Posts by mentalclarity

34

Am I Overreacting Here?

by pale.emperor in

let's call him "dave".. dave: hello?.

dave: we dont have to tell you how she is.

dave: <her mother> has custody.

mentalclarity

"Im only requesting to be contacted/informed about their visits and what they'll entail".

Totally valid request - talk to the ex.

Your JW mom and stepdad sound awful. Personally, I wouldn't want my kids around people who can't be civil to me. Who knows what comment they'd say about you and your daughter is very young. And wasn't there an incident where they treated her bad too? I would probably think twice about having my young child with my family and me not present if they were disrespectful no matter what religion they were.

34

Am I Overreacting Here?

by pale.emperor in

let's call him "dave".. dave: hello?.

dave: we dont have to tell you how she is.

dave: <her mother> has custody.

mentalclarity

You need to pause and think what's going to produce the best outcome here. Don't lose your shit - if you go full court custody mode it will put your ex on the defensive and your family will probably make little effort to include your daughter in anything family related. That might be what you want, but it doesn't sound like that.

Court custody battles are long and expensive and from what I've seen, unless you're able to prove the other parent is abusive or severely negligent they won't give you 100% custody.

If your ex wife has a better relationship with your family than you do and this allows your daughter to be able to spend time with cousins - does it really matter that they didn't consult you? I mean, the child's mom made the arrangements (yes, it's your family...but the situation is really bad).

The person you should talk to is your ex and let her know you want to be aware if your daughter is going to do something with your family and get together and put ground rules for both JW grandparents/family when with your child. No mention of Jah/armageddon/bible/etc or religious topics in general. I have that rule with my JW family.

Bottom line is..do you really want your daughter to have contact with your family and what's the best way to achieve that? In an ideal world, your mom would be someone who is respectful to you(or at least while your daughter is with her). Doesn't look like she's capable of that. Are these people you want your daughter around? These are the things you might want to reflect on first.

45

Personal opinions spouted from the platform?

by purrpurr in

have you ever heard some brothers own ideas and opinions spouted from the platform?

perhaps off brand or crazy ones?

some that i've heard is:.

mentalclarity

Sideburns seem to be a popular theme in the early nineties. Elders seemed to be very concerned about how long they were and they might identify you as gay.

Shiny or Bright colored suits - same thing. This was when purple/turquoise suits were all the rage in the Spanish conventions.

Bottom line- anything that might identify you as gay was a no-no. Doesn't seem like much has changed.

20

What’s the most effective way to wake the largest amount of JW’s up?

by Farmer Jim1 in

jw
friends

what can one person do to save as many people as possible from this organisation?.

youtube videos?.

mail shots?.

mentalclarity

Whatever makes a JW take a step back and view the religion in reality (and all it's glory). You know those paintings that you look at up close and they are just paint strokes of color, but then you hold them out further and kind of squint your eyes and all of a sudden...you see a clear picture of something? That's what happens when you wake up and personally I don't think it's something that you can force someone else to see. It happens when it happens. I think it requires some distance/perspective/detachment. Most JWs get that as they get "weaker" - when you miss meetings or you associate with non jws, for example. There's a reason the organization warns against these things. It's because it provides "distance". If you step back enough you can see the ridiculousness of the religion and it's teachings.

48

2018 Convention videos leaked by brave insiders

by Room 215 in

jw
friends

anopther coup for cedars: http://jwsurvey.org/cedars-blog/leaked-2018-convention-videos-celebrate-anti-lgbtq-bigotry-unquestioning-obedience-doomsday-fear-mongering

mentalclarity

Honestly I don't really see anything "new" with these videos. It's the same stuff I was raised on. I remember when the congregation divided in my area and a needs talk was given about following the proper arrangement. Everyone pretty much went where they wanted anyways....And the whole "martyr" complex in the retail store....people are really so self absorbed and individualistic-no one is really paying attention if you're donating or receiving a bracelet.

The great thing about the videos(all the vids in general) is something I read on this forum...It gives you a clearer picture of standard JW beliefs. Sometimes when listening to a talk or hearing someone in a meeting, you could kind of convince yourself you didn't "hear" right, or that was some hardcore JWs belief. But the videos put the "standard" belief front and center. There's no disputing it. The videos are accomplishing something that we should be ecstatic about- a different perspective. A way for JWs to observe their beliefs as a third party.

When I watch the videos, I think to myself..how on earth could I have believed this stuff? How was it that all of us here really believed that Armageddon was going to come and kill everyone but us. Makes me really reflect on the dangers of just going through the motions and doing busywork without really "thinking". I will never do that again.

180

Languages, Dialects, Accents

by LoveUniHateExams in

jw
friends

just though i'd start a thread devoted to languages, dialects/sociolects and accents, with the idea being that posters can comment on any language, or dialect or accent of any language, on this thread.. any phrases, expressions or idioms that you find interesting are also welcome.

first, the subject of english accents came up on another thread.. the british isles have many different types of accent (although many of the dialects may be dying out), and if i start to take a closer look, i can't help but see 'patterns' .... in received pronunciation of standard english, the letter r is pronounced initially, between vowels, and after consonants, e.g.

red, arrow, break.

mentalclarity

@LoveUniHateExams That's so cool you're learning Arabic. I know a few people that were studying it in school. It's certainly not an easy language to learn, but there's a "critical" need for it and there's funding available in the US for those who want to study: http://www.clscholarship.org/news/2017/announcing-the-2018-cls-application

Have you ever watched the PBS program, Do You Speak American? It's a documentary about the different variations of English across the USA. Really interesting....

17

Celebrations?

by Freedom rocks in

does anyone celebrate valentines day since leaving the borg?

and which other celebrations if any do you now take part in?.

mentalclarity

Celebrate everything pretty much. Any excuse is good for me to get together with friends and enjoy life. I kind of find Valentines a bit cliché, but still enjoy a nice evening out. Used to really like St Patrick's day, went to a local brewery for Burns night not long ago. Seriously, I'm all about celebrating!

17

Tattoos?

by Wild_Thing in

jw
friends

if seems to be quite fashionable nowadays for ex-jws to get a tattoo or a series of tattoos to symbolize either their time spent in the watchtower or their escape, and i kind of don't get it.

i don't understand why someone would want a constant reminder on their body of such a horrible period in their life.

on another forum, one woman shared that she was getting 25 bees tattooed all over her body to represent the 25 years she spent in the org.

mentalclarity

I don't understand it either, but, you know, to each his own.

On the other hand I've been dying to get a cross to wear around my neck and parade it around....

4

Porter Resignation: Spousal Abuse: Mormons = JWs?

by Joe Grundy in

reading the reports of porter's (alleged?

) physical abuse of his ex-wives, i was struck by a few things:.

- abuse was reported to (mormon) church leaders.

mentalclarity

Things that happen with the Mormons always remind me alot of JWs. I think they are our "close cousins", much more than Scientologists.

I personally know of a few cases very similar to this where a wife suffered spousal abuse for decades and was told by elders to be more "submissive". And, there was alot of emphasis on how it would look if people knew a JW elder was beating his wife and kids. I have no idea how things are handled now.

The whole concept of not bringing reproach on Jah or the organization is the main reason JWs don't go to the authorities on several issues (child abuse/domestic violence/shady business dealings/etc) There's seems to be no separation of church and state when it comes to JWs. The elders are treated as the ultimate authority.

16

Session #8: "Bullet in the Head"

by Brian J in

so at the phd today with my wife and me, and in slowly getting to the heart of matters (like peeling an onion if you ask me), the dialogue in part went like this: .

phd: if it came down to it, would you take a bullet in the head instead of giving up membership in your organization?

wife: absolutely, i would die for my faith.

mentalclarity

I feel like the way you worded this kind of set you up for failure. I mean, as a born in I was fed countless experiences from the platform and articles from magazines that glorified witnesses who died for not renouncing being a JW. Think of all those concentration camp experiences, etc. Of course she's going to take a bullet rather than renounce being a JW. For a JW who is still in there is no separation of God/faith/organization. It's one big meshed mess. It took me a very long time to separate these things.

It's a reason of pride and what JWs have been prepared for since birth basically to die for their religion.