since we are listing the best 3 things in life, i thought it would be interesting to list 3 things that you did and regret or things that are/were the worst in your life.
1. lack of friends growing up a jw; there just were not any.
no one liked jw's.
Never being truely loved for myself by a man.
I can relate to that feeling. It brings to mind a "joke" (if you could call it that) that I heard Wendy Liedman (stand up comedian) tell. That a man meets a woman and spends his whole marriage trying to change her into something that he wants her to be, and then when he has smothered every bit of her true self out of her, he begins to complain, "What ever happened to that woman I married?"
Sadie
watchtower.
bible and tract society of new york, inc.. writing department phone (718) 625-3600.
25 columbia heights, brooklyn, new york 11201-2483, u.sa.
...give me a break the sun does not rise and set to people thinking about JW's.
LMAO. But they seem to think it does.
This letter is a good example of how they tell you that you can't do something but at the same time tell you that you can:
A well-trimmed beard in itself would not preclude one from be-ing in the Theocratic Ministry School, sharing in the ministry, or being baptized as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Nor should a Chris-tian be shunned simply for wearing a beard since this is not con-sidered as being disorderly in one's conduct...ALSO...At the same time, on matters of grooming, we do agree that this should be left to an individual's personal decision
While not condemning a person who chooses a certain style of dress and grooming that does not conflict with Bible principles, when it comes to one being considered for special privileges in the congregation, we feel an obligation to leave this with the local body of elders, who are able to assess better how the matter is viewed locally...ALSO...While a certain style of grooming, such as wearing a beard, does not prevent a person from being valued as one of Jehovah's servants in the Christian congregation, it may have some effect on the extent he can be used for additional privileges, depending on the local sen-timent.
To be honest, I always felt that their apparrel was intimidating. Someone shows up at your door with a suit on and you're standing there in a pair of cut-off shorts (that were once jeans) and a tank top. Makes you feel kind of small. Perhaps, it's because the church I attended prior to meeting the JWs was extremely lax in their attire. We wore jeans on Sun nite and sometimes shorts to the Youth meetings on Weds. I think they'd do better to show up on people's doorsteps dressed like normal people dress.
If they are so concerned about "not offending" people or "distracting from their message", then they really should consider the fact that "most" people assume that someone who shows up at their door, wearing a suit and tie is most likely a salesman or a JW...and probably won't answer the door .
Sadie
in another thread, i stated the three best things i ever did with my life, but i thought the topic would make a good thread.. what are the three best things you did in your life?.
mine are:.
third best: divorcing my first wife.
1. Divorcing my 1st hub
2. Having my son
3. Having my daughter
Sadie
i saw a report on tv about the church of jesus chrisht of latter day saint and they have a lot in common with the jw.
they go from door to door and as the jw, they believe that they are here to save the world.
do you think that this church will become more popular while the watchtower is losing his popularity?
I was told, but am unsure of the credibility of this claim, that in the Mormon religion it is taught that women cannot enter heaven, only men. Instead a name is given to her by her husband that only he knows, and when he dies he calls upon her.
Is this true??
Sadie
since we are listing the best 3 things in life, i thought it would be interesting to list 3 things that you did and regret or things that are/were the worst in your life.
1. lack of friends growing up a jw; there just were not any.
no one liked jw's.
Things that just happened to happen to me that really sucked were:
1. The abuse I suffered at the hands of my father as a child.
2. The fact that while I was suffering this abuse by father, my mother never physically abused me, but she always treated me like I was dirt and always had an unloving, uncaring attitude towards me.
3. Nothing can never stay good for very long. Just when I think I have my life straightened out...something comes along and messes it up (at present, that "something" would be the JWs)
Things I brought upon myself that I regret are:
1. Not paying much attention in school (yes, I really regret that...I would be a genious now if I had've) and not finishing college.
2. Marrying my first husband (& quiting college to do so...he lived out of state; didn't want to commute or pay out-of-state tuition).
3. Marrying my second husband (I'm joking). Seriously, the 3rd thing would be not spending more of my life just enjoying it.
Sadie
just a few quick questions.... how did you who got out of "the truth" deal with having a spouse who is still involved?
what did you do about situations involving your children (such as holidays, birthdays, blood issue, religious upbringing, sports-ymca/karate)?.
since i am the "wife" i feel like i am in a doubly awkward position due to the "submission" issue.
Outnfree:
Fortunately, we haven't progressed to the point of going door to door. Just recently (and conveniently, might I add) they have invited my husband to begin this ministry. Ugh. Anyhow, I wasn't aware of the "rules" for converts. Thanks for the briefing. I doubt that even if they tell my husband to give a little, he won't. He's a hard head....LOL. I would've never in a million years imagined myself in this situation. And thanks for pointing the scripture out in 1 Corinth. He did pull the ole I'm responsible for the spirituality of my family bit on Sun too. But this scripture points out that the unbeliever (either sex) and the children are sanctified through the believer (which can be either sex). As if I'm not responsible for the spirituality of my kids too.
Zev: I am so glad that you have found happiness and that you have a family to whom you can go. Fortunately, we have no other family in the Borg...Thanks be to God!!!
There are decisions in life we all must face. You’ll have to face yoursI know, I know. But I feel like I'm being cornered into making a decision that I don't want to make. I just wish the word compromise was in the JW dictionary....
Nothing was harder in all of my existence in the last year, than having to tell my mother-in-law, who I love deeply, that I had left her daughter.I had to deal with this in my last marriage. I tried to avoid my ex in-laws like the plague. Then one day, I went to "our" house to get the rest of my things and his mother was there. I never had much of a relationship with my own mother and had grown very close to his. She just stood there, looking at me, crying for the longest. Then she ran to me and threw her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear, "You have left a hole in this family that will never be filled." I thought I would die.
But I survived. It's funny how some things you think, while living it, that you will never survive...one day become like a faded memories...almost like you dreamed it all.
I made all the right decisions, for the right reasons, and I’ll be able to forever live with those decisions with a clear conscience, and absolutely no regrets.Beautiful. Words of wisdom.
Sadie
i am looking for some assistance or resources on anger mangement.. i have known the truth about the truth for about a year now.. due to reasons of family i don't beleive i can make a 100% break at this time.. i seem to have a major problem getting past the anger.
i am not an angry person by nature and in the past when i have gotten angry it never lasted very long.. at times i feel that the reason i can't get past the anger is because i have not made a complete break.
i don't know if this is true since i see many here who have made the break and the anger persists.. if there is anyone here who has experienced this and has found a way to move past the intense feelings of anger without completly breaking from the borg due to family reasons and can offer some advice i would welcome it.. is it possible to get past the anger with one foot still in?
Stealth,
I have struggled with anger and bitterness for about 3-4 years now. I, too, had never had a big problem with anger (unless of course someone really bothered me) so, when I began feeling tense and nervous (because it will rack your nerves) I asked my doctor about it. This sound like lame advice but depending on your age, it could be hormonal. Try getting more exercise and more rest. Find someone with whom you feel you can talk with openly and honestly. Even someone you've never met can sometimes be a better candidate than someone you've known your whole life. I know I feel sometimes that when I get around my friends or family that I may talk it into the ground (especially when talking to folks who cannot relate). It's just I feel so alone here in my household that I really lay it on when I come in contact with someone else. It's kind of like letting the poison out of a wound. You will feel a lot better. Feel free to email me if you'd like. But if I were you, I would definitely talk to a doctor. He/she may recommend some herbs or vitamins that may help you to feel better, too.
Sadie
just a few quick questions.... how did you who got out of "the truth" deal with having a spouse who is still involved?
what did you do about situations involving your children (such as holidays, birthdays, blood issue, religious upbringing, sports-ymca/karate)?.
since i am the "wife" i feel like i am in a doubly awkward position due to the "submission" issue.
25ashitaka25: Thank you. I have been trying that. Not at first, though. When I first found out some of the things that I did, I bombarded him. And when he began to make excuses and such, then I got angry with him. Then I progressed to the point of making sarcastic remarks. I'm now to the point to where I just bring it up when I go to church. I ask if the kids can go with me...he says no...I say, why not....he gives me the spill about how they aren't teaching scriptural doctrine, how they have a pastor...who is paid by the church...yada yada....and the conversation ends there.
My husband has a friend whom he is really fond of. He thinks the world of this man and highly respects him. Since my husband will not listen to me anymore...or any of the information I get (especially since the source of most of my info are apostates), I have asked this man if he will help. He agreed. I'm hoping this will begin the process. I have a ton of material that I am going to give him to give to my husband (as he wouldn't read it coming from me). I hope and pray that he will read this material and not just trash it and that it will open his eyes.
As far as fading away, that won't be necessary. I'm not a member. I just don't show up. Of course, when they visit my house I get bombarded with questions, Have you been ok?,, Anything on your mind?, Something bothering you?, Anything you want to talk about? And I KNOW that they know that I've been consulting apostates and going to one of those eternally damned churches of Christendom. And when I do go to the KH (my hub gave a talk this past Thurs), I get eyeballed to death. And I know...all of them know too. Talk about feeling small.
Sadie
just a few quick questions.... how did you who got out of "the truth" deal with having a spouse who is still involved?
what did you do about situations involving your children (such as holidays, birthdays, blood issue, religious upbringing, sports-ymca/karate)?.
since i am the "wife" i feel like i am in a doubly awkward position due to the "submission" issue.
Julie: I'm sorry. I would hate for my marriage to end in divorce. I would hope that things could be reconciled but things are looking more and more hopeless. I've recently began attending "church" with my ma-in-law (hubs mom) and wanted to take the children. I was even willing to compromise and let him take them to the KH on Tues and Thurs and me take them w/me on Sun. He absolutely refused. Even went so far as to say, in a disgusted tone, My kids will not set foot in a church. I was shocked I suppose. We aren't baptized by the way. He is just really convinced that this is the truth. And, now...even more so....I am convinced that it is not.
My marriage isn't perfect but honestly, my husband and I get along really well. I feel like we have a good marriage and other than this issue (and 1 or 2 other minor ones) we don't really disagree about much either. Nowadays, the only time we argue, it is because of religion...or something resulting from it (holidays...my son's b-day is Feb 21).
Thanks for the advice and sorry for rambling...
DakotaRed: Your situation sounds a lot like mine...a bit more advanced though. My kids are only 5(going on 6) and 3. They really haven't formed any opinions as far as religion is concerned....yet. That is another of my concerns. I realize that your children are your step children but would your own children treat you that way if they were in the truth and you were not. The only advantage that I can see that I have is that I haven't been baptized. So, I haven't been and can't be DF'd or have to DA myself. Since I haven't been baptized, would my family be advised to shun me? I really wanted to get all of this worked out before the kids get much older....but the likelihood of that is looking very slim. I'm sorry for your situation. I, too, have been married before and lost a lot...materially and emotionally. It's not a fun thing to experience and once a lifetime is plenty.
I probably will go ahead and celebrate the birth of my son. Also, I've already purchased Valentine cards for him to give to his classmates. I just don't know how to go about it. I don't want to be conspiring behind my hubs back. But if I just out and do it right in front of my husband then it will be a literal Holy War. Oh well, I suppose I'll cross that bridge...next week...LOL.
I wish you the best and thank you for your advice!!!
Sadie
just a few quick questions.... how did you who got out of "the truth" deal with having a spouse who is still involved?
what did you do about situations involving your children (such as holidays, birthdays, blood issue, religious upbringing, sports-ymca/karate)?.
since i am the "wife" i feel like i am in a doubly awkward position due to the "submission" issue.
Thanks for the responses
Fred: I like that show too. Al was pretty cool.
Snowflake: Hi. Thanks...but I feel as if I would be defeating my purpose if I say that I am trying to do the right things (and I don't feel like the WTS is teaching the right things) then I just ignore the fact that the bible tells us that women should be in submission to their husbands. I would appear to be more of a rebel than a seeker of truth. But thank you for the suggestion, nonetheless. If in the long run, I come to my own conclusion that the bible and God are nothing more than fables...then I'll ditch the submission thing .
Waygooder64: I don't know Fred very well...so I won't comment. Thanks for stopping by.
Toddy: Hate that I missed that one. I do remember, though, an old movie with Eddie Murphy called Coming to America (I think that was the name of it) where a guy opens the door and immediately slams the door in the persons face. When asked who it was at the door, he says, "It was just some of them Jehovahs Witnesses." It was a hilarious movie, if you don't mind some filthy language...LOL.
sadie
