Suicide

by troubled 20 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  troubled

  SERIOUS QUESTION (LAST ONE FOR AWHILE. I PROMISE!)

  Let's say a person has a good heart. I mean, no human can say for sure who has a good heart. But let's say this person loves people and life, and they really just wish things were "right" in this system, but knows they aren't.

  Well, the the only way they have been able to deal with the ugliness so far is to either not think about it (live in Candyland) or keep telling themselves it will soon be over (Satan's rule; system ending). Well, up till now the Society has been a parent figure and source of security and direction: an answer to present questions/ anxiety/turmoil.

  If circumstances force that person to see reality (i.e., they realize no one has the definitive answer to life's questions and problems, including the Society) and that person takes their own life (after trying all available avenues such as counseling, elders, friends, depression medication, etc.), do you think Jehovah will understand and bring them back to life? I mean, if they've exhausted ALL their options and just can't get themselves through to the other side?

  I'm not saying I'm going to do that. Just wondering. I would exhaust all my options first. But sometimes, the idea of quiet peacefulness until the time of the resurrection is a comfort. I've always been a sensitive person. I sometimes think I am too sensitive for this world.

  What imes I think, "Just give me a lobotomy. If I didn't think so much, I would probably be so much happier." You know what I mean? Even my husband says I "think too much." I know it's true.

  I'm sorry to lay such a heavy load on you. I know none of you can give me a definitive answer about this. I guess I'm just wondering aloud if worse came to worse, and I just couldn't get a handle on this (the depression), and I checked out, I wonder if Jehovah would understand and give me a second chance.

  As with so many things, the Society has changed their view on this. So I can't consult the literature with a sense of confidence. And yet I know what I'm asking for from you is also human opinion. So just read my words please, and take them in. No need to respond to this. I am thinking out loud.

  StillI sometimes think is: "Just give me a lobotomy. If I didn't think so much, I'd be better off." But I can't help it.

  I know I am asking for your personal opinion, which carries no divine weight. I guess I'm just wanting another human opinion. Please respond if you feel compelled.

  As you can see, I'm still looking for that person with the final, definitive answer. I know this isn't right. Only Jehovah knows, and he isn't going to speak from a cloudmass.

  All I can say is I treasure each and every response I've received, and I will give it honest, heartfelt consideration. Also, I'm sorry I've dominated the website today. I promise to hold off for awhile. I know I am not the only person in pain and/or needing to talk).

  Again, thanks for your support. I don't know what to make of it.
• 

  zev

  You talk all you want, thats what this site is for.
  I'd like to welcome you. I've read your stuff. And I was deeply touched. Please keep sharing your feelings and thoughts with us. Its people like you that make people like me think and know, that I am not alone.

  (((troubled)))

  
  __
  Zev
  The greatest consistancy of the WTBTS is their INconsistancy.
• 

  jayhawk1

  I just logged on, and I saw your post. Now I will look for the others too. To answer your question, let me tell you about myself. My dad died last year, and I don't believe it was an accident. I think he might have taken his life. My only reason is he told me how he might die if he took his life. I took him to counceling. A month later, he died exactly as he said he would. I don't believe it was coinsidental. I think under his circumstances God might forgive him, but I am not certain of it. I can just hope that He might. God is much more forgiving than us, and that is all I am certain of.

  "Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford
• 

  Oldhippie

  Hey Sis,
  You are scaring me a little right now. My sister committed suicide 3 years ago last March. I miss her terribly. Please, run...don't walk to your counselor and talk, talk and talk some more. Her death left a big hole in my heart and I am sure that would be true for those who love you, including people you've never actually met such as on this board. Please give yourself the time and the opportunity to sort things out. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.

  with hopeful love and encouragement,
  Oldhippie
• 

  chappy

  Remember, God won't drive you crazy; just religions view of him.

  later,
  chappy
• 

  zev

  Just a thought, troubled.

  here is a link to a page you may find helpfull....please read it.
  it has helped me. it may help you in your time of need also. http://www.freeminds.org/psych/deprog.htm

  my thoughts, and prayers are with you.

  
  __
  Zev
  The greatest consistancy of the WTBTS is their INconsistancy.
• 

  SixofNine

  I've been reading your other post. You remind me of me about 12 months ago.

  Hang in there, don't go anywhere, KEEP THINKING.

  You are on the cusp of the best time of your life. I really believe (especially if I am right about your situation being a lot like my own), that you have probably been slowly going into depression far longer than you realize. I also would bet almost any amount of money that your "thinking" is what is causing your depression.

  That is a good thing, because you may well be able to "think" your way out of it. Someone else mentioned "cognitive dissonance" to you. I would really encourage you to read up on it. I really think it was killing me, this tortured reasoning I had to do to make these concepts about the organization AND God make sense in my head. As you have alluded to in another post you started, they don't. (make sense)

  It is a great thing you are doing, this "asking questions", questions that you had forbidden yourself (with a little help from some puppeteers in Brooklyn).

  If you have a good attitude about it, what I am about to say next can comfort you. If you only want to cling to some faux foundation for your life, it will be disconcerting. There are way more good questions than good answers.

  I don't throw around the "truth" word lightly anymore, but I think what I just told you is true. There ARE good questions about the organization, about Gods name, about the veracity of much of the bible, about the cross vs stake, about billions of people who have no clue about the bible or christianity, about the flood story, about the morality of many, many bible stories. There are answers to most of those things, but not good answers. The great thing about realizing this, is that it puts you in league with every other human on the planet. No one, and I do mean NO ONE, has the answers any more than you.

  There is even very good reason to be quite uncertain as to whether Jehovah will snap his finger and raise you from the dead, viola! paradise, whether are not you end it yourself, or die from external causes.

  So don't go getting fitted for a casket just yet. That's not really that unlike a suicide bomber in the middle east.

  Next step for you, from Doctor Six (yeah right!, lol), is to start seeing the good in the world, that you have purposely been excluding from yourself. Also, realize that you, my friend, are part of that good.

  I'm excited for you. The future is bright indeed. There is ugliness, but there is beauty. There is progress on this beautiful planet, it is slow but sure, and it is worth being a part of.
• 

  larc

  Dear Troubled,

  Don't be worried about the amount you post here. You had the courage to over come your fear and open up your heart to us. There may be dozens of others reading this who have the same thoughts as you, and need words of encouragement just like you do. So your fully expressing yourself here is a good thing, not only for you, but for many others.

  There are many here who have had very serious bouts of depression and still have to fight suicidal thoughts at times, but they are getting better. Talking here has helped them, and getting professional counseling has helped as well. Please just take it a day at a time for awhile. Things will get better.
• 

  think41self

  Dear Troubled

  My heart goes out to you. I have not read your other posts, but will do so in an attempt to learn more about you and what is going on in your life.

  I believe many here can sympathize AND empathize with what you are feeling. Depression is a terrible thing...doubly so because you can't see when it will end, and the thought of enduring life feeling that way is intolerable.

  To answer your question...no, I don't want to take on that responsibility of giving you my opinion.

  Just believe me, and the others who have already responded, that it WILL NOT LAST forever...this struggle that you are going through. And if you can hang in there, get therapy, (and maybe some free therapy here) some of your angst will resolve itself. You are at the beginning stages of what could very well be the best time of your life. Please find someone to talk to about this...and continue to talk to us...we care!

  Tracy
• 

  Maximus

  Unfortunately I've had extensive experience with persons who have contemplated suicide, who have attempted it, and those who have carried it out recently. I'm really glad you are openly talking about the subject, because that in itself is a healthy act.

  Invariably the person is ill and often does not recognize it. Not crazy, ill. Whether it is merely an imbalance of neurological transmitters caused by something chemical or medical, or caused by faulty thought processes fostered/made worse by a religious group, makes no difference. That person needs help, and friends are sometimes unable to reach such a one.

  Do you really believe a legalistic God would say, "Well, too bad for that one. S/he broke a law. Gone forever." That's not the message I read in the the life of Jesus. What do you think?

  The person inclined to suicide often feels that just to be numb in death would be wonderful. Easier to contemplate a resurrection. Yet you have to think about being robbed in not seeing future grandchildren or other good events in the future, or frankly robbing others by depriving loved ones of your company. They will not be better off.

  During the time period of building self-esteem and getting healthy again, there may be grave risk to the deeply depressed. That's why therapists often work with persons to put them on medications that do not tranquilize but rather work with the specific chemical imbalance. There are many newer and more specific products than the first generation of Prozac types that can be selected to individual need. Remeron, for example, is one that seems to do well with alcoholics. Others do better in helping with obsessive rumination. I'll not name others of the newer families, but old standbys like Zoloft or Paxil or Wellbutrin or ... Do get some professional help on this from your therapist.

  And if you do have suicidal thoughts, it is okay to discuss them; dangerous to you and your family if you do not. Suicide happens when the pain of hanging on is worse than the pain of letting go. There is a thread here on that subject, maybe someone else can pull it up.

  Meantime, we are just very happy you are sharing here. You certainly are not dominating the board here, but you represent the very reason many of us spend our time here when we could be with family or friends, or whatever.

  I can tell you from personal experience that there are tens of thousands of persons who are just like you. That's not to say you are not unique, but to note that the dynamics of the organization has an effect on many of us just as you so honestly and openly speak about.

  Whether posters here are Christian, nonChristian, atheistic or agnostic, we are one when it comes to compassion for persons such as you. Take advantage of our desire to help.

  Know what, don't trust anyone who says they have definitive answers to life. The big secret that we may learn if we are lucky is that the joy is in the journey. No matter if you can't see it today, there is always some way out of life's dilemma. And that WILL appear, unless you harm yourself.

  My very best,
  Maximus