well it looks like a southern ontario Elder just took his own life. I cant go into details as we live in a very small world in "the truth" and even the smallest amount of detail on this one could quickly connect this to me, so for now its on the D-Low.
It is a relative of a very close friend and he is godsmacked by it. He said to me, " we sure seem to be seeing more of this lately arent we?"
What could I say? We both know of a "hush-hush" suicide only a few weeks ago. The tone of his voice was almost leading to something, he has made some subtle comments in the past and I wonder if he is having the same feelings I am having. I cautioned him that I have some feelings on that subject but that I dont share them as I could get into trouble, but we are going to get together and I think I am going to have my first conversation with a friend about what I am going through. (except for you all on JWD of course!)
I know a family member of a former longtime elder/CO that in one year left his wife and had an affair, got DF'd and killed himself. This was only a few years ago. How does one cope with the thought that they have either 1) condemned themselves to no resurection or 2) spent their entire life living a lie? Although I would never contemplate suicide, the feelings I live with everyday have me so down that if I didnt wake up tomorrow at least this pain would go away. But this isnt about me, its about more Witnesses waiting for happiness that will never come and hating the journey. Isnt happiness supposed to "be a journey" and not a destination? The realization that the destination isnt there is too much to bear, its the only thing that has kept them going on in this "wicked world" for as long as they have and its gone.