ThunderStruck52
JoinedPosts by ThunderStruck52
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25
Single Sisters
by BashfulAshG inam i the only one who has single, desperate sisters in the congregation?
they tend to be holier-than-thou, frumpty, but in private talk about getting married.
but they don't understand why no brother will look at them.
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ThunderStruck52
Yes for sure, I think every congregation has at least one, if not several. The congo I grew up in, is no exception. There are a handful who are still there, unmarried and "waiting" for Jehovah to answer their prayers to find someone that meets their ridiculous standards. And not to be a jerk, but the years have not been kind to them. Matronly dressers who put very little effort into their appearance. The ones that I know, are also quite immature and stunted due to being socially isolated all their lives. Sad. -
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Has there been a recent WT on not socializing with non active JW family?
by ThunderStruck52 inhey guys, i'm not able to check this site as often as i'd like with two small kiddos to run after.
just wondering if there has been any strongly worded wt study or direction recently about not associating or socializing with inactive jw family?
i'm not disfellowshipped but its almost like im getting the shunning treatment from my mom in the last 2 months.
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ThunderStruck52
Thanks Caleb :-)
Steve2, Dad and mom still married - did i just blow your mind? hahaha Yeah who knows how, but Mom has been a JW since 1973 (funny) and Dad never did buy into it. Still together somehow.
Thanks for your replys.
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7
Has there been a recent WT on not socializing with non active JW family?
by ThunderStruck52 inhey guys, i'm not able to check this site as often as i'd like with two small kiddos to run after.
just wondering if there has been any strongly worded wt study or direction recently about not associating or socializing with inactive jw family?
i'm not disfellowshipped but its almost like im getting the shunning treatment from my mom in the last 2 months.
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ThunderStruck52
DOC: all heads still intact. Yeah I realize they are reminded quite frequently of the danger of associating with us "inactive" and spiritually weak ones. Thanks for your two cents! You guys are right on, as usual.
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7
Has there been a recent WT on not socializing with non active JW family?
by ThunderStruck52 inhey guys, i'm not able to check this site as often as i'd like with two small kiddos to run after.
just wondering if there has been any strongly worded wt study or direction recently about not associating or socializing with inactive jw family?
i'm not disfellowshipped but its almost like im getting the shunning treatment from my mom in the last 2 months.
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ThunderStruck52
Hey guys, I'm not able to check this site as often as I'd like with two small kiddos to run after. Just wondering if there has been any strongly worded WT study or direction recently about not associating or socializing with inactive JW family? I'm not disfellowshipped but its almost like Im getting the shunning treatment from my mom in the last 2 months. She doesnt call me anymore or initiate contact. She will talk on the phone pleasantly enough if I call her, but thats about it. She used to visit me and her grandkids but now, all I hear is crickets. Did I miss something? Of course it doesnt help that I sent my non-JW dad a Fathers Day card and took him out for his birthday this year for the first time :-) I figure he has suffered quite enough all these years. Thanks for any input, I appreciate it!!
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32
What allows parents to shun their children ?
by man in black inmy son, went to college and got his bachelors degree.
he started his own anmation company about two years ago, and it really has taken off.. while my wife and i were witnesses, we both received grief about allowing our son to go to college, but we stood up for him and backed his decision to attend 110%.. anyway, this past week he finally closed on a very nice, neat condiminium .. and while he is getting ready to move out on his own, i have quite a few feelings of sadness,as a parent, seeing him move on is kinda rough, but realizing that this is a very good thing for him makes it easier.
he will only be about 7 miles away.
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ThunderStruck52
Does anyone ever notice how some of these "by the book" JW parents will downplay or never admit that they shun their own children to their worldly relatives or colleagues or whatever? I think they do recognize on some level how unnatural/unhealthy the practice is, but not enought to stop themselves from doing it.
This happened when my mother and sister refused to attend my wedding (Im not DF'd by the way, I was marrying "out of the truth"). Other relatives where like WTF? and they were ashamed about it a little bit and didnt even attempt to explain it. Weird.
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24
Meeting others????
by DATA-DOG inare you like me, afraid of meeting up with faders and ex-jws??
i am afraid to be ratted out.
the only person that i have ever personally spoke to is raypublisher, well on the phone ans skype.
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ThunderStruck52
Ditto Leaving...I'm also on west coast. It would be nice to meet and talk with others :-)
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38
Does Anyone Feel the Ministerial School Helped Them?
by Band on the Run inas a born-in, i was eager to join the ministry school.
my cousins were also born-in but lived in different states.
there was keen competition to see who could do mature things, such as baptism (my mom said when i was 35) and ministry school.
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ThunderStruck52
I was extremely shy and introverted as a kid, so the whole experience was anxiety ridden from the moment they handed me an assignment slip. I started like most girls as a householder, usually with your Mom. It was always weird to be assigned a partner that you never really talked to like a 75 year old sister and have to go to their home and practice, etc. Oh well it was nice enough once you did get to know them on a personal level, I guess. Other than that, I hated it pretty much and would worry about it until it was over. The material was so repetitive and the previous poster is right about nobody really remembering any of these "talks" or paying much mind to them in general. A lot of people will make it a point to compliment you on the talk afterwards but this is the only positive reinforcement/encouragement you can expect as a JW.
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32
Born-in memories, etc this is my first post, guys ;-)
by ThunderStruck52 inso i have decided to jump in and for the first time and share some of my random memories that seem to have been floating around my mind more and more lately.
mostly if all the weird anxiety i experience from time to time is related to it.
i guess that would be a different topic to post!.
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ThunderStruck52
@Humbled: mom still in and always will be. Dad never a jw but they are still together. Guess you can see who wore the pants in the fam, eh?
@lois: The deciding moment or event per se came when I realized I could never shun my own children the way my sister was going to once her daughter was df'd. That was a few years ago, before then I was just another inactive jw not really planning on going back but I'd never go to the dark side hahaha. Well that ship has sailed and I'm glad I figured it out.
thanks all for the kind and encouraging posts. I'm finding this all to be nicely therapuetic!
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32
Born-in memories, etc this is my first post, guys ;-)
by ThunderStruck52 inso i have decided to jump in and for the first time and share some of my random memories that seem to have been floating around my mind more and more lately.
mostly if all the weird anxiety i experience from time to time is related to it.
i guess that would be a different topic to post!.
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ThunderStruck52
Thanks for the responses...gettin a little teary here :) Looking forward to actually joining in and talking to everyone!
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32
Born-in memories, etc this is my first post, guys ;-)
by ThunderStruck52 inso i have decided to jump in and for the first time and share some of my random memories that seem to have been floating around my mind more and more lately.
mostly if all the weird anxiety i experience from time to time is related to it.
i guess that would be a different topic to post!.
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ThunderStruck52
So I have decided to jump in and for the first time and share some of my random memories that seem to have been floating around my mind more and more lately. mostly if all the weird anxiety I experience from time to time is related to it. I guess that would be a different topic to post!
The older I get, the more amazed I am that I made it out. So a lot of this stuff is probably what you have all heard over and over again from someone born into this group, but thank you for taking the time to read through anyway. I have read countless posts over the past 2.5 years and in the beginning I was your typical nervous, semi-ex JW wondering if something bad would happen to me if I did. I apologize for the rambling nature of the memories. These things have been coming to mind a lot lately I guess because I am a mother now (6yr old and 1yr old) and married- 'thank the lord' to a non-jw.
So here goes:* Being in Kindergarten and not being clear on whether to salute the Flag or not. I think I did and told Mom about it and then never did it again until now the ripe old age of...gasp 38.
* Being sent to the office during any holiday party or if any forbidden songs were being practiced in chorus. This always sucked because I liked singing. Kids would apologize to me for "accidently" giving a Valentine or wishing Merry Christmas.
* I used to feel guilty that I liked "The Grand Old Flag" song we did at school assemblies. My 6 year old recently learned it and wow I still remembered the lyrics (due to secretly loving it all through school). When I tell my dear hubby these things he just gets this sympathetic expression and always says "That's so sad, honey" Huh, I never thought it was until he said it, but he is right. Its like Im finally giving myself permission to feel bad about what I missed out on and what a heavy friggin burden these people rest on the innocent minds of little kids.
* Someone here said something about "keeping friends at arms length" because you knew you couldn't really have a relationship with anyone outside of school. Story of my life all through school for sure. Invitations never accepted, no involvement in ANY SCHOOL RELATED FUN.. God, that really blew.
So here's the biggies:* Not going to college probably my hugest regret. Its hard not to blame my mom as well as the twisted thinking of the org but when you never get any positive feedback or compliments for anything you do its just a weird bubble to grow up in. Its like the only way to get any positive reinforcement is if you "reach out" ha, ha its funny to even use that phrase. So the so-called "friends" in the hall will smile and pat you on the back if you appear to be doing this. Really not for anything else in life that would actually matter or amount to anything (sigh).
I know that everyone kind of agrees that service was not something we enjoyed doing and I am no different. I used to feel guilty about that though, like something was wrong with me because I dreaded it EVERY TIME. I never felt comfortable at the door and no matter how much I prayed about it, I never got used to it and always wished I didn't have to participate. But if you didn't, whoa the guilt heaped on was worse, so I just struggled through. Yikes such a huge relief that part of my life is no more - its such a delicious and overwhelming sense of freedom to know you just don't have to do it anymore. Ever. Amen.
So the other biggie would be...surprise! getting married at the ripe old age of 19 to a JW ass-face. So that could be a different post but suffice it to say that I got married pretty much because that's just what you do. I also wanted to leave home for the obvious reasons of suppression that is considered normal JW life.
Okay so I grew up going to DCs at Dodger Stadium here in Southern California (later at Long Beach) and CAs at Norco and Mira Loma. You know going to assemblies and conventions were not that bad. Its weird and pathetic at the same time because as a good JW that was really all you had to look forward to in life as far as excitement goes. Gawd, that's awful to have to admit. Anyone here want to message me from that wonderful era, please do!
I'm so appreciative of this forum for just existing. It has helped me in ways that I cant find the words to describe. Seriously, bless you people who take the time to read and respond and share with everyone.