funny what can happen if they think you are an elder...true sex story

by oompa 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • cultswatter
    cultswatter

    WOW high speed EJACuzzi. I personally like my shower massage. Never knew water could be so much fun

    JS
    JS

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    Hey cool, we got a live one!

  • Tired of the Hypocrisy
    Tired of the Hypocrisy

    SEX IS NORMAL BUT IT IS FOR HUSBAND AND WIFE AND NO MORE IM GOING TO SLEEP YOU CAN SEND ME A MESSAGE IM SURE YOU ALL HAVE ALOT OF HATEFUL STUFF YOU WANT TO SAY LATER

    I don't understand you. The posts I have read from you make me believe that you are an active JW. Or are you being ultra sarcastic? I cannot speak for the entire group here, but I am not intentionally saying alot of hateful stuff. I am speaking the truth of my own personal experiences while involved with the watchtower organization. If you are an active JW I wonder about why you are here. I have access to some current info and it is still against the law to communicate with so-called apostates. In fact I have heard it is almost a d/f offense to be online. *wink* Now I am not going to tell you to shut up or to get lost. I am not about that. I am simply curious.

  • Gregor
    Gregor

    There a pitiful little hunchback young man of about 25 that was soooooo introverted it was really sad.

    Reminds me of the hunchback with a positive outlook...every morning he got up and checked his lump for breasts.

  • cultswatter
    cultswatter

    He could also try out for the man from Nantucket

  • oompa
    oompa

    Apostate 111:

    Antichrists have become particularly active during "the last days," the time in which we now live. (2 Timothy 3:1) A key objective of these modern-day deceivers is to mislead people in regard to Jesus’ role as King of God’s Kingdom, a heavenly government that will soon rule over the entire earth.—Daniel 7:13, 14; Revelation 11:15

    ANTICHRISTS SPREADING SLANDER AGAINST JEHOVAHS PEOPLE. IS WHAT YOU ALL ARE. YOU SHOULD REPENT AND JEHOVAH WILL SURELY SHOW YOU UNDESERVED KINDNESS YOUR CHOICE. DEATH OR EVERLASTING LIFE? REAL THINKER HUH?

    Apostate....please change your name...it does not fit....and what the crap does any of what I posted above have to do with what I have always thought to be a VERY funny, but sad story?

    Highlander: Now the poor guy probably thinks about oompa everytime he masturbates.

    EWWWWWW!

    Homerovah: Strange but I think of oompa when I masturbate, what an irony

    EWWWWWW!

    Sparkplug: And if you are upset and thinking oompa is lying. Let me tell you a tale of mine. I went to the elders just like this man thought he was doing, and told them my husband was masturbating. How freaking horrible is that.

    OMG Sparkplug you did NOT do that!!! That is a tale, and mine was not either....who could make this stuff up????......I now think we may have too many overly caring people here at JWD.....Remember I was only 15 when this happend, and have just laughed my @ss off every time I have told this story, but I guess in a way there is a sad side................................oompa

  • oompa
    oompa

    Bonnzo: How could I forget that swim! We worked all night and then snuck into a country club for a swim......now why you think of our our late night dip and include it in this masturbation thread is indeed disturbing....but call me sometime....I called you several times around the time of your aunts death, but did not leave a message....sorry I could not make the service.........................oompa

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy
    Are people really expected to call the elders over things such as that?

    Tula - I don't know the nitty gritty of the calls but was specifically this behavior that caused my dad to step-down as an elder. He personally didn't feel equiped/qualified to help people with their problems like this and didn't enjoy being the confessor for his friends at the hall...it stressed him out too bad so he stepped down.

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug
    OMG Sparkplug you did NOT do that!!! That is a tale, and mine was not either....who could make this stuff up????......I now think we may have too many overly caring people here at JWD.....Remember I was only 15 when this happend, and have just laughed my @ss off every time I have told this story, but I guess in a way there is a sad side................................oompa

    Oh yeah Oompa..I sure did. I still cringe when I think of it. OMG. it is one of those things you have to tell as a funny joke to even live with yourself. Good thing is, I hear tell laughter is one of the best ways to get through stuff like that when it makes you feel bad, or like thare is no hope for the stupid things you did.

  • hillbilly
    hillbilly

    We had a couple of folks who would call looking for dad too. I'd pick up and they would start right in as soon as they heard a male voice.

    Not so much sexual issues..just whatever bitch they were having that day requiring an elder's services.

    Classic Ompa... I bet the kid never used a phone again!

    ~Hill

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