I have been told by more then one person of my propensity to use the phrase "...it's all about them." when it comes to the Governing Body. Them and their authority that is.
It isn't any secret that the teachings of JW's revolve around this. Catch phrases like "Faithful and Discreet Slave", "Christs brothers", are all used as part of their lingo. There are others, but it all means the same thing, the Governing Body. And it bears a couple of thoughts on the matter...
There seems to me to be an almost universal realization at some point with those who leave as to how important you really are to them. If you were kicked out via disfellowshipping, then you realized that even if you made a mistake, its not about your repentence, how bad you feel, or even your feelings about Jehovah. 3 men get to decide how sorry you are. 3 men follow guidelines from 9 other men in Brooklyn NY to determine if you fit their predetermined, non-inspired criteria. Besides your repentence, these elders also ty and consider the effect of keeping you in the congregation. The congregation's reputation is more important then you or any "help" they might be able to offer.
So if you got kicked to the curb, misunderstood, wondering how the hell that god's true people can be that way, I guess you got a lot of answers, and just as many questions. But you learn one important fact; it was never about you.
Of course, if you left of your own accord, you didn't need a meeting with the judicial committee, something else woke you up to the fact that you were somehow associating with a bunch of half dead, souless people, whose personalities are being plundered for the sake of the GB.
Lets look at the facts.... Your spirituality is measured in numbers with them. You can be a complete asshole, treat people with self righteous disdain, and get more pats on the back and atta boys, because you sell yourself to them. They NEED you, but only with your brain turned off and your identity held in blind trust.Work hard, do what they say, and you can be the biggest prick who ever walked the earth.
But be a nice, Christlike person who somehow asks questions? Who doesn't want someone telling them how to dress, eat, what to watch on TV, or even where to work and the hours that you do work? It doesn't matter if you are nice, or Christlike. Your individuality is a threat, and you are ostracized for this........
No one becomes or stay's a JW for what they get out of it now. Oh sure, if you are one of the lucky elites, you get room and board in NYC and various branch offices around the world. If you like a lot of adulation and authority, you can try to be an elder or missionary. Expenses paid for a 6-7 day a week or more of work. It seems the least they can do.
You got in it for the future, everlasting life thats advertised. (Hey, they got 1914 right... never mind) Forget now, and forget you in the here and now. There will be time for you after this world of 7 billion or more people is destryoed. Then you can have whatever you want. Then you can be whatever you want. Until then though, you can only be a publisher, pioneer, ministerial servant, elder, traveling overseer, bethelite or missionary. You are either active or inactive. A brother or sister. Hell, they can forget your name, but know you by your gender. "Hello brother! Hello Sister!"
But you are never you.
Ecclesiastes is still a book with some value for me, and there is a great scripture that always resonated with me personally, not for the reasons the GB ever postulated on it. Ecl 7:1 says "A GOOD name is better than precious ointment;" Of course, reputation is implied here, but whose reputation is it? Yours and mine.
Generally in the west, we have two names or more given. Here are a couple of paragraphs from Wikipedia on the matter.
A surname is a name added to a given name and is part of a personal name. In many cases a surname is a family name; the family-name meaning first appeared in 1375. [ 1 ] Many dictionaries define "surname" as a synonym of "family name". [ 2 ] It is also known as a "last name". In some cultures, the surname may be a patronymic or matronymic. Burmese and some Javanese do not use surnames.
Although surnames are commonly used as last names, in some cultures, the surname comes first, followed by the given name or names; this is the case in Hungary, China and other countries in the Far East. Japanese names are always in this order, although the Japanese commonly will reverse the order of their names for the convenience of Westerners, just as Hungarians do when associating with other Europeans.
Our names really do mean a lot. It implies our past, but also our future. Our last name or surname, represents all that we came from, our family, or origins, our roots. Sometimes, some of us try to change our last name, because we don't like our history and want to plot our new course. It is customary for woman who get married to take on the surname of their husband, although that tradition doesn't matter as much in the USA as it used to.
But its our first name that makes us who we are. It's the name we respond to, its the name we are known best by to our friends and family. It isn't necesarry to say "I am John Smith" (with apologies to anyone here named John Smith) to the friends and family of John, is it?
And therin lies the great and cunning scheme of what the GB does to you. Because it is all about them, they must marginalize you. I have had occasion to think to myself more then once while I was in the borg how no one has any first names anymore on becoming a JW. They take it away, and replace it with "Brother" and "Sister". Because you have know joined the "brotherhood" of the "great (and indistinguishable) crowd", you must give up your name. I know several JW's who hardly ever use the first name of anyone outside of their immediate family. It's either "brother" or "sister". There are bored CO's wives with nothing better to do but approach kids at the Kingdom Hall and remind them of how rude it is to use someone's first name. Because we are all "brothers" and "sisters".
Over time, we forget our name too. We become our own version of Gollum from Lord of the Rings, who hadn't heard his real name, Smeagol for so long, he almost forgot it.
When we lose our first name, we have lost ourselves. Because it's all about them, the GB can now harvest our time and energy, tricking us into thinking that we don't matter, but the brotherhood does. And hey, you are a brother aren't you? (sisterhood is implied here too, but of course, they don't refer to it as such, because women, oh, I'm sorry, sisters, are even less important then brothers)
I am totally aware of the implication of calling someone brother or sister. I get called brother a lot at work by my employees. I get the "we are working closely together, doing the same thing" type of brother and sister. But JW's go way beyond that. It's not just common work that is at stake, it's you losing and giving over your identity to them.
You see, you and I were never on a first name basis with the Governing Body, ever. And no one ever will be. Your first name, which is so important, is the first thing to go in JW land.
If one leaves, they find that their first name is often a shell. That isn't a bad thing per se, it only means that it has been neglected, it is waiting to be discovered and filled up. For years it had been discarded with the insidious, robotic term "Brother" or "Sister". But no more. Now we have the chance to have our name actually mean something, to be something of our creation, not to be used and discarded by an insidious cult.
That's why I get so concerned sometimes about exiting JW's, because it is so easy to see the pain caused by someone who not only had their first name neglected for so long, but often times do not even have a first name relationship with themselves when they look in the mirror. It shows. (and that can be one of the biggest helps to boards like this, to help us learn and discover who we are, what we want our first name to mean to others, but more importantly, to ourselves when we have to look into the mirror.)
Our first name is what we want it to be, and should we choose to neglect our first name, then that is what we will be known for. We can be sad, mad, or determined to reclaim the meaning of our name. We can make our name something that represents a determination not to give up, and to do the best we can with the circumstances we have.
If we want things to be as they should, if we want it to be about us, (which isn't bad, its healthy!) then we can not look at ourselves as a "Brother", "Sister", "ex-Brother" or "ex-Sister". When we can be _____________ then we have finally got the stench of the Governing Body handled. And for sure, to be on a first name basis with the person staring back at us in the mirror is a really cool thing to experience. 