I have 0 ability to make friends... I can go to a party and be the center of attention - yet I have no clue how to make a friend.
sosoconfused
JoinedPosts by sosoconfused
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24
What problem did being a JW leave with your personality?
by frogonmytoe inand i don't (necessarily) mean a religious or spiritual one.. for example, i think the traces of guilt and paranoia i often fight with come from being a born-in, but my biggest issue by far is not being able to live in the moment.. i have listened to the power of now audiobook (and eckhart tolle's voice put me to sleep) so i read it instead.
i have read other self-help books, most of them buddhist in leaning, but i still find it hard to stop thinking only in the future (thanks to the great trib, armageddon), or in the past (jesus, flood, 1914 being responsible for that).
and whilst i no longer believe the big a is looming, and barely give anything else a second thought, my behaviour has projected itself, and i still find it difficult just to 'be' in the moment, enjoying and savouring what i'm doing, and doing it to the best of my ability, i'm forever thinking what is coming up, and what i did badly last time.. my sister said the last time i visited her that she felt like she was waiting for something to happen "but not like armageddon, something else".
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37
My brother says: Don't worry about 2052, we will be in paradise by then...
by Joliette ini was talking to my brother about a video that i saw about african genocide, and in the video this doctor that i listened to was saying based on his research he predicts that africans in different regions of africa will be scaled back by about 50% by the year 2052 (due to aids, food storages, etc).
my brother gave me a drive home from work and we were talking about this.
he said that we wont have to worry about that cause 2052 is never going to happen.
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sosoconfused
What happened in 1952 and 1994??????????????????????
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15
Joy based upon faith is just not enough
by sosoconfused inat the hieght of my jehovah's witnessness like most people it seemed that everything that i found joy in was always bookmarked with the "new system" that i was eagerly awaiting.
if i went on vacation and i was truly enjoying a moment in the sun and total peace the first thought out of someones mouth was always, "just imagine(i am sure everyone knows what is coming next) in the future when everyday will be like this in the new system!".
then there were those anniversary parties when you are so proud someone made 20 or 25 years and the next word out someones mouth inevitably was, "this is a great milestone... but just imagine in the new system when we will say how proud we are we made it to 1 million!!!!..
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sosoconfused
IYes Blues...
3 Years ago my grandmother died and she held on to her hopedown to the last.
The funny thing is she wasnt pushing it in our face, she said she was at peace and just wanted god to take her. Just sad to see people go not quite sure if they were happy with their choices
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15
Joy based upon faith is just not enough
by sosoconfused inat the hieght of my jehovah's witnessness like most people it seemed that everything that i found joy in was always bookmarked with the "new system" that i was eagerly awaiting.
if i went on vacation and i was truly enjoying a moment in the sun and total peace the first thought out of someones mouth was always, "just imagine(i am sure everyone knows what is coming next) in the future when everyday will be like this in the new system!".
then there were those anniversary parties when you are so proud someone made 20 or 25 years and the next word out someones mouth inevitably was, "this is a great milestone... but just imagine in the new system when we will say how proud we are we made it to 1 million!!!!..
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sosoconfused
Must live life now...
I have a 70+ year old father and a 65+ year old mother. I look at their lives and they have been a total an utter waste. I never really remember them being genuinely happy about anything ever. Everything was always negative and what we were not doing and how we could do more for Jehovah... they never accepted promotions at work... they never ever took us on vacation... the struggled financially with all of their children all with the hope that we would enjoy life in the new order together stroking pandas.
here they are retired... living off SS and still never having gone on a real vacation, or bought anything they liked or ever had a hobby. My mother still pioneers and my dad is still an overworked elder loosing his mind from the stress thinking he is pleasing god. Still so busy with this theocratic activity that they missed both of their grandchildrens graduation because they had a bible study... and the woman didn't even show.
What a waste
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15
Joy based upon faith is just not enough
by sosoconfused inat the hieght of my jehovah's witnessness like most people it seemed that everything that i found joy in was always bookmarked with the "new system" that i was eagerly awaiting.
if i went on vacation and i was truly enjoying a moment in the sun and total peace the first thought out of someones mouth was always, "just imagine(i am sure everyone knows what is coming next) in the future when everyday will be like this in the new system!".
then there were those anniversary parties when you are so proud someone made 20 or 25 years and the next word out someones mouth inevitably was, "this is a great milestone... but just imagine in the new system when we will say how proud we are we made it to 1 million!!!!..
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sosoconfused
@StAnn - those are the exact feelings I have. At first I was really troubled. I was so concerned about what others would think and how they would feel. In actuality, those are the last thoughts one should have on thier mind. Why go to the grave happy that you denied yourself everything just to make sure others looked at you favorably. When you have the option of dying knowing you enjoyed your life
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15
Joy based upon faith is just not enough
by sosoconfused inat the hieght of my jehovah's witnessness like most people it seemed that everything that i found joy in was always bookmarked with the "new system" that i was eagerly awaiting.
if i went on vacation and i was truly enjoying a moment in the sun and total peace the first thought out of someones mouth was always, "just imagine(i am sure everyone knows what is coming next) in the future when everyday will be like this in the new system!".
then there were those anniversary parties when you are so proud someone made 20 or 25 years and the next word out someones mouth inevitably was, "this is a great milestone... but just imagine in the new system when we will say how proud we are we made it to 1 million!!!!..
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sosoconfused
I am sure it was just one long mad lump of whinning LOL, it's just that looking back over the wasted time and memories it starts too burn a little
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14
Brothers who were held back from being elder for stupid reasons?
by toto555 indo you know of any cases where brothers didn't get to be elder for a stupid/bogus reason even though they otherwise qualified?
do you think some/most appointments are politicially motivated?
how much do you think politics plays in the appointment process versus merit?
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sosoconfused
About a year ago just before I started the fade a brother in our hall was told he could not be an elder by our CO because the elder body did not know what he was studying with his family on Fmaily Worship night. This is no lie.
He said as the elder body we need to know whether or not he has his family are studying the deeper things and what he is instilling in his child.
Another brother was not appointed because he had not placed a book in over a year. The CO said - You can pretty much just give a book away. Especially with all the campaings etc... what has this brother been doing in the field
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221
What JW catch phrase DRIVES YOU NUTS!!!!
by megaflower in"we should be mindful".
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
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sosoconfused
@punkofnice
Dude my old COBE about 3 years ago started using the word "behoove" in ever possible situation one day for no reason... Literally he uses it atleast three times per meeting. It freaking makes my skin crawl
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15
Joy based upon faith is just not enough
by sosoconfused inat the hieght of my jehovah's witnessness like most people it seemed that everything that i found joy in was always bookmarked with the "new system" that i was eagerly awaiting.
if i went on vacation and i was truly enjoying a moment in the sun and total peace the first thought out of someones mouth was always, "just imagine(i am sure everyone knows what is coming next) in the future when everyday will be like this in the new system!".
then there were those anniversary parties when you are so proud someone made 20 or 25 years and the next word out someones mouth inevitably was, "this is a great milestone... but just imagine in the new system when we will say how proud we are we made it to 1 million!!!!..
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sosoconfused
At the hieght of my Jehovah's Witnessness like most people it seemed that everything that I found joy in was always bookmarked with the "new system" that I was eagerly awaiting. If I went on vacation and I was truly enjoying a moment in the sun and total peace the first thought out of someones mouth was always, "Just imagine(I am sure everyone knows what is coming next) in the future when everyday will be like this in the new system!". then there were those anniversary parties when you are so proud someone made 20 or 25 years and the next word out someones mouth inevitably was, "This is a great milestone... but just imagine in the new system when we will say how proud we are we made it to 1 million!!!!.
Granted I participated and indulged the iea and used that same logic at every occasion as well. But since awakening I realized that those moment did not bring me joy, instead they brought this weird feeling of sadness and uselessness. It took the joy of a wonderful moment and covered it over with my hope and faith of something that was coming that I may or may not be in... paradise. Even if I was sure to be there, the constant reminders of how much better that time would be would always diminish the joy that was to be had at that one particular moment.
I even remember at the birth of my first child how elated I was, I was on cloud nine. My over-zealous mother says. She is so gorgeous! I can't wait till the new system when I can have more too. Then your children will be able to play with their own uncles and aunts!!! She laughed... I laughed... but once again we took all the joy out of the moment... and once again placed it on an unseen moment that we all hoped to be there for.
It seems like the most beautiful scriptures such as Ecclesiastes 3:10-13 never really have any true meaning to a jehovah's Witness unless it pertains to the field ministry in some weird twisted way.
Personally I would rather revel in the daily moments of joy of looking at a butterfly on a flower and thinking just how beautiful it is without worrying about how much better it will be in "the new system". I want to look at the accomplishments my kids make and rejoice with them now instead of always minimizing their current accomplishment with one that my faith leads me to believe will happen SOON.
The life of a witness is like the kid that is told at the beginning of summer vacation that before the summer is over he is going to go to Disney World. Every day the kid thinks all day about it, he tells everyone he meets that he is going to Disney World very soon. He reads about all the things to do at Disney World. Dreams in his mind of what he will ride. Little does he know that the promise was just an empty message from his parents to get him to shut up. They had no intention of fulfilling those words. As the days of summer vacation come and go he realizes that the summer is over in just a few days and his parents seem to have forgotten. While all the other kids in the neighbor had fun at the swimming hole, basketball court and just hanging out making real memories... all he is stuck with are his dreams and broken promises...
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11
SIAP: Kingdom Hall Cartoon
by Emery ini found this today and thought it was brilliant.
it definitely captured everthing perfectly.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keidzmxhliy.
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sosoconfused
The watchtower reader ... O MY GOD I was laughing so hard its ridiculous.
I also remember as a young sex deprived teen passing the mic and looking at the liverspotted breasts of 50+ year old women and trying to hide the arousal.