Posts by wheelwithinwheel

22

Question For Those Who Have Been Around Awhile...

by BoomTown in

jw
friends

i started fading about a year and a half ago after i saw serious problems within the organization and doctrinal flaws.

i was a ms, bethelite, pioneer for the better part of 10 years.. while pioneering as a ministerial servant i married a girl who wasn't considered "strong" in the truth despite being raised in the truth.

anyway for the better part of the last 18 months i talk to her about the flaws when an opportunity presents itself.she no longer goes out in the ministry(more or less for the last year).. .

wheelwithinwheel

Sounds to me like she's already well on her way. No more service. That's a big one. Sees serious flaws. That's another big step.

Be patient and don't push it. The process has begun. You probably need to say no more. Even if she opens the door, make sure you don't drown her with WT criticism. Give her time to think it out herself.

It sounds to me that all that is left are the meetings.

Take her out. From time to time plan the outing on meeting nights. Go away for the day on some Sundays. If you have a good time, she will begin having no problem missing meetings. She may even begin helping you plan activities to get away from attending meetings. We've seen it happen to friends of ours. Buy her a thoughful gift near but not on Christmas, her birthday or Valentine's day. Tell her it isn't to celebrate the holiday. It's just because you wanted to buy her something. She may come to understand there's nothing wrong with letting someone know they are special. Point out to her how great, generous and kind some worldly people are. She will make the contrast herself. You don't have to do it.

Once the meetings are over with or she attends once in a blue moon you will probably be where you want to be as a couple. Faded but still able to have contact with your wife's parents. While they may feel somewhat upset that she no longer attends, they are surely somewhat prepared since she has stopped FS. And faded is sure easier to accept and deal with than df'd.

In all the situations I've seen the biggest challenge is time. The person leaving needs time. Don't be impatient. Give her the time. It takes time to get someone in and it takes time to get someone out.

Good luck!!!!

64

Do you feel sorry for the family members who shun you?

by SweetBabyCheezits in

jw
friends

as each instance of shunning happens to me, it seems even more ridiculous than the last.. this weekend i took our kids to the park - wife opted out, understandably - and we let our daughter call my parents to inform them we'd be there.

this was my first time in the presence of my parents since our df announcement two weeks ago.. my mom and dad were 10-20 feet away much of the time and yet they never said a greeting or.. well anything.

at one point my daughter, who is aware of the shunning, mistakenly thought my mom called my name and shouted excitedly, "mawmaw, were you talking to daddy??

wheelwithinwheel

Yes, I do for some, like my mom.

My sister was df'd 35 years ago.

My dad sounds like yours. I don't feel bad for him. He just wrote my sister off as a casulty. In Israel he would probably have cast the first stone.

But my mother's miind was trapped. She felt she had to be true to her God but she also wanted to be true to her kid. She also wanted her kid to come back to God (the cult). She became a broken shell, eaten by WT guilt and personal guilt. She perhaps had mental health issues before, but over the years has become more and more mentally ill.

I'm certain the WT policy contributed to her mental illness. She lost all her interest in life. She now sits in a home for the elderly and tells everyone she is df'd, which she is not. I believe today she would accept to see my sister but it is just too late.

My dad and the JW relatives, as well as JW friends blame my sister for my mother's situation, saying my sister's df'ing brought on the sickness. They don't get it that the WT shunning policy has at the very least, made my mom's sickness a lot worse. Perhaps if it wasn't for the shunning she may not have become sick.

I recently watched a program about the Mao years in China. One of the interviewed spoke for the millions who obeyed Mao blindly and who is today shocked that it could have happened. He said it well: "We no longer thought, but just obeyed"

35

The letter re: coil binding the elder book

by booby in

i think if an (intelligent) questioning jw was able to read the letter about coil binding the book the impact could/should be greater.

this letter should be an embarrassment to the gb.

what blatant and stupid instructions sent to a large group of men who are supposed to be available to instruct in an intelligent way persons coming with an assortment of life's problems.

wheelwithinwheel

This letter is quite a clear statement of just how far their head-scarf-mentality goes. As many sisters have commented over the years, it's way beyond scriptural. I'm sure equal rights discussion groups woulld be happy to receive a copy and learn how far JW have come over the years.

25

Is the WT going to move on this leak?

by wheelwithinwheel in

jw
friends

i'm sure the legal, public relations and other depts.

are all asking the gb how to handle this situation.

and i'm convinced the gb is scratching it's head trying to decipher j's spirit direction in all of this.

wheelwithinwheel

I'm sure the legal, public relations and other depts. are all asking the GB how to handle this situation. And I'm convinced the GB is scratching it's head trying to decipher J's spirit direction in all of this. Should they really move on it...could get a lot worse if they do.... News agencies are always looking for a good story...

23

Is this weird or what?

by 1Robinella in

jw
friends

the other day i was on the phone with my mother.

she lives about 20 minutes from the rest of the family.

she'll be 73 in november.

wheelwithinwheel

My aunt’s P.O. is doing an excellent job of looking after her. She’s 93, has no children, and still lives on her own. It’s amazing that, with all his duties as the presiding elder, he still manages to find time to even look after her financials. And we recently learned he now has power of attorney. He’s actually offered to move her in with his family. We’re extremely impressed with his loving attitude.

He has let it slip to a few brothers that she has a considerable amount of money but we’re convinced this has nothing to do with his interest in her affairs. Then again there are plenty of older ones in his congregation and she’s the only one he has insisted should move in with his family. Hmmm….

31

Should I reply?

by wheelwithinwheel in

jw
friends

i received this e-m from a well-meaning jw friend who hasn't cut me off and seems to still have hope i will return.

should i reply?

any ideas on what i should say?

wheelwithinwheel

Wow, I can't understand why my JW training didn't kick in. I just can't believe that I didn't even stop to consider the legend might have a pagan origin. I could have passed it on and got into big trouble. I guess I've been out too long and have let down my origin-guard.

Thanks for all the comments, I've decided I need to reply and I think your ideas will be very usefull.

Wheels

31

Should I reply?

by wheelwithinwheel in

jw
friends

i received this e-m from a well-meaning jw friend who hasn't cut me off and seems to still have hope i will return.

should i reply?

any ideas on what i should say?

wheelwithinwheel

I received this e-m from a well-meaning JW friend who hasn't cut me off and seems to still have hope I will return. Should I reply? Any ideas on what I should say?

Jehovah will never let go of us. It's up to us not to let go of Jehovah. Some years ago on a hot summer day in south Florida a
little boy decided
to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his
house. In a hurry to
dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door,
leaving behind shoes,
socks, and shirt as he went.

He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam
toward the middle of
the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore. His
mother in the
house was looking out the window saw the two as they got
closer and closer
together. In utter fear, she ran toward the water, yelling
to her son as
loudly as she could.

Hearing her voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-
turn to swim
to his mother. It was too late. Just as he reached her,
the alligator
reached him.

From the dock, the mother grabbed her little boy by the arms
just as the
alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war
between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the mother,
but the mother
was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to
drive by, heard her
screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.

Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little
boy survived.
His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of
the animal. On his
arms, were deep scratches where his mother's fingernails dug
into his flesh
in her effort to hang on to the son she loved.

The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma,
asked if
he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And
then, with
obvious pride, he said to the reporter, 'But look at my arms.I
have great
scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Mom wouldn't let go.'

You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars,
too. No, not
from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of
those scars are
unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some
wounds, my friend, are
because Jehovah has refused to let go. Inthe midst of your
struggle, He's
been there holding on to you. He wants to protect you and
provide for you
in every way. But sometimes we foolishly wade into
dangerous situations,
not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is
filled with peril
- and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack.

That's when the
tug-of-war begins- and if you have the scars of His love
on your arms be
very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go.

Please pass this on to those you love. You just never know where
a person
is in his/her life and what they are going through. Never
judge another
persons scars, because you don't know how they got them.

Right now, someone needs to know that Jehovah loves them,
and you love them
too ~~~~~ enough to not let them go.

You give but little when you give of your possessions.

It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

18

I made this for PropagandaTechniques on youtube but the folks here might like it...

by Tuesday in

jw
friends

i told propagandatechniques that i would make him this shirt based on one of his videos.

if anyone's interested to take a look.

the 144,001 shirts seem to be the most popular ones at the moment.

wheelwithinwheel

Some If....you're probably are a J.W T's could be fun

Like "If you believe it's necessary to write down and report the time you spend talking about God you're probably a J.W"

"If you believe reading the Awake! magazine for several years gives you the equivalent of a college education you probably are a J.W."

"If you believe God's throwing Satan out of heaven had something to do with WW1 in 1914 you probably are a J.W."

"If you believe everyone needs to examine their beliefs but know you are forbidden to examine your own you probably are a J.W."

81

David Splane in Pictures

by VM44 in

jw
friends

.

wheelwithinwheel

David Splane was a missionary in Africa - learned French - was sent by the WT to Quebec - served as CO - wowed the brothers by speaking without notes, talking in an intense voice, while looking everyone in the eye. He received his calling at the time everyone who was being called were being told by their elders that it was very unlikely God would pick some ordianary person to replace an unfaithful king/priest. Rumour had it that his wife was devastated that they would not be together in the NS. Not long after he was scooped up by headquarters.

18

I made this for PropagandaTechniques on youtube but the folks here might like it...

by Tuesday in

jw
friends

i told propagandatechniques that i would make him this shirt based on one of his videos.

if anyone's interested to take a look.

the 144,001 shirts seem to be the most popular ones at the moment.

wheelwithinwheel

If I had a grandkid I would get 2 t's made up - mine: I'M ANNOINTED - the kid's: I'M ANNOINTED TOO and underneath I'd have: WE'RE FROM THE SAME GENERATION printed on each shirt. Then I'd walk around at a DC and lead the WT security around the stadium. I think it would be great fun.