No Mans Land.........The Void..........Whatever........

by Night Owl 14 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  sylvlef

  Hi,

  nearly the same situation as You, wife is still fully in but more and more accepting That i don't give a sh**t about religion as long as i go to meetings and go from time to time in field service...so not at the breaking point yet.still it's difficult from time to time.
  

  There is no perfect advice as all situations are different, but the first thing is to determine if You want to protect your Family (and by That i mean spouse and other relatives still in), what This Family is ready to accept or not, and what compromise are You ready to accept or not.
  

  If you're not in the mood for compromise, then determine if You are ready to cut dry with (at least in first) the shunning conséquence.

  If you do not feel ready there is nothing wrong to go along for a while...
  

  You have to determine what's best for You...but here You Can find support and no judgement.
  
• 

  TerryWalstrom

  You have no idea how much POWER a husband has in a JW household obviously :)

  You are the HEAD.

  The wife is SUBMISSIVE.

  Wow!

  Do you not imagine how a long-term family Bible study (a REAL study) controlled by you could work to your family's advantage?

  By disconnecting from your own POWER you are indeed powerless as you watch your wife and marriage go off the rails!

  Remember the so-called 'Theocratic Strategy?'

  Reverse that.

  Get smart. Plan out what you are going to do step-by-step.

  Take the steering wheel and drive from captivity into freedom with everybody under your roof on board. You'll all be much happier in the long run.

  
  
• 

  TerryWalstrom

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/27730001/how-turn-home-bible-study-into-underground-railway
• 

  Bugbear

  Being in the land of  ”nowhere” it’s like being a “satellite” beeping from outer space, trying to get in contact with anything. Your wife or “friends” don´t answer you’re beeping. They have plugged their ears with cotton stuff and cannot hear your frequencies. I know I’ve been their myself.  Stopped going in “the service” more than 15 years ago, never attend a meeting in 10 years. My wife still in, and hardcore. But I managed to rescue all my 6 children from the Borg… I am happy but my wife is sad. It took me 20 years of my life to get here, but I am happier now than ever. Time is the worst enemy the “Borg” can have It never loses…

  Bugbear
• 

  BU2B

  As one poster said, the situation is PATHETIC.  It can make you feel powerless, especially when the spouse is hardcore and there are kids involved.  I wish I had some good advice but its different for everyone.  I am fully awake and have been for over 2 years with a 5 year old daughter and a 8 month old daughter.  My wife is fully commited and actively shuns her sister and "best friend'.  I cant just run away, and if I stop all JW stuff I get treated like crap and if I go along with it I am tortured by the meetings and occasional FS and I feel like a hypocrite and feel like I should do more to remove my kids from the situation.  However If I do that the happiness and warmth of the home will be gone and the kids will be raised in a cold tension filled home.  There is no good soloution. Such a complex situation.  Such a tragic situation.

  Good luck to you and yes this is the only place we can come where others can really understand and empathize with our situation.  Its nice to be here for one another.