You can rise up above all this, one day at a time. We, all, one by one, can stand, maybe individually but together too we can remain standing and prove that there is life, and a good life beyond JWs.
It's good you spoke out here as we care for you to find strength. Please contact us soon and regularly.
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In
I don't know what your pain feels like.
But I do know a letter of disassociation from you to the elder body gives them the excuse to leave you alone, and may buy you some peace of mind. And you do not have to go into detail.
Many have avoided disfellowshipping by simply refusing to meet with the elder body and moving congregations, although this may not be an option for you.
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OnTheWayOut
Tell them to slow down so you can write everything down. Ignore their protests. Tell them to show you some "Biblical" rule that you cannot write down everything. If they say they won't proceed unless you stop, write that down. Ignore their protests.
If you don't want to tell them anything, then don't. Personally, at the point you are at, I might tell them "From now on, you don't have permission to ask my wife any questions beyond 'How are you today.' If you want to speak to her, I must be informed that you want to speak to her and decide whether I am available to sit in." I would say that then just keep writing down what they say. When they ask me anything, "I am here to hear what you all have to say, not to volunteer any information."
It's tough. Power to you.
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FuzzyPaul
Christopher,
I PMed you. Pray, pray, pray. There are too few posts that talk the value and power of prayer. The elders are on your territory in your home. Act like it. The twosome is a front for a baited trap. They will draw you out, I wouldn't go there.
I sent a letter warning against trespass if they came here and verbally enforced it at the last loud mouthed elder visit. I also told the elder who knocked at my door to see if I still didn't want to be called on to "Leave now, not when you feel like it." He stood there writing on his territory card but I stepped outside and at a foots distance reinforced the order to leave NOW! He did. Stand like a man that is what you are.
I think the suicide, fratricide thoughts are usual but Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Some in the borg might even rejoice over your demise. I went through that and wouldn't give them the satisfaction of being destroyed by them. I am in a loving Church of Baptists. I am highly respected there. I AM LOVED. I am in a men's quartet. I go to Baptist men's prayer breakfasts and Baptist men's dinners where we plan projects. My son has a hundred + friends in youth. (He didn't have two in the KHall). The brand is not important, the WT lied about the value and import of brand name denominations. The ministerial staff's qualifications are more important and the discipleship courses they offer. I love my Sunday School group too, all of us wise old folks and old wise guys getting into The Word.
Anger is part of mourning your loss, you lost your happiness and identity and the love of your wife and whatever else, so, on Sunday morning go to CHURCH. Walk tall.
The Watchtower works very hard to convince their members that there is no other place to go. “Whom shall we go away to?” was spoken to a person, JESUS CHRIST. Jesus did not die to establish any organization. His spirit needs none. Jesus died to pay the penalty in FULL for sins. Salvation is by faith alone in Christ alone. Remember how many verses they excused themselves for changing to reinforce salvation by works. Most of John 3, 17:3 and the garbage of “faith without works is dead” is used to convince one that works save. Works do not produce faith, performing works is like acting, you will not become Hamlet no matter how long you play the part.
You will not get faith by doing works “of faith“. You lack faith, yes? Maybe you tried it their way and haven’t seen the fallacy of that. Jesus really did say, “For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.” Belief in what? That a great spirit became a man was murdered and resurrected and that is it - God’s provision for our salvation. That IS IT. The simplicity of it is what people don’t get. Is that too hard? Just believe and love him for the price being paid by him. So what if you can’t figure out why Jesus death saved you? Believing in what God says is why one is saved that way.
Trust. I know that he is looking in on you. I will pray for you and for you to have the presence of an angel there for you.
NO fear. It is forbidden. You are powerful. God is in you now. No weapon formed against you will succeed. Walk tall brother. Soon they will say "you are the man."
I backed my wife into a corner several times and then prayed her into church. She is baptized and that makes six of us out of the WT in 2 years and into Cornerstone Baptist Church. Watch Christian TV.com Watch TV preachers like Creflo Dollar, Perry Stone, Jeffrey Grant, David Jeremiah, Les Feldick who are honorable men. Listen to Moody radio for sermons every morning until noon here. Listen to Christian music. There is some very cool music on Christian Radio. Get a WOW CD at any Christian bookstore or Wal-Mart …. Really truly, DO NOT TRUST THE NEGATIVE TALK. There is a reason they bad mouth their competition. The greater the perceived enemy the greater the response. Ever see Frankenstein? The villagers got pitchforks, torches, whatever to attack that dude who just woke up dazed and confused. He was perceived a great threat.
Now, Imagine you are the Frankenstein man. He was misunderstood. Imagine his feelings, pitchforks in his face and all. I’d be enraged too. Get out all you peasants. I am royalty. A son of the King is a prince.
Love,
Paul
