Scully

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Posts by Scully

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  39

  Oops I did it again. Another mistake

  by KariOtt in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so it seems i made another mistake.

  i expressed negative feelings to my hubby.

  i'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions.

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  Scully

  perfect1:

  It's not actually an exhaustive list. I've kept it for well over a decade - so things like cell phones, social media and internet use are not addressed.

  I would certainly include something to the effect of "compelling her to delete social media pages, blogs, etc. that he does not approve of" and any other bullying behaviour.

  One of my biggest concerns is the social isolation he and his relatives are trying to impose. That is part and parcel of the BITE Model of Cult Indoctrination: Behaviour Control, Information Control, Thought Control and Emotional Control. If a person can be isolated, it helps to facilitate cult manipulation and indoctrination.
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  39

  Oops I did it again. Another mistake

  by KariOtt in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so it seems i made another mistake.

  i expressed negative feelings to my hubby.

  i'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions.

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  3. 
• 

  Scully

  This is a list that I use at work in situations where I suspect a patient might be in an abusive relationship. Take from it what you will, take note of the points that apply.

  The Eight Types of Abuse

  These lists of abuse are based on one made by men who were describing how they controlled or harmed their wives or girlfriends. Remember, a single act may not be abuse. But if someone is doing something to harm or control you ... then, YES, it is abuse. You have the right to be treated with respect and to feel safe in your home.

  * Indicates acts which are clearly criminal, or may be criminal depending on the circumstances.

  Emotional/Psychological/Verbal Abuse

  • making her do illegal things*
  • false accusations
  • name calling, finding fault
  • yelling
  • intimidation
  • making her think she's crazy or stupid
  • overpowering her emotions
  • disbelieving her
  • bringing up old issues
  • inappropriate expressions of jealousy
  • degrading her
  • turning a situation against her
  • brainwashing her
  • laughing in her face
  • silence
  • refusing to do things with or for her
  • insisting on always getting his own way
  • pressuring her
  • neglecting her
  • expecting her to conform to a role
  • real or suggested involvement with other women
  • making her feel guilty
  • certain mannerisms (eg, snapping fingers, pointing)
  • threatening to get drunk or stoned unless ...
  • manipulating her
  • starting arguments
  • withholding affection
  • not sharing in household chores as punishment
  • never really forgiving, holding grudges
  • lying
  • treating her as a child
  • having a double standard for her
  • saying one thing, meaning another
  • denying or taking away her responsibilities
  • not keeping commitments
  • threatening her with loss of immigration status
  • deliberately creating a mess for her to clean up
  • threatening to report her to the authorities
  • making her drop charges
  • telling woman-hating jokes
  • minimizing her work or contribution
  • pressuring her to stay around during drug or alcohol abuse
  • not coming home
  • displaying woman-hating or violent pictures
  • egging her on, challenging her to physical violence
  • coming home drunk or stoned
  • friendship or support of men who are abusive
  • demanding an accounting of her time/routine
  • taking advantage of her fear of something
  • ridiculing her preference in foods
  • threatening suicide unless ...

  Emotional abuse around reproduction, pregnancy and childbirth

  • refusing to allow or forcing her to use contraception
  • forcing her to have an abortion
  • refusing sex on the grounds that her pregnant body is ugly
  • denial that the child is his
  • refusing to support her during the pregnancy
  • refusing to support her during the birth
  • denying her access to her newborn child
  • not supporting her or helping out after she comes home with the baby
  • demanding sex after childbirth
  • blaming her because the infant is the "wrong" sex
  • refusing to allow her to breastfeed
  • pouting, sulking or making her feel bad for time spent with the baby

  Environmental Abuse

  In the home

  • harming pets*
  • ripping clothing*
  • locking her in or out*
  • throwing away or destroying her possessions*
  • slamming doors
  • throwing objects, food
  • taking the phones or denying her use of the phones
  • punching walls
  • mowing over her garden

  In the vehicle

  • driving too fast*
  • driving recklessly, pounding the steering wheel*
  • driving while intoxicated*
  • forcing her into a vehicle*
  • pushing her out of a vehicle when it's in motion*
  • threatening to kill her by driving off a bridge, into and oncoming car, etc.*
  • chasing or hitting her with a vehicle*
  • killing her in a deliberate accident*
  • prohibiting her from using a vehicle by tampering with the engine, chaining the steering wheel, taking the keys, etc.
  • putting his foot over hers on the gas pedal
  • hitting her while she's driving
  • grabbing the steering wheel while she's driving

  Social Abuse

  • controlling what she does, who she sees, who she talks to, what she reads, where she goes
  • not passing on messages
  • put downs or ignoring her in public
  • not allowing her access to family or friends
  • interfering with her family or friends
  • change of personality with others
  • being rude to her friends or relatives
  • dictating her mode of dress
  • dictating her behaviour
  • habitually choosing friends, activities or work rather than being with her
  • making a "scene" in public
  • making her account for herself
  • censoring her mail
  • treating her like a servant
  • not giving her space or privacy
  • insisting on accompanying her into the doctor's office

  Using children

  • assaulting her in front of the children*
  • initiating false child abuse charges against her
  • making her stay at home with the children
  • teaching children to abuse mother through name calling, hitting, etc.
  • embarrassing her in front of the children
  • not sharing responsibility for the children
  • threatening to abduct the children or telling her she'll never get custody
  • putting down her parenting ability

  During separation or divorce

  • buying the children with expensive gifts
  • not showing up on time to pick up children or not having them back on time
  • pumping children for information about boyfriends, etc.
  • telling children that Mom is responsible for breaking up the family
  • using children to transport messages (sending notes home to Mom in their suitcases)
  • denying her access to the children
  • not giving a valid phone number

  Financial abuse

  • taking her money*
  • forging her name*
  • giving her false receipts
  • cancelling her insurance
  • sabotaging her efforts to attain economic freedom
  • withholding money
  • spending money foolishly or beyond means
  • pressuring her to take full responsibility for finances
  • not paying fair share of bills
  • not spending money on special occasions (birthdays, etc.)
  • spending on addictions, gambling, sexual services
  • pressuring or controlling her working conditions
  • preventing her from taking a job

  Ritual abuse

  • mutiliation*
  • animal mutilation*
  • forced cannibalism*
  • human sacrifices*
  • suggesting or promoting suicide
  • forcing her to participate in rituals
  • forcing her to witness rituals

  Physical abuse

  • any unwanted physical contact*
  • kicking, punching or pinching her*
  • pulling or pushing her*
  • slapping, hitting or shaking her*
  • cutting or burning her*
  • pulling her hair*
  • head butting*
  • squeezing her hand or twisting her arm*
  • choking or smothering her*
  • force feeding her*
  • spitting on her*
  • throwing her*
  • throwing things at her*
  • hitting her with objects or whipping her*
  • restraining her in any way*
  • tying her up*
  • urinating on her*
  • breaking her bones*
  • knifing or shooting her, murder*
  • threatening to kill or injure her*
  • ignoring her illness or injury
  • denying or restricting her food or drink
  • pressuring or tricking her into alcohol or drug use
  • standing too close/intimidating her
  • hiding or withholding necessary medication

  Sexual abuse

  • any unwanted sexual contact*
  • forcing her to have sex, hounding her to have sex*
  • forcing her to have sex with others*
  • forcing her to have sex with animals*
  • uttering threats to obtain sex*
  • pinching, slapping, grabbing or poking her breasts or genitals*
  • forcing sex when she's sick, after childbirth or surgery*
  • sleeping around
  • knowingly transmitting sexual diseases
  • treating her as a sex object
  • being rough
  • pressuring her to pose for pornographic photos
  • displaying pornography that makes her feel uncomfortable
  • using sex as a basis for an argument
  • using sex as a solution for an argument
  • criticizing her sexual ability
  • unwanted fondling in public
  • purposely not washing and expecting sex
  • name calling (whore, slut, frigid, bitch)
  • accusations of affairs
  • degrading her body parts
  • sexual jokes
  • sexual comments in public
  • demanding sex for alcohol or drugs
  • demanding sex as payment or trade
  • administering drugs or alcohol for sexual advantage
  • insisting on checking her body for sexual contact

  Religious abuse

  • using religion to justify abuse or dominance
  • using church position to pressure for sex or favours
  • using her, then demanding forgiveness
  • giving higher priority to religion and religious activities above family or couple activities
  • excessive spending on religion
  • interpreting religion to his advantage and/or her disadvantage
  • preventing her from attending church
  • requiring sex acts or drug use as religious acts
  • mocking her beliefs
• 
  39

  Oops I did it again. Another mistake

  by KariOtt in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so it seems i made another mistake.

  i expressed negative feelings to my hubby.

  i'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Scully

  By the way, if it wasn't a Disfellowshipping Offense™ for your husband to attend another church, then why wasn't he there to support you on your special day?
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  39

  Oops I did it again. Another mistake

  by KariOtt in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so it seems i made another mistake.

  i expressed negative feelings to my hubby.

  i'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Scully

  The Elders' Manual™ called Pay Attention to Yourselves and All the Flock (1991 edition), on page 91 defines Apostasy this way:

  Apostasy
  Apostasy is a standing away from, a falling away, defection, rebellion, abandonment ; it involves teaching false doctrines, supporting or promoting false religion and its holidays or interfaith activities. (Deut . 13 :13, 15 ; Josh. 22 :22, ftn . ; Acts 21 :21, ftn. ; 2 Cor. 6 :14, 15, 17, 18 ; 2 John 7, 9, 10 ; Rev . 18 :4)

  Attending another church to witness someone's baptism into that church would be construed as "supporting ... false religion" and "interfaith activity". It would be considered an act of Apostasy™, and would be considered a Disfellowshipping Offense™.

  It also applies to weddings, christenings, funerals, and other rites of passage that take place in a house of worship.
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  39

  Oops I did it again. Another mistake

  by KariOtt in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so it seems i made another mistake.

  i expressed negative feelings to my hubby.

  i'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Scully

  You are being abused. You have the right to your opinion. You have the right to express your opinion. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise or punishes you for your free expressions is abusive.

  Ask them if what you posted was true or false. You know it's true. They know it's true. Why are they so afraid of other people knowing the truth about what they believe?? Don't let them get away with saying it was "disrespectful" - it's the truth. It is what it is, there's no disrespect in truth. Perhaps they cannot tolerate having the truth about them known on a public forum such as Facebook.

  I wouldn't have deleted my Facebook account over them. I would have unfriended or blocked them instead, so you can be free to speak your opinion without reprisal.

  And one other thing - I would cancel the Bible Study™ with the Elder™ and his Pioneer™ wife. There needs to be some consequences for the way they are mistreating you.
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  53

  Do you make your own soup?

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  greetings, soup lovers:.

  i have a huge kitchen at my disposal (not my own); vegetables, cans of this and that and spices are scattered about, prepared to go into a cauldron of minestrone i started a few days ago.

  i'm preparing ahead so as to freeze the leftovers to heat up later at home over my hotplate.. nothing like a 6-burner gas range to simmer over!.

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  Scully

  So, CoCo, I was thinking about you yesterday while I was making a pot of chicken stock for meatball and kale soup.

  I was wondering if you have a crock pot - it would be really a great tool for you to make a nice chicken (with some veg and potatoes) for a weekend dinner, then you could put the carcass and a couple of carrots, celery stalks and onions in the crock pot with some water to make your stock overnight, and then use it to make soup the following day. Your room would be filled with a wonderful aroma, and your fridge / freezer would have the best homemade soup in town in it. If I could pick one small appliance to have, it would be a crock pot... you can make just about anything in one.
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  29

  Watchtower Farms Cemetery

  by Gorbatchov in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  did someone post this already?.

  the list of the watchtower farms cementery.... http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gsr&gscid=2403939.

  gorby.

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  Scully

  This is the kind of thing that needs to be compiled for every JW and child of JWs who died for lack of a blood transfusion. As well as people who committed suicide after being DFd from the JWs.
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  22

  WTF... JW Library ranks #4 in the Top (Free) Charts on Apple Store for iPhone/iPad

  by undercover in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  checking out the apple store for any new cool apps, and lo and behold!

  i see that the wts has finally embraced that demonic form of information dispensing.

  and all jah's chil'ren are snapping it up.

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  Scully

  I noticed the picture of the Babylonian statue representing the World Powers™ still clings to 607 BCE as the date of Jerusalem's destruction.

  
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  13

  Hubby gave me my cross and chain

  by KariOtt in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we got home earlier today from celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary.

  we had a blast.

  walked aroung gatlinberg.

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  Scully

  That was a lovely surprise. I'm very happy for you, but I hope you don't have to wait another year for a kind gesture from him, especially after he took such a dump all over you in the beginning of this episode.
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  55

  BUM WITNESSES

  by The Searcher in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  can anyone save me the stress of listening to the self-appointed faithful & discreet slave for 3 hours, and give a clue as to roughly at what point in the proceedings was the derogatory term 'bum witnesses used, and by whom?

  i'd really love to extract that comment and send it to a weakening witness, to highlight the judgmental arrogance and name-calling being displayed.. many thanks in advance folks!.

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  Scully

  Let's keep things on topic, please.

  Stand for Pure Worship, please don't derail the thread. If you wish to discuss your belief in "1975 self-victims" please start a new thread.