Dear crazyguy
I briefly looked at some of your posts. I saw that you had some discussions with your wife about the topics mediator and blood. You wrote you needed to talk to the elders and you did. Then she nearly left because of spiritual endangerment.
My situation is similar to yours. I also told my wife and the elders about my doubts. That affected our relationship quite a lot because she feels that I spiritually cheated on her. I recently told the elders that I would accept and also donate blood. So I don't know yet if they will finally view me as da by action.
My question to you is. How does your wife view you now? Is your relationship better?
If you want to make it clear that you don't want to be a jw then da. Then you can find happiness in another christian church or also just by your personal relationship to Jesus. I can't tell you how this will affect your wife. If you continue to be a loving and respectful father it will maybe be good for your children as you don't have to pretend any longer that you follow jw rules and they see it.
If you da then you show them that you don't agree. Of course you could also try to fade it is not that easy to weigh