They make me Sick!!

by wary 31 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  yknot

  I guess I don't see my comments as manipulative versus creating a compromise

  Why is substituing a personal "Bible Study" and creating a children's lesson using outside WTS material manipulating versus reaching a compromise?

  She misses a meeting but still has spiritual sustenance and he also get to expose her and the kids to his beliefs outside of the WTS by using the coloring pages to show her and kids a common thread that runs through all of Xianity.

  Perhaps he could throw in a Memorial attendance.

  Even the Bible suggest talking about God to your children and what better place then out in nature.

  It is a win-win situation for both and she can easily explain missed meetings by asserting headship issue.
• 

  WTWizard

  One good way to help is to miss the boasting sessions and quit going out in field circus. And do not donate anything to the Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund.

  Instead, you invest the time and money you would have invested in the cancer, into the relationships. At which point, it will be a difficult choice--you, or the religion. By pulling you back into the cancer, the spouse loses the extra attention. Keep that up, and see how long it takes to realize that apostates and Devil worshipers (and people of other religions) can have kind feelings toward others, too--unfettered by the rules, at that.
• 

  Quandry

  Love your wife, love your kids, be patient and give her space. The more you rant and rave against the WTS, the more she'll see it as persecution and thus confirmation that she's right and you're from the devil. Seriously.

  Password is right. Renaii is even right. Give her space.

  I know I had doubts, especially when the generation "new light" came in 1995. I can't imagine how I would have felt had I still been "in" when it changed yet again not too long ago. I couldn't understand when for so long I had read in the WT how the generation that was alive in 1914 would still be alive when the end came. They were SO SURE about it. These were GOD'S thoughts-not theirs, etc. I was so uneasy but I felt guilty thinking I had weak faith. At the same time, I was afraid to even speak about it lest anyone think I might have apostate thoughts.

  Maybe just ask her what she thinks about some of these things. Then listen. Fight the urge to spill everything you know. Let her come to the realization gradually for herself. My hubbie and I are out together after over thirty years "in."

  Hope for the best, and remember...Love never fails.
• 

  PrimateDave

  Your "angry apostate" approach might not get the results you are hoping for. As many have pointed out on this forum, be as happy and fulfilled in life as you can possibly be now that you are "out," and your positive attitude on life may open her eyes to the life there is to be lived in the here and now. Remember, the JW focus is on how bad things are (supposedly) in this "old world." So their focus is on a future (fantasy) paradise. Prove them wrong by how you enjoy your life today.

  Dave
• 

  Anti-Christ

  Excellent advice PrimateDave.

  I think it is best to worry about yourself first and let your wife figure it out. It takes a while before you can get all of the programing out of your head and "fix" the damage this cult does to someone. Before I could help others I needed to work on the anger and bitterness I had left in me, these kinds of feelings will cloud your judgment and slow your efforts to help the ones you love.
• 

  passwordprotected

  @ reniaa - Jehovah's Witnesses are encouraged to allow their child to die rather than accept a blood transfusion. Surely it's worth freeing the mind of a JW spouse in order to protect the life of a child?
• 

  flipper

  WARY- I think Primate Dave and Anti Christ hit the nail on the head. Try to work on educating yourself about being happy outside the cult and how to accomplish that. Then you will be much better equipped to help your wife in a non-confrontational manner and she will see how you are progressing well outside JW cult life. The lies that the WT society tell these witnesses is that IF they stop going to meetings and field service they will all become raving lunatics, sex obsessed having orgies, drunks on the street, or drug addicts down and out. But that's a BIG LIE ! Most people leaving the witnesses have a much better life, move on and become more fulfilled because they can use their " free minds " to think clearly finally !

  The reason the WT society tells these witnesses they will fail if they leave ? It's to CONTROL them through GUILT and FEAR . They keep them in fear that they'll become evil if they leave, or get destroyed at the imaginary " Armageddon " - so I'm quite sure your wife stays in due to fear and guilt ! She might not even believe all the crap either - but if they can get her to feel scared if she doesn't believe - then they have her under manipulative cult mind control. And that my friend is what the WT society is after - totally. Hang in there, give it time- be loving to her, she can't see she is controlled. It's a mental disease that the WT society instills in her. To help yourself I highly suggest reading 2 books. Steve Hassan's " Combatting Cult Mind Control " and " Releasing the Bonds- Empowering People to Think for Themselves ". Once you read those books it will help you help yourself - then you'll see more clearly how to help your wife. Best of luck to you ! But you've got to educate yourself . I had to- as I was in the cult 44 years , got out 5 years ago. I wish you the best ! Peace out, Mr.Flipper
• 

  worldtraveller

  Simply letting your spouse go to the meetings is like letting your spouse buy crack. If it's wrong, and as a family member, you absolutely have a right to intervene. Anything else would indicate a lack of love in your heart.

  I was wondering why there is no mention in (even their) bible of the Watchtower society itself, but has, in fact, specific details about your salvation through Christ. If one follows what the society preaches, does that not mean shunning the entire new testament including Jesus who said "I am the way, the truth, and the light"? Simply practicing only the old testament creates only a dim light on the reality of the Christ. Assuming that it is more real than fiction. I will one day ask my former JW associate where it mentions the WTS society, or why the society has been around for such a short period of time, yet the birth of Jesus is 5000 years old, more or less. Does that make any sense? Hope so. Bill.
• 

  isaacaustin

  What happenned to another human having the right to belief what they want as a free thinking human?

  Exactly Reniaa! That is what the WT steals from innocent people! Perhaps you are getting it finally! Perhaps.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  What happenned to another human having the right to belief what they want as a free thinking human?

  ...without being cut off from family and friends.

  Reniaa aside, I feel for you. I have a wife and mother still in. Many are in that boat of family believing.
  Some are shunned by otherwise caring family. People have the right to believe what they want, but it
  shouldn't be beliefs coming from a fear factor of "Believe us or God will smite you" organization.

  Stick around here and really try to follow advice on how to educate yourself and help loved ones. Help your
  kids to know the "real truth" whether they go to the Kingdom Hall or not, don't let them get baptized into it.
  Show loved ones real unconditional love and aid them to think for themselves, not just parrot the WT beliefs.