was just wondering how many gay exjw's were on this site, and how did you deal with being in this organization?
and also, how did you end up leaving?.
Wow TrappedInJWLand - so many great comments on here - hope you can now feel at least a little comforted that you are not alone in this!
(PS to Mouthy - thanks and so pleased for your granddaughter. How cool that she has you as a grandma! And HeartofABoy, yes I guess most of our stories are fundamentally the same! Warm hug to you.)
anyone who has awakened to ttatt and conscientiously left the organization--especially a once-prominent individual from a prominent multi-generational tribe of jws-- after decades of devout, high-profile "serve-us," who continues to put in an annual appearance at the memorial thoroughly subverts and undermines, by this one act, any hope s/he may entertain that his/her departure will stir family or former friends to question the whole watchtower bamboozle.
by this one concession s/he assigns him-/herself by every single jw to their handy and dimissive purgatory: the "spiritually-weak.".
nothing blasts a louder, clearer, and more deliberate message to the jws who personally knew you and those familiar with your jw bona fides that you are not merely "not making the meetings" or "spiritually-weak" but that there is a conscientious reason you have rejected the entire watchtower society life than choosing to forego what they know you know to be their one-and-only holy and sacred event of the year, the lord's evening meal.
Amnesiano
Couldnt agree with you more. That's why i didn't attend this year and incidentally why i also won't be going to the district (international) convention this year. Both firsts for me. Thanks for your post.
was just wondering how many gay exjw's were on this site, and how did you deal with being in this organization?
and also, how did you end up leaving?.
Hey Trapped and welcome. Yes another one here.
Here's my story up to the beginning of my fade, if it's of interest/help (it's a bit long but it helped me no end to get it all out there!). The only update being that I haven't been to the meetings for a year.
To answer your questions:
(1) It was a nightmare towards the end from an emotional health perspective. I only found happiness once I left and became authentic - not just talking about my sexuality here, but just about my beliefs in general - e.g.shunning.
(2) I built up my friendships outside of the congregation and made a transition. Gradually spending more and more time with my "worldly" friends. I have been very lucky, I think, and I have never been short of support from my non-JW friends. I also have very good historical friends both straight and gay who have are ex-JW (my best friend is gay and faded before I did, though he is still mentally in unfortunately) and I also connected with an ex-JW LGBT support group - all lovely people. Let me know if you need any more information. I know it's not easy so let me know if you need any more information.
Sending big hugs your way
my first year after more than 20 years.... it seems strange.
happy fellings but at the same times feeling some loniness.. is your first one as well?.
veterans: how do you feel after some many years?.
First one I've missed ever. the only thing that bothers me is when my mum asks if I went. always hated the event itself so no love lost there.
i remember those long distant days when I used to get PMs...it's a sign of the last days that I don't get any anymore. the love of the greater number of apostates is cooling off hehe ;)
5 judicial committees, one public reproof. not disfellowshipped.
something happened this week to make me think about this again.. it feels like all bets are off and i really don't know what a good person is anymore.. when i left the jws i was so sure i knew what it meant to be a good person.. this has been revised many times since.. i tend to favour the utilitarian approach, the greatest happiness for the greatest number of people.. sometimes you have to stick your neck out and say this is not good for me no matter what others may feel they need from me.. no idea where i'm going with this maybe this is a breakthrough in my life or maybe that glass of wine was stronger than i thought!.
any thoughts?.
I am so good, I'm much better than you 'orrible lot. AND I'm the most humble person in the world, I'll have you know...
this is an offshoot from the jws then and now thread...it made me wonder what exactly people find attractive about the cult today?
why are they joining?
any thoughts?.
What Magwitch said
And yes it does seem to tick all the boxes for "ready" answers until and if further proper research undertaken.
after leaving the cult of jw's or waking up to ttatt, it is a struggle to trust people again.
i am personally starting from scratch although i am still in.
each moment i spend with my current jw friends, i know they are all smiles and loving towards me because of my good status with the wt.. outside a cult you still find fake people and it is also a struggle to find true friends and it is even worst when we've been hit hard from people we used to trust and care for.. .
I don't know whether it's just the area I live in but I really feel as though I have found some really genuine friends now - much more so than when I was going to meetings. Most of my current friendships have been formed at work with colleagues past and present. It has surprised me because I have always considered myself quite a boring person lol. As others have said, if we are ourselves and comfortable being ourselves - some people will like us for who we are. but the cliche that says if we want to have good friends we have to be a good friend is true. Because I don't feel I have much to say, I often find myself asking other people questions about themselves or whatever interests them (not in a nosey way) and I find people generally like talking about themselves especially if we remember little things they have said to us.
Usually friendships are inititiated through common interests and being open to meeting new people (e.g the friends of our new friends).
It doesn't happen over night - good luck and...enjoy the experience of finding new friends! :) x
introduction to the faith.
ive been a lurker for many years now, and recently created an account to post comments.
someone suggested i should introduce myself and tell my story.
Welcome AK!
Great that you're here.
x
