Darknight, I'm so sorry for your losses. Having lost a baby myself I know the deep pain it brings. My husband was an elder at the time too. Although we were both fully 'in' ( he still is) I was grateful for the love and support he gave me. All I would say is if you step down, under the circumstances I don't think anyone would be surprised. My husband did step down for a while several years later because we felt it was important for our relationship that he did so. At the moment I would say that your wife needs you, rather than having to share you with the congregation. To be honest I'm sure you need each other right now, without the congregation getting in the way. Tell the other elders that you feel it's important for you and your wife at the moment to give time to each other and you can't do this while you are an elder. Once you have stepped down you will have the time and the space to work out how you are going to continue. Wishing you all the very best.
tornapart
JoinedPosts by tornapart
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44
Need advice
by Darkknight757 inhi.i've been pouring over this site for the past few days looking for some advice and i hope there is someone here that can help a guy out.
i'm desperate.....short bio: i came into the organization after high school and shortly after married a wonderful girl who was born-in.we have been happily married now for nearly 20 years and things were well until 2015 hit.
by the way, i currently serve as an elder and have the ""privilege"" of being the "watchtower overseer".. either here nor there, we were told we would never have children but late last year my wife became prego!!
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10
I'm not religious I'm spiritual?
by Joliette inhow do you guys feel when you hear people say this?
whenever i tell people that i'm not religious, a humanist, they said i'm not religious either, i'm spiritual.
i consider myself to be a humanist, and i can't tell you guys how happy i am being a humanist.
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tornapart
I agree with Oubliette and Xanthippe... to me spirituality is a deep connection with nature, beautiful things, a beautiful piece of music. Something that touches the soul and moves me. It doesn't have to be related to God or a spirit world. Spirituality is very much a personal thing. Religion is something that is forced on people and used to control them. I think they are two very different things.
JWs idea of spirituality is totally wrong. it's all about 'doing', working hard and putting on a show. Someone who goes to all the meetings, pioneers, goes to bethel, underlines their watchtower, answers at all the meetings, gives great talks, does construction work for new KHs etc... is spiritual. I can't think of anything less spiritual!
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Buddhists and Jehovah's Witnesses
by tornapart inrecently i have just started looking into what buddhism is all about.
i rather like the idea of a personal spirituality.
of trying to be a better person and an acceptance of the reality of life and trying to find an inner peace and contentment.. anyway, i came across this today.
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tornapart
Thanks for that OTWO .... I thought exactly the same as you about the JW mum.. LOL
As for embracing some of it but not all... that's how I see it. There's a lot of valuable ideas within buddhism but it doesn't mean you have to believe everything that's taught or engage in endless rituals but just to take what appeals to you individually to use in your own journey.
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Buddhists and Jehovah's Witnesses
by tornapart inrecently i have just started looking into what buddhism is all about.
i rather like the idea of a personal spirituality.
of trying to be a better person and an acceptance of the reality of life and trying to find an inner peace and contentment.. anyway, i came across this today.
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tornapart
Cappytan- Secular Buddhist... I like that
Bonsai- That really appeals to me! Sounds idyllic!
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Buddhists and Jehovah's Witnesses
by tornapart inrecently i have just started looking into what buddhism is all about.
i rather like the idea of a personal spirituality.
of trying to be a better person and an acceptance of the reality of life and trying to find an inner peace and contentment.. anyway, i came across this today.
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tornapart
Kate, yes I agree and there's no way I want to get into any of that. I'm just interested in the philosophical and ethical side of it.
I believe spirituality is very much a personal thing, and I don't mean as to whether someone believes in the existence of God/gods or not but from purely how one feels connected to the world and the universe and everything and everyone in it and being able to find an inner peace and contentment which after being ripped to shreds by a high control religion, we all need to find in our own way.
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Buddhists and Jehovah's Witnesses
by tornapart inrecently i have just started looking into what buddhism is all about.
i rather like the idea of a personal spirituality.
of trying to be a better person and an acceptance of the reality of life and trying to find an inner peace and contentment.. anyway, i came across this today.
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tornapart
Thanks Rebel. yes I'll do that... and that's a great quote! -
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Buddhists and Jehovah's Witnesses
by tornapart inrecently i have just started looking into what buddhism is all about.
i rather like the idea of a personal spirituality.
of trying to be a better person and an acceptance of the reality of life and trying to find an inner peace and contentment.. anyway, i came across this today.
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tornapart
Recently I have just started looking into what Buddhism is all about. I rather like the idea of a personal spirituality. Of trying to be a better person and an acceptance of the reality of life and trying to find an inner peace and contentment.
Anyway, I came across this today. A buddhist who met his girlfriend's mother who happened to be a JW. It wasn't so much his account that interested me as the comments afterwards.
Also, I wonder has anyone else dabbled with the idea of buddhism? Not as a replacement theology but as wanting to be a more contented person.
anyway, here's the link....
http://newbuddhist.com/discussion/13260/an-evening-with-a-jehovahs-witness
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71
Doing the Right Thing, Making a Choice (shunning)
by Simon incontinuing a topic that is dear to my heart because of my experience as both a shunner and a shunnee .... some people seem to get very agitated when i talk about the responsibility people have to make the right choices and that despite all the wrongs within the wts, people themselves have a role to play and some personal responsibility for the experience.. notice i said "some" responsibility, not "complete" - this doesn't absolve the wts for the things they do wrong in any way shape or form.
so please don't get argumentative about possible meanings and absolutes - of course the wts has a significant role to play but we need to decide what we're trying to achieve here and why the personal choice is so important.. i'm also not talking about actual crimes that the wts should answer for.
if they cover up child abuse for instance, they absolutely should be reported immediately.
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tornapart
Nicolau:- It's no defence to say God and/or his representatives must be obeyed, obedience is a choice
The thing is they believe that if they don't obey God they will die at Armageddon and lose out on everlasting life.... the big stick and the big carrot. In their eyes it's not much of a choice. We can see straight through it but they have been brainwashed.
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71
Doing the Right Thing, Making a Choice (shunning)
by Simon incontinuing a topic that is dear to my heart because of my experience as both a shunner and a shunnee .... some people seem to get very agitated when i talk about the responsibility people have to make the right choices and that despite all the wrongs within the wts, people themselves have a role to play and some personal responsibility for the experience.. notice i said "some" responsibility, not "complete" - this doesn't absolve the wts for the things they do wrong in any way shape or form.
so please don't get argumentative about possible meanings and absolutes - of course the wts has a significant role to play but we need to decide what we're trying to achieve here and why the personal choice is so important.. i'm also not talking about actual crimes that the wts should answer for.
if they cover up child abuse for instance, they absolutely should be reported immediately.
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tornapart
I think it depends on how much the individual believes that the shunning rule comes from God or not. How they perceive the GB and elders... do they speak from God and therefore should be obeyed. Or are they just imperfect men and we should follow what we believe ourselves to be right or not.
I've seen it in my own family, those that question what the elders say and do and are quite critical of them and their processes don't shun their df'ed family members. The ones that believe God is working through the elders, then they must be obeyed, as disobeying them is tantamount to disobeying God.
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43
So sick of the abuse...
by iwasblind ini am still serving as an elder but just hanging in there.
i think their quandry is that they don't see me out in the field, but when they need encouragement and decent prayer they come to me.. i just got off the phone to this poor sister who i have only met twice.
she is not even in my congregation (her sister is).
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tornapart
What a shame there are not many elders like you iwasblind, that's why they come to you for empathy and kindness and understanding they get nowhere else. But you have to think about what is important for you, it's hard to maintain a front, you can end up losing your own identity.
I hope you can find a way forward, and maybe make those who come to you feel the love you are showing them so that when you are gone they will wonder why and be able to make their own way out.
Really hope it all works out well for you!!