Posts by LyinEyes

25

Dan Brown DID NOT write "The Da Vinci Code"! [ VICTORY FOR CHRISTIANS !!! ]

by danbrownfraud in

(i) they are to ask god, through jesus christ, for the truth on these matters.

amen".

Our friend PUTERNUT has died

by Nathan Natas in

jw
friends

.

thanks princess for helping us remember ari's screen name.. the "sad news from maui" thread is here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/107021/1.ashx

Denny woke me this morning with this news and I feel so sad for Puternut, he always made me laugh. I knew he missed his family but was hoping that life would turn around on that. Wasn't he and Gumby good friends? I know he must be hurting as well.

Mouthy, you said alot that organization the WTBS, has taken so many lives, including my Mom and my sister. It was in a more indirect way with my sister but she never felt she was good enough, or loved enough and did not have the tools to deal with real life on the outside. She never was like me, trying to dig into the ugly side of the WT and hate them . I wish she would have realized how much of her life had been directly effected by the WT, not just the religious part but the emotional neglect that it left for so many of us.

I sure hope that Puternut is on that other side, free of all of his pain and maybe he can see things in a different perspective now , I hope that for my sister as well.

Blondie said what I told someone yesterday,,,,,,." Sometimes, sad things happen in our life all at once and overwhelm us for the moment, but when that moment is one of self hurt, a moment not easily taken back. "
Blondie

I am so sorry Puternut and you will be missed .

With a heavy heart, Denny and Dede

105

My sister Robin RIP Mar. 26, 1963 - Nov. 7, 2005

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

i just got some news and am still shaking.

my sister died today.

i hardly knew her .

LyinEyes

Lee, hugs,,,,,,,to you,,,,,I am sorry for your loss, I didnt even know about your sister until I posted the loss of my sister.

The pictures you posted made me cry. How innocent we all looked back then huh? I am going thru the part of grief right now, where I blame myself even thou I know I did everything I could and even more. I know that , but ya know what I mean? I wish I would have been able to make her demons go away just like you did with your sister. When we lose a sister it seems like we lose a part of ourselves, it is hard to explain but I think you know what I mean.

I just want to hold you Lee, to let you know I love you and I admire you and I am sorry for your loss, I am sorry for not finding out about this when it happened. But ya know how life is , it gets to going so fast you don't realize how long it has been since you talked to friends here.

It has been 31 days since my sister died and I have yet to finish the thank you cards , and I am just beginning to come back to the board here.

How are you doing now? Do you feel she is at peace? I hope that you have peace Lady Lee, and I know this is all so fresh and still painful for you, just know that I understand and I will be thinking of you.

Love ya, Dede

27

2 Deaths in 2 weeks...gawd I hate this.

by wanderlustguy in

jw
friends

my 1st cousin and friend died yesterday.

she was a good friend to me and i beleive loved me unconditionally.

back when she and her family were df'ed i shunned them to a degree and regretted it lately.

LyinEyes

Donnie, I know what you mean about laughing at times too, and then wanting to smash something , to make it feel as bad as I do.

Amber and I talked and she too has this rage and anger over all of this. I let her smash my empty beer bottles agaisnt an old brick wall last night and it helped she said.

I have such anger and towards one person in particular and I hope I don't cross paths with him anytime soon. Even thou, Ginger hurt us in what she did, you have to know that she really was just as sick as Donna, just in another way. Even thou Donna most likely wanted to live so very badly, Ginger was so very tired. She wanted to live but couldnt get over her pain. I know she didnt want to just die, she wanted to be happy and that seemed to elude her for reasons she couldnt figure out.

If only she could have held out another day, maybe it would have been better for her. She was very physically tired that weekend and had just gotten over being sick. Add that to the fact she was taking two different antidepressants and there is no telling what she was thinking. I do know when you get so depressed you can something REALLy believe that everyone would be better off without you and that they will go on, they just can't see the future , they can only feel the pain of each second and that torments the mind and begs for relief. I hope you can understand that is what I think happened to my sister. It is so very sad, such a waste, senseless ........yes......but I understand , hopefully I never understand to the full because if I ever feel I can totally identify with her and my mom then I might be in the same place and I don't want to go there ever again.

I am sure thou that she acted on something that was always on her mind. When Mama did this very thing , it left us with always wanting to understand why,,,,,,,,and that , suicide is a way out. I have fought those feelings myself. I have had very black days. I am glad I held on until the next day and when the sun came up , I felt differently. I know , I swear I know this..........if she could she would take this back. I am sure that she just got in a dark black place and was so tired and for that I do understand.

I just know that if Ginger could see how we are going on now with out her and how very much she was a part of so many people , she would have stayed a little longer. She honestly didnt think that she had many friends but she was so very much loved. She just couldn't see it.

I hope I havent upset you Donnie, but I have to tell you how I feel about all of this and I can only guess , IMO an educated guess as to what my sister was thinking to the best degree I can.

Look forward to seeing you and if you want , we can go see Ginger when you get down this way and take her some flowers or a little frog figurine or something,,,,,,,that is up to you.

Love ya , Dede

70

Sad!

by hibiscusfire in

you all making me very sad and depressed.

my heart is aching really bad.

tears are right there.. hibie

LyinEyes

Hi Hibie, I too was a closet hiding kid, maybe it was a JW thang huh? I used to have my own little world in my closet. Thank goodness I don't hide there anymore. I cried myself to sleep last nite,,,,feel better for doing it as I needed too. But darn the puffy eyes this morning!

Hibie, I don't know if you know this but I had to bury my "baby" sister two weeks ago. I feel like I have a hole in my heart the size of Texas.

The way that I am getting thru this is by putting things in perspective. I have lost the wonderful sister of mine, and no one will ever take her place. What keeps me from wanting to go and be with her and my Mother is that I do love life , and I have soooooo many other people who I love just as much , even more than I loved her. I have my three children, her daughter Amber to raise now and my soul mate Denny. I am not alone and there is still alot of living to do on this side and I plan on making the best of it even if Ginger, my sister checked out a little early. I hope to have a strong belief one day that she is with me, or in a better place, but I am at this point in my life not sure where she is. I hope thou.

When you feel like someone has been mean , hateful even evil to you Hibie, ask yourself......for the one or two who were horrible to me,,,,,,how many more were good to me and care about me? I bet you will see that the good folks outweight the bad ones.

I had a talk with one of my best friends last nite, a gay guy who is having a hard time thinking he is so alone. And he is in this little country town, full of country people and a bunch of narrow minded rednecks. As we sat at our little bar he found out he had more friends who had his back than he even knew. There was a guy who tried to start a fight with him NewYears and there was about 3 guys , including my hubby who threw the guy out the door and would have whooped his hind if he wouldnt have took off running.

Well, my friend found out that even more ones saw it and joined in on getting rid of that loser. My friend was feeling really down yesterday and really alone,,,,,,,,until he took another look at who does love and care about him.

Sometimes we just have to turn the picture a different way to see what everyone eles sees.

If ya need to talk , please send me a pm and I will listen.

Hugs to you, Dede

27

2 Deaths in 2 weeks...gawd I hate this.

by wanderlustguy in

jw
friends

my 1st cousin and friend died yesterday.

she was a good friend to me and i beleive loved me unconditionally.

back when she and her family were df'ed i shunned them to a degree and regretted it lately.

LyinEyes

I am so sorry you have lost another Donnie.

I just erased a couple of paragraphs Donnie, some things are sad enough but when you write them out they seems even worse yaknow. Next time ya come to town let us know, we are going to shreveport tonite, if you are in town call the house.

My Dad calls me every other day now, and he talks about the resurrection hope and I think he thinks I still believe that. At this point I would love to believe that again, or to believe in a heavenly hope for Ginger, but I just don't believe anything. BUT........my saving grace is that I think anything is possible. Maybe , there is a plan for for us when we pass on from this life, maybe not. I would feel better believng that Ginger is already in Heaven with Mama, than to be like my Dad thinking she is just gone for now waiting on a resurrection here on earth. He thinks that is a comfort but it is not to me and never was. The JW resurrection hope kept me going for years, when I believed I would see Mama again , so that part was a comfort, but it still hurt that she was non exsistant. I have a freakin' hard time understanding the soul and how we can be alive and the next minute we are dead and gone. I still have a long way to go to find my own belief system, I hope I can feel someday that there is more to us than just this life. I may not ever know but hoping gives me courage to face this.

I hope you are doing ok Donnie, I know this has been so hard on you too. We have to keep her memory alive by talking about her and remembering the person she really was that so many never really understood. I hope that one day you will see your cousin again and we all are celebrating with our loved ones again. It just seems to wonderful to really be true,,,,,but I have been known to believe in fairy tales a time or two......lol. But here's to hope and many wishes..........love ya Brother, Dede

27

2 Deaths in 2 weeks...gawd I hate this.

by wanderlustguy in

jw
friends

my 1st cousin and friend died yesterday.

she was a good friend to me and i beleive loved me unconditionally.

back when she and her family were df'ed i shunned them to a degree and regretted it lately.

LyinEyes

I am so sorry you have lost another Donnie.

I just erased a couple of paragraphs Donnie, some things are sad enough but when you write them out they seems even worse yaknow. Next time ya come to town let us know, we are going to shreveport tonite, if you are in town call the house.

My Dad calls me every other day now, and he talks about the resurrection hope and I think he thinks I still believe that. At this point I would love to believe that again, or to believe in a heavenly hope for Ginger, but I just don't believe anything. BUT........my saving grace is that I think anything is possible. Maybe , there is a plan for for us when we pass on from this life, maybe not. I would feel better believng that Ginger is already in Heaven with Mama, than to be like my Dad thinking she is just gone for now waiting on a resurrection here on earth. He thinks that is a comfort but it is not to me and never was. The JW resurrection hope kept me going for years, when I believed I would see Mama again , so that part was a comfort, but it still hurt that she was non exsistant. I have a freakin' hard time understanding the soul and how we can be alive and the next minute we are dead and gone. I still have a long way to go to find my own belief system, I hope I can feel someday that there is more to us than just this life. I may not ever know but hoping gives me courage to face this.

I hope you are doing ok Donnie, I know this has been so hard on you too. We have to keep her memory alive by talking about her and remembering the person she really was that so many never really understood. I hope that one day you will see your cousin again and we all are celebrating with our loved ones again. It just seems to wonderful to really be true,,,,,but I have been known to believe in fairy tales a time or two......lol. But here's to hope and many wishes..........love ya Brother, Dede

27

2 Deaths in 2 weeks...gawd I hate this.

by wanderlustguy in

jw
friends

my 1st cousin and friend died yesterday.

she was a good friend to me and i beleive loved me unconditionally.

back when she and her family were df'ed i shunned them to a degree and regretted it lately.

LyinEyes

I am so sorry for yet another loss Donnie.

85

Another great loss in my life..I hesitate to post this ,,

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

[edited: links have been removed from this post.].

i hestitated to write this on xmas day and i hate to get anyone down, but i hope you understand and maybe send prayers my way.. .

dear friends i don't know how to even put my pain in words, or my great loss.

LyinEyes

You are so right Little Toe, as the days go by ,and it gets quiter around here my mind is tortured even more, so good hugs do help.

I have a great family here , at least 10 kids at any given time, friends dropping by, family, phone calls etc. and it gets me thru this.

I have Amber and I see so much of her Mama in her that she takes my breath away when she catches me off guard. For a moment I think Ginger is standing there in her robe wanting to sit in the bed with me and talk.

This kind of death was not easy when I went thru it with my Mom, but I only knew her for 18 years. Ginger and I were soul sisters for sure and we have been together for 35 years. We talked almost daily and the empty feeling I feel hurts so bad that my mind wants me to pretend that she is just gone on one of her little escapes and I am watching Amber for her until she returns. I guess I am more in shock that she is really gone now than I was the first week.

I prayed last night,,,,,,,asking for faith, asking for a sign, asking mostly for comfort to help me get thru this. I want to know that she is in Heaven but my doubting mind makes it so hard to trust that could even be true.

I know time will help me to understand more and I have an open mind so I have to wait and see what things I will learn from this tragic mess.

Thank you all for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers and know that I think of you so much and you have been such a strength to me .

Hugs and love, Dede

12

Thank you all, I love you!!!

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

so many of you have touched my heart by reaching out to me in this sad and lost time i am going thru.

losing my sister , in this way is what i have been so afraid of for so long.

it is unreal to watch the past repeat itself and to feel helpless after all is said and done , although i know i did all i could.

LyinEyes

So many of you have touched my heart by reaching out to me in this sad and lost time I am going thru. Losing my sister , in this way is what I have been so afraid of for so long. It is unreal to watch the past repeat itself and to feel helpless after all is said and done , although I know I did all I could. It was a job that I took on long ago,,,,,watching out for Ginger ,, and even in death I will be trying to protect her name, who she was so that everyone knows the real Ginger , not just the sad person she could no longer bear to be.

These days are going to be hard but knowing I have all of you in my corner , REALLY , REALLY.......does help. So many of you that said " words are not enough, or I can't find words", and I tell you it means alot to me that you are feeling my pain and that somethings in life leave us speechless and all we can do is say, "I'm here for you",,,,,,and ya'll have done that for me.

On behalf of Denny, me and Ginger........we Thank You for being our friends.

In time I hope to reply to each of you to tell you how much you have helped me thru the years and especially now.

I love you all,,,,,,,,Dede

P.S. Later I will share how this tragedy, brought my Dad and me back together, to forget the past , to forgive and to accept each other no matter what our religion is or lack of religion. Life is short and I am thankful that Ginger and I didnt have bad blood between us, there really wasnt one thing that we didnt need to correct between us. It has been the one thing I can feel good about, that she and I were peas and carrots,,,,lol, and there are no regrets of ..."I should have told her", because I told her everyday I loved her and she told me. I encourage all to find that in your hearts, mend the things you can, and remember how fragile life is. Hugsssss to you all.