I agree in principle with the reasons and the overall philosophy of "whatever works". I am in the situation of a long, long fade and see my own rationalisation in much of what has been posted above.
The problem I have with myself is that I basically feel that now I am simply not being true to myself and my family. I'm not really pushing my real feelings and essentially I am being dishonest with myself and those around me. Right now it feels like a limbo and the person responsible for it is me.
For example... the other day my wife and I had a meal out and one of the courses included black pudding. I had no problem eating it yet my wife said nothing. She's not challenged me on it at all. I think she is accepts that my lack of belief in the blood policy but does not want to discuss it as it will lead on to a much larger discussion. The time and place might not have been right for us but now this is just something in the past. She's not challenging it and I'm not using it as a chance to open a conversation.
In the meantime I keep the peace with irregular meeting attendance and never upsetting the apple cart with our friends and family. Whose the fool? Whose not getting what they really want?