I checked today, but no answer from You Know. I appreciate the other responses. Do you have an explanation and/or answer to my earlier question?
troubled
JoinedPosts by troubled
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7
A Message for You Know
by troubled ini read your message, as well as the messages from the others.
i will give all of the comments i received thoughtful and prayerful consideration.
including yours.. however, i think maybe you didn't read my postings carefully enough before responding.
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troubled
What's a Borg? I keep seeing that word and have never heard it before
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Readable Copies of WTS Financial Statements, Etc.
by troubled ini'm just wondering,.
i've read some allegations that the watchtower society mismanages funds and has covered up financial information, etc.
are there any actual copies of wts financial statements, showing mismanagement of money?
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troubled
I'm just wondering,
I've read some allegations that the Watchtower Society mismanages funds and has covered up financial information, etc. Are there any actual copies of WTS financial statements, showing mismanagement of money? Or are there any actual copies of documented forms or letters that prove their involvement with politics? etc.?
I've seen a couple of scanned documents on a different website (Watchtower observer, I think). But the scans are so small, I can't make out the writing. And when I print anything from that site, the words on the right side of the page get cut off.
I'm not trying to be suspicious of the Society, or be doubtful of those making allegations. I just want to see what documented evidence is out there.
Does anyone have more readable copies of the original documents? Or know where they can be found?
(I feel so GUILTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) It's an awful feeling . . .
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A Message for You Know
by troubled ini read your message, as well as the messages from the others.
i will give all of the comments i received thoughtful and prayerful consideration.
including yours.. however, i think maybe you didn't read my postings carefully enough before responding.
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troubled
To You Know,
I read your message, as well as the messages from the others. I will give all of the comments I received thoughtful and prayerful consideration. Including yours.
However, I think maybe you didn't read my postings carefully enough before responding. I DID use Jehovah's name in them. See the posting "So Confused," 5th paragraph from the end. See "Suicide," 3rd paragraph from the beginning.)
Maybe my relationship with Jehovah does need work. I have to be humble and admit this. I also admit that right now, I don't have the answer to my situation. Also, if I am doing the wrong thing by posting here (listening to "apostates"), I will suffer the consequences.
But on the other hand, don't the scriptures encourage us to be like the Boreans, to make sure that what we are told is "really so?" We encourage our Bible students to do this. I feel that's what I'm doing (weighing all sides of an issue). Is that wrong?
What I don't understand is this: On one hand, we are told to do research, make sure what we believe, etc. Yet after we get baptised, if a doubt or question comes up, we really AREN'T allowed to weigh all sides.
What I mean is, we can go to the Society's literature and look for an answer. But reading anything else is wrong. And talking about our doubts is bad. Any view different from the Society is "apostasy". I'm having trouble understanding this.
Also, I notice the governing body sometimes quotes from other religious leaders and their publications in the Awake and Watchtower. Granted, they do so in order to show where they are wrong.
But here's what I don't understand: in order to quote from false religious stuff, the governing body must be reading it, right? Isn't that wrong too? Why do they read it and decide what parts to tell me, but if I read it, I'm going apostate?
If you could answer this, with scriptural explanations, it would really help alot. As I said, I'm confused and want to understand. Really I do.
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Can anyone help me?
by aud8 incan anyone out there ease my mind?
i am about to disassociate myself and feel so scared.
what if i'm making the wrong decision?
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troubled
Just a thought for you,
I confess, I have not read the responses of others, but will do so in an attempt to get a broader perspective. But having seen your question and realizing the significance of it, I must say this:
If you are scared and unsure about the effects of disassociating, perhaps you aren't ready to do so. I myself have doubts and concerns, which I've only VERY RECENTLY begun to address. The way I've approached it is this way: I didn't come into the Truth quickly; neither will I leave in a hurry.
Have you given adequate consideration to the reasons for disassociating? Or are you still unsure what to do? (I.e., like me, do you feel it's God's organization, but realize there are matters difficult to reconcile?)
Assuming Armageddon doesn't come tomorrow, next week, next month, etc., you have some time to think about things. No need for a snap decision.
I'm not saying "stay" or "go." I myself have my own struggles, issues, etc., and I don't know where they will lead me. I'm only saying weigh both sides of the issue. Give deep and prayerful thought to this. And don't feel in a major hurry to make a decision. Maybe you could give as much time to deciding whether or not to leave as you gave to studying with the Witnesses originally (deciding to come into the organization). I have no magic answers. Just my own human idea/opinion.
I know it's hard to wait and/or be up in the air. I know it's hard not to have answers or know just what to do. But with patience, maybe the answers will become clearer. And when you are really READY to make a decision, one way or the other, you will know what to do and not be quite so afraid and scared.
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OK to Check In?
by troubled ini just felt the need to check in.
i've just felt so touched at the heart by those of you who responded with such loving interest yesterday.
and while i need to be grown up, responsible, and wise, sometimes all i want is for someone to love me and keep me safe.
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troubled
Hi Everyone,
I just felt the need to check in. I don't know why. I've just felt so touched at the heart by those of you who responded with such loving interest yesterday. (You, who don't even know me.) And the invisible hugs, well, I felt them. I really did!
Anyway, I found out today my doctor wants to switch my antidepressant medication from Zoloft to Effexor. I'm kinda wondering if anyone out there has taken it? And if it helped? I know it's fairly new; only approved by the FDA since 1997.
Realistically, I know no antidepressant is going to take away my problems, answer all my questions, or put the blinder back over my eyes as far as "seeing reality." But maybe with the right medication, I can face reality without being overwhelmed, my doubts without guilt, my dreams without fear. I know I can't go through life being so darn sensitive. Feeling emotions TOO MUCH. Y'know, I EXHAUST myself. And maybe those around me.
I'm hoping the right medication can help me keep my emotional balance while I'm dealing with the inconsistencies and discrepancies I'm seeing in the organization. I just want to be able to figure out how to best handle this new awareness without going off the deep end, feeling betrayed or abandoned, or getting overwhelmingly confused by so many differing viewpoints.
I have this awful feeling I sound like a Polyanna (pansyass). I don't mean to. The truth is, I've been living in "Candyland" for a very long time (over 30 years). Not just with the organization, but with LIFE IN GENERAL. Sometimes, it seems my life has been one big dream that I've only just awakened from. Like being reborn in midlife and waking up to a big, wide world that I don't understand, and with so many contrasting beliefs, I can't take them in, sort them out, etc. Like SENSORY OVERLOAD!
I try really hard to be responsible and act like an adult. But sometimes I feel that inside this 37-year-old woman's body is a small, scared child. And while I need to be grown up, responsible, and wise, sometimes all I want is for someone to love me and keep me safe. Someone or something that can keep me in a safe, warm, cocoon and never let anything bad happen to me ever again. I know that's normal for a child. Not so normal for a grown woman. But it's true.
I realize now I've looked to others to be my hope, my wise counselor, my guru. Maybe I've looked to the organization to be that for me. To my husband. Maybe even to you. And yet I know it isn't your job to fix my life. Only I can do it. But the task is like a mountain. Like a gigantic mountain, and I am wearing only sandals, and not cleats.
I guess what I'm asking is: Will you stay there with me while I sort things out? (Reading my postings and responding?) And if I sound like a scared kid, please try to understand.
Even if I'm self-absorbed right now, with my own problems, I love each one of you who has responded. I love you already because you cared enough to reach beyond yourself. Maybe someday, I can do the same for you.
Thank You
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What about the poisitve things learned?
by aud8 inwhat about the biblical truths explined by the witnesses?
yes there are many things wrong with the organisation, but they did get a lot right - trinity, hell etc etc is anyone grateful for some of the teachings they received whilst being a witness?.
aud8
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troubled
Yes, I am grateful for what I've learned. The Witnesses have set a fine example in many ways and have taught many truths. Most JWs are sincere, hard workers who study the Bible, love God, and care about people.
I am still a Witness. I haven't left. And I know that no organization is perfect and infallible. Where I am finding difficulty is in deciding to what degree we use the explanation of "we are all imperfect and make mistakes?" In other words, how many wrongs DON'T make a right (if you know what I mean). After all, we denouce other religions for the dishonest and immoral practices within their clergy and their ranks. So where do we draw the line when we see wrongdoing in our own ranks?
Obviously, there was dishonesty and wrongdoing in ancient Israel, and within the first-century Christian congregation too. So it should not surprise us to see it in Jehovah's organization. On the other hand, the governing body is supposed to be led by God's spirit, so we expect them to at least do what's right to the best of their ability.
When we see things going wrong in the organization (especially at higher levels), fellow brothers and sisters being treated unfairly and suffering without help, or see manmade suggestions becoming unspoken "rules," etc., it puts us in a terrible quandry. Do we fall back on the "we're all imperfect" realization, the "vengeance is mine, I will repay, says Jehovah."? Or do we speak up, like some did in Bible times, to try to correct the matter? Do we become inactive, because we still believe it's the Truth, but our conscience no longer permits us to go to people's doors and encourage them to join an organization that we believe is God's but is tainted enough by imperfection that there are some serious problems? Or do we just give up and get out, thinking maybe it has lost God's favor?
WHAT TO DO? I have no answer to that. Only questions.
But in answer to your question, YES, I AM grateful for the things I've learned as a JW!
And now I have to quit posting, as thinking about all of this is just too overwhelming and is giving me a headache.
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To Active COs/DOs
by Maximus ina major news organization is in final process of preparing a tv program addressing the issues raised by silentlambs.
its producers and investigator reporters wish to be fair and unbiased, and are seeking broad input and insight.. another such organization has been attracted to the child abuse issue but does not wish to duplicate what's covered.
they are in the initial stages of examining the blood issue and that of enforced shunning and its consequences, in the light of human rights issues globally.
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troubled
As a person who was molested as a child (not by a Witness), I am deeply interested in, and passionate about, this issue. Please post a message letting us know when this TV show will air, what time, what channel, etc. Or how we can get a copy of the show on video.
Thank You
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I'm OK -- Don't Worry
by troubled ini just wanted to apologize if i scared anyone with my suicide question.
don't worry about me.
i'm not going to do anything rash.
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troubled
Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to apologize if I scared anyone with my suicide question. Don't worry about me. I'm not going to do anything rash. It's just that sometimes things feel so bleak, I feel I've exhausted all my options, and I am, myself, exhausted by the effort. But I'm OK, so don't worry.
Right now, I think I should stay where I am: stay in the organization, but also truthfully consider the problematic areas (i.e., weigh both sides of the issues I'm seeing). I didn't come into the organization quickly, and don't plan to go out the door in a rush either.
But I know, for my own mental health, I need to keep my eyes and mind open: take an honest look at what's right about the organization, what's wrong, and what would be the right way to address it/deal with it (stay, leave, try to reform it, be forgiving and overlook it, write the Society, etc. ect.) It is not going to be easy. And also not easy to figure things out without being swayed one way or the other.
I know nobody can make my decision for me. But it sure helps to having a place to vent, some outlet, a way to think out loud without fear of being judged.
Again, thank you
p.s. I will post again later on, after I've had time to digest things.
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Suicide
by troubled inserious question (last one for awhile.
i promise!).
let's say a person has a good heart.
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troubled
SERIOUS QUESTION (LAST ONE FOR AWHILE. I PROMISE!)
Let's say a person has a good heart. I mean, no human can say for sure who has a good heart. But let's say this person loves people and life, and they really just wish things were "right" in this system, but knows they aren't.
Well, the the only way they have been able to deal with the ugliness so far is to either not think about it (live in Candyland) or keep telling themselves it will soon be over (Satan's rule; system ending). Well, up till now the Society has been a parent figure and source of security and direction: an answer to present questions/ anxiety/turmoil.
If circumstances force that person to see reality (i.e., they realize no one has the definitive answer to life's questions and problems, including the Society) and that person takes their own life (after trying all available avenues such as counseling, elders, friends, depression medication, etc.), do you think Jehovah will understand and bring them back to life? I mean, if they've exhausted ALL their options and just can't get themselves through to the other side?
I'm not saying I'm going to do that. Just wondering. I would exhaust all my options first. But sometimes, the idea of quiet peacefulness until the time of the resurrection is a comfort. I've always been a sensitive person. I sometimes think I am too sensitive for this world.
What imes I think, "Just give me a lobotomy. If I didn't think so much, I would probably be so much happier." You know what I mean? Even my husband says I "think too much." I know it's true.
I'm sorry to lay such a heavy load on you. I know none of you can give me a definitive answer about this. I guess I'm just wondering aloud if worse came to worse, and I just couldn't get a handle on this (the depression), and I checked out, I wonder if Jehovah would understand and give me a second chance.
As with so many things, the Society has changed their view on this. So I can't consult the literature with a sense of confidence. And yet I know what I'm asking for from you is also human opinion. So just read my words please, and take them in. No need to respond to this. I am thinking out loud.
StillI sometimes think is: "Just give me a lobotomy. If I didn't think so much, I'd be better off." But I can't help it.
I know I am asking for your personal opinion, which carries no divine weight. I guess I'm just wanting another human opinion. Please respond if you feel compelled.
As you can see, I'm still looking for that person with the final, definitive answer. I know this isn't right. Only Jehovah knows, and he isn't going to speak from a cloudmass.
All I can say is I treasure each and every response I've received, and I will give it honest, heartfelt consideration. Also, I'm sorry I've dominated the website today. I promise to hold off for awhile. I know I am not the only person in pain and/or needing to talk).
Again, thanks for your support. I don't know what to make of it.