The "Stupid Jokes" Thread

by Warlock 43 Replies latest social humour

  • Warlock
    Warlock

    Here is my stupid joke: Why did cinnimon roll? Because he saw apple turnover.

    Thank you, Jim of TX for giving me the idea.

    Warlock

  • Rooster
  • Good Girl or Bad Girl?
    Good Girl or Bad Girl?

    Here is one that is REALLY stupid. I just made it up seriously:

    A scallop, seahorse, and shrimp walk into a bar…the scallop says, "Hey ladies, the love muscle is open for business!" A girl throws her drink at him and says, "Clam up!"

    Hardy Har Har. OK, I'm a dork.

    But in my defense...

    No I'm just a dork.

  • Stealth453
    Stealth453

    Whay are hurricanes usually named after women?

    When the come they are wet and wild. When they leave they take your house and car.

  • Paralipomenon
    Paralipomenon

    A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and

    noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he

    wore his collar that way.

    The man, who was a priest, said, " I am a Father."

    The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that."

    The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many."

    The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and

    he doesn't wear his collar that way."

    The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds"

    and went back to reading his book.


    The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over

    and said, "Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of

    your collar.

  • dobbie
    dobbie

    How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?

    No one knows cos its never been done!

  • mama1119
    mama1119
    Leopard vs. Poodle
    A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company.

    One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.

    The poodle thinks, "Oh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

    Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!"

    Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

    The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!"

    Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear.

    "Where's that damn monkey?" the poodle says, "I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
  • misanthropic
    misanthropic

    That's crazy, usually I'm the queen of stupid jokes but for some reason I'm drawing a blank. When my lame jokes come flooding back into my head I'll be back to post a few.

  • quixote
    quixote

    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ?

    A. To show the opposums it could be done.

  • ButtLight
    ButtLight

    How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?

    No one knows cos its never been done!

    Lmao, no kidding. Im the only one out of 6 people who does, and i gave up! Now it just sits on the back of the toilet!

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