stephanie61092

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Posts by stephanie61092

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  74

  What song explains what you have gone through in life?

  by brandnew in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is mine....watch "coolio ft. l.v - gangsta's paradise (official music video)" on youtubehttps://youtu.be/cpgbzylnz7c

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  stephanie61092

  Same as Village Idiot...

  Losing My Religion

  At first I was heartbroken but now I'm relieved.
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  55

  Would you have married your spouse if you weren't both JWs?

  by 3rdgen in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok, i've had some wine, but i'm curious.

  objectively speaking, but for the religion, did you have enough in common with your spouse to have met and married as non believers?

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  stephanie61092

  Not married, but as for my boyfriend... There's a possibility we would have met even without being JWs. I moved to his area for work and we probably would've eventually met as he seems to have a connection to everyone (popular guy!). I know I still would have been attracted to him ;) Some things would've been different though for sure. For one, when he was 18, he got DFed and managed to get himself reinstated and when we met, I had a great deal of respect for him because of that. So that aspect would've been gone if we were never JWs. However, I'm grateful to have wound up with someone who woke up not long after me and is helping, encouraging me through this dreadful process. Now, I'm not so sure I could be with a person who didn't have a JW background and who couldn't appreciate the craziness and trauma that the cult inflicts onto people.
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  3

  Scientology, FLDS, jws what's the difference?

  by Ghiagirl in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i feel a little better i didn't believe in polygamy or that a volcano erupted and we flew out of them and came down to the earth or whatever scientologists believe.

  but at the same time all 3 groups have the same cult qualities.

  anyone who doesn't believe is called an apostate, members get shunned whether it's disfellowshipping or disconnecting.

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  stephanie61092

  The documentary on Scientology is called "Going Clear"
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  41

  Long time lurker, first time poster ...

  by LettMorrisSplaneit in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i finally had the guts to create a profile to be able to post.

  i've been lurking for a few months and have read all your experiences and comments dutifully.

  you have been a great help in my process of waking up from this cult posing as the one true religion.

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  stephanie61092

  Hello and welcome! Best of luck in your wake

  up process. This board is a great place to start.
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  23

  Wt encouraging people to completely forgive but they dont

  by poopie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  but they don't forgive because they still shun people.

  who they feel are not worthy of forgivenes.

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  stephanie61092

  Story of my freaking life. Exactly why I sit in a therapists office once a week and get enough venting done so I don't blow my brains out. For another week at least.
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  21

  Why Me?

  by Grey Goose in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it the question that i have found myself constantly asking myself the past few months.

  out of all the jws i interact with, why did it have to be me that woke up from this mess?.

  i am relieved that i have woken up to the bullshit, but a side of me misses that fuzzy feeling of being a 100% believer.

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  stephanie61092

  That's how I feel the majority of the time. Part of me misses the bliss of thinking I had all the answers. But overall, I'm happy to know TTATT because I can live a life of general freedom and not feel guilty for being disfellowshipped and then once I'm "back" I know I can live my life without the guilt of going in service enough or missing a meeting
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  18

  Peer Pressure amongst witnesses

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  have you noticed just how strong peer pressure is amongst witnesses?.

  the desire to match or better one another's "spiritual accomplishments" or decisions in life?.

  pioneering - because it is the "right" thing to do.. answering at meetings...perhaps multiple times - because it is the "right" thing to do.. choice of employment.

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  stephanie61092

  Another example of how being brought up in the JW cult screws up your childhood!
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  20

  Chitty

  by StopTheTears in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've learned that many years ago, there was a man named brother chitty of some prominence in the jehovah's witnesses organization.

  it fact, chitty was a member of the governing body.

  chitty was asked to resign his position after serving for many years and nothing much was ever said about it to jehovahs witnesses.

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  stephanie61092

  I don't know the circumstances. However, you can't be DFed for being a "secret" homosexual. You can only be DFed if you openly admit you're gay and/or practice homosexuality (even if only kissing someone of the same gender). Otherwise, "gay tendencies or inclinations" are simply viewed as "thorns of the flesh."
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  56

  Did any of us ever enjoy meetings?

  by stephanie61092 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this is a legitimate question.

  did any of us ever find real joy in being at the meetings?

  did any of us ever finish a meeting and think "i feel so enriched"?

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  stephanie61092

  This is a legitimate question. Did any of us ever find real joy in being at the meetings? Did any of us ever finish a meeting and think "I feel so enriched"? Since waking up, I've been able to admit that I've NEVER enjoyed the meetings - EVER! I have ALWAYS been bored and my mind has been elsewhere, but I felt too guilty to admit it. If anything, I've learned a great deal in patience and day dreaming. As an adult, every time I went to the meeting I only ever thought about where I would be going to eat after the meeting and with whom OR what things I needed to get done after the meeting was over. This was even true when I was an active "strong" witness, who commented and took notes during each meeting.

  A little while ago I was hanging out with a friend who is also DFed but not 'coming back' and they said to me "religion is sitting in a church and thinking about going kayaking. Spirituality is sitting in a kayak and thinking about God." That thought has really been resonating with me these past few days.
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  22

  I no longer feel smart as a JW, I feel dumb...

  by thedepressedsoul in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  i don't want anyone to take this the wrong way but i use to at least feel smart as a jw.

  when i went to thursday night meetings, i at least felt like i was a student, that i was learning how to speak publicly, i could prepare my own comments, i could answer points that i learned from the weekly bible reading.

  i even feel like an "idiot" studying for the meetings.

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  stephanie61092

  Don't apologize. Your rant echos my thoughts as well as many others. Even my still very "in" JW mother says that the information presented in the literature and at the meetings is "fluff". The society knows that the new converts can't handle anything that involves much Bible research and merely relies on pulling on their heart strings. It's pathetic, really.