Being asked for a ride to work:What do you think I should do? (page 3)

MidwichCuckoo

You've only been there juust over a week - what were your colleague's transport arrangements prior to that...longterm? Or was he just winging it?

It's inconvenient for you - so tell him that.

hamsterbait

Is this user a jdub? Wouldn't surprise me - it's the kind of thing they ask you to do.

HB

Jim_TX

In all of this, I see a lot of 'let him wait outside of your house' or 'let him come to your hous' type of replies.

Be very cautious of letting him - or anyone else - know of your address - or allowing them to 'come over'.

If you try this approach - always have a nearby 'on the way' location picked out to pick him up at - (I.E. the entrance ramp to the freeway - IF he can get inside the vehicle as it is accelerating up to the merge-speed)

It's not that you should not 'trust' the individual... it's just that you shouldn't put yourself into a situation where he feels that he can also be invited inside for a meal... drink of water... etc.

Also - in picking this location - be sure that it is not within sight of your house - so he just stands there and sees you pull into your drive.

Overly cautious? Perhaps. Just be careful.

Regards,

Jim TX

Little Drummer Boy

Others have given many great suggestions, I just wanted to say...

One of the greatest realizations that I made in my transition from a young adult in the borg to where I am now is that I have the right to say "No". I have always been the type of person who loves to help others; many times to a fault, neglecting myself and my family because I always thought it was making me feel good about myself. Many times though, I should have said "No" to whatever was asked of me.

From your initial question and post, it is evident that you are not there yet in the realization (on a deep level) that you can say "no" and that it is OK to do so. I know it may sound silly, but being able to say that one little word "No", without feeling guilty, will give you more peace of mind than you can imagine. It gives you the power to control your life and not let someone else control you.

A related understanding that might help you: you have the right to change your mind.

If you decide to do something but later find out you would rather not, that's OK. You have the right to change your mind. And you don't have to feel guilty about it as long as you are upfront with people about your changed feelings and are reasonable on your exit strategy for the situation.

My 2 cents worth.

mouthy

My advice is

It's inconvenient for you - so tell him that.

becca1

Simply say that if he were on your way you would love to help him, but since he is not, there is no way you could do it and get both of you there in time.

uwishufish

When answering in the negitive my finding has been the words "I don't think so" says NO in a much less objectional way. In these situations be positive let your yes mean yes and your no-no. Positive being for example, " I pass 5th and Elm at 6:05. To ride with me be there at this time as my sceduel does not permit me to wait; I see you there I stop, if not I keep rolling. And by the way since I'll be supplying the car on the days your there to be picked up you'll be supplying the gas. And as my calcuations show the gas for this part of the journey is n$. If you'd like to ride with me, 5 days of up front gas will let me know you're serious. And NO REFUNDS

blondie

Very businesslike, uwish. I like it.

Blondie

MsMcDucket

Time is precious, especially when you're getting ready for work. I know that when I'm working I like to get up and drag around for a bit, drink a cup of coffee, listen to my husband and kids, do dumb stuff. You'll be giving that part up to some degree. My daughter rides to school with her bestfriend. They both love it so far. I think her friend would be offended if she told her that she didn't want to ride with her. My daughter gives her gas money every week.

I guess I'm saying what's important to you? Having company on the ride or having time for yourself?

Mysterious

He's taking advantage and has no right to do so. You don't have an obligation to him, he should have figured out how he was getting to work before he applied. Tell him sorry but I'm on a tight schedule in the morning and I'm afraid you're quite a bit out of the way. Some people need bluntness if they can't take a hint.

Being asked for a ride to work:What do you think I should do?

Share this