by theinfamousone 40 Replies latest jw friends
(((((((((((((( infamous one ))))))))))))))))
Don't know how you feel about this but, if you have medical insurance, you may be able to get counseling/ couples therapy. If you go in initially for a consult about depressive symptoms (a.k.a., grieving a loss), they are often times willing to conduct relationship therapy as part of the treatment. Perhaps your girlfriend would consider this with you?
Sorry to hear that ((((((((((tio)))))))))))
I do believe that the JW experience, and particularly the end of it if you got out alone, is often conducive to a high level of distrust which many people cannot understand. Iow you tend to commit less in order to lose less, because you can't afford, emotionally, to lose everything more than once. I'm not sure that can always be changed (I do hope so in your case) but at least that can be faced. Being honest about it, with ourselves and others, may be the first step in slowly learning to trust again.
I wish you the very best.
Infamous one, Mr. Flipper here. I know Mrs. Flipper and I get along great and are madly in love. But before I met her I was with women who were dishonest, one even unfaithful. So we have found that open communication really works to build up trust in each other and helps us deal with our fears from the past.But it takes both parties involved being totally honest from the heart if you want to get deep and truly understand where the other person is coming from. Ya know we all carry baggage with us whether we openly admit it or not, whether we got it from how we were raised, and I mean how we were raised mentally, emotionally,how our parents taught us or lack thereof, you know? Of course we all have the ex-witness crap also. So hang in there bud, give it some time, see if you can talk it out with her. As Pink Floyd said in one of their songs,"Keep Talking". Peace Bro, Mr. Flipper
Very sorry to hear of your situation. If I can make a suggestion it might be good to part for a few days and let the emotional turmoil cool down as it were.
Spend this time aliasing for yourself why your relationship became so distrustful and weak. After a few days she will start missing you and she'll be in a better state to talk.
Have compassion and listen carefully, you may be capable of saving this relationship if you really want to......good luck and all the best
IMO, what Nark says really nailed it. All the replies are great in fact.
I'm glad you've got friends like the people here on JWD theinfamousone.
Things will work out in the end.
Best wishes brother,
Nvr
Dear One,
I wish you were here so I could give you a big old hug and some fatherly advise. Can not get my arms around you from here, but I can offer you some counseling.
First, be assured that this too, will pass. Second, you are young and to be honest probably don't have a clue as to who you really are. Not knowing who we are, we misplace a great deal of personal-identity upon the person we are most intimate with; and this is often too heavy a load to bear for our beloved. The relationship is doomed.
I suggest you take this new opportunity of freedom to spend more time alone discovering your inner most senses of life and existence (spending time in nature and meditation is conducive to this). Open and come to genuinely know your being and your relationship with Life and universe, and then, and only then, will you have true integrity and love to offer others. For as long as we do not really know our inner authenticity, we live a lie, and all we have to offer others is counterfeit.
Peace be with you, friend.
j
Sorry infamousone. Please meditate on what James Thomas posted to you.
James Thomas - Those are words of wisdom.
Peace be with you also.
Juni
I have to idea what to say except that I'm thinking about you and I send hugs!
Be a little kinder to yourself. If you feel you are to blame, find an opportunity to apologize and ask her what you can do to make amends. You may feel that all is lost, but from where I sit, it looks hopeful. You just need to restore trust, and it may take time, but it will be time well spent.
Wishing you the best,
SandraC
She left, but she's not gone. ......Prove to her you can communicate. What is it that she feels is left out of and relay everything.
Invite her back, have a romantic dinner with her favorite flowers and some candles. (even if you have to order it out) and talk, talk, talk.
You will be ok.
r.
