Posts by larc

I won't go further because the others are serious about the changes in their life. However, if you want to see my latest brand of humor go to the Heresy of the Month. It has been much fun.

On a more serious note, I found two people at another place who were looking for help and I sent them here and both are very grateful. Makes me feel real good.

Oh, heck I can't leave yet. I want to get Satan Today and I am going to start a magazine myself, as a counter point the Awake. I'm going to call it Asleep. On the mast head it will say "I don't what what happened I was Asleep at the time." One of the major articles in the first issue will be "I didn't know Armagedden happened I was asleep at the time." Another article will be about how to sleep your way through the pioneering experience. Also, how to use Bush's fuzzy math when you turn in time. On this subject, I will be interviewing you in order to get discernment regarding your time at the coffee shop. One other good subject I want to address in my first issue, is, how to sleep through a meeting with your eyes wide open. I may follow this up with a special training seminar.

Well, I think I went too far. Just let the other folks know we a been doin right fine since we all turned up and left.

Sorry Simon and others. I'm not making fun of your serious comments. I thought they were very well put.

33

favorite bands anyone?

by peaceloveharmony in

hey-i'm just starting this somewhat cheesy thread on favorite bands.

here is my list:.

phish.

larc

Seven,

You got four and missed one and that's pretty good. I will number them.

1. Gene Vicent - You got that one.
2. With Little Richard - you got it.
3. The Day the Music died?
4. The Elvis Back up band
5. Why the Crickets - you missed it.
6. Who named Rock and Roll?
7. Carl Perkins song before Elvis?
8. Early Elvis - you got it
9. Two first Elvis hits
10. Jerry Lee's Cousin - you got it.

87

Heresy of the Month

by thinker in

heresy of the month (from a website).

don't you hate it when someone you know comes up with some new thing that you have never heard about?

you sit there in apparent ignorance as they pontificate about the proofs and merits of some idea so far beyond common knowledge that it can only be revealed by people of exceptional enlightenment such as they.

larc

Well Brothern and Cistern,

I am ready to give my first sermon on luve and respect, which I promised to you many times. This could go four or fives pages, but I'll leave out the 45 scriptures of proof and just get to the main point.

Flock,

You know the Bible sez you should luve your mommy and your pappy, in other words, your parents, but brothern and cistern I am telling you now, you must go beyond this simple instruction, you must go the extra mile to prove the depths of your luv, you must learn to love your parrots, that's right friends, love your parrots as much as you love your parents. This shows the true meaning of luve. And if your parrot's loved one dies, what should you do? After your parrot gets through the grieving, the very first thing you must do is take your parrot to "Parrots Without Partners." Hey, wouldn't your Parrot do the same thing for you?

I think with new understanding, you will never be tempted to roast you parrot at Thanksgiving, even if your parrot cusses a lot, cause you know he got that cussin from you, and killin him would be like killen part of yourself, but since you never influenced a turkey, by saying gobble, gobble, in an obscene way, they are fair game and they are going to be on the diner plate.

Well, I hope everything I have said here will bring you closer to spiritual fullness. Truely, a low calorie serman for you to digest. (If I had thrown in the 45 scriptures of proof it would have been a high calory sermom) Just remember the parable of the parrot and the turkey and in 4001 this will all mean something to somebody. I think they will call it the "Parrot Class" and the "Turkey Class"

After the song, remember to reach into those jeans for that green salad of salvation and put all you have into the collection box. Brothern and Cistern just jump and shout and turn you pockets inside out!

Next week I will be preachin from the book of Hominominies.

By the way brother Thinker, I'm a little weak on the scripture side of it so if you can find anything out about parrots and turkeys, would you send me a private e mail?

87

Heresy of the Month

by thinker in

heresy of the month (from a website).

don't you hate it when someone you know comes up with some new thing that you have never heard about?

you sit there in apparent ignorance as they pontificate about the proofs and merits of some idea so far beyond common knowledge that it can only be revealed by people of exceptional enlightenment such as they.

larc

Thinker,

I was not sure about this idea of daily baptism, until I read further that it could be a daily shower, I am already doing that with great holiness.

As cofounder, I think is proper for you to be CEO, because you were the first to understand the importance of thinness. My only aspiration is to be Treasurer.

Dear Sister Mommy - don't despair.

All your fondest dreams will be realized, and I will show you the path to glory. First, you must hire a plumber to install that oversized bath tub. Then, you need to go to a florist and get some left over pedals. After that, you should go to WallMart, KMart, or another one of those Marts and get yourself some of the bubbly stuff, some incense and some candles. Go home and arrange everything around your beautiful new tub, turn on some nice warm water, then dip yourself into that water, and call me on your cell phone, and I'll be right over ... oops ... I went too far. Don't tell anybody I said that last thing. It's hard to remain strong when you are cofounder of a new Heresy.

33

favorite bands anyone?

by peaceloveharmony in

hey-i'm just starting this somewhat cheesy thread on favorite bands.

here is my list:.

phish.

larc

A couple other things,

My kids were lucky. They had a rock and roll dad. My daughter's favorite was Jim Morrison, I heard "Come on Baby Light My Fire" so much when they were at home that I think I could lip sink it yet today.

33

favorite bands anyone?

by peaceloveharmony in

hey-i'm just starting this somewhat cheesy thread on favorite bands.

here is my list:.

phish.

larc

Everybody,

I don't know why my stuff got posted four times! Sorry, but I didn't do it, I don't think.

Now Neyank I was a lucky man,

I was in high school when it all began, Rock and Roll that is. Although everyone thought Elvis was the greatest, I could name a number of others that I thought were better, which I'm going to do. These are: Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Buddy Holly and the Crickets, Fats Domino, Jerry Lee Lewis, The Big Bopper, Richie Valense, Gene Vincent and Carl Perkins. The most awful singers of that time were Pat Boone and Ricky Nelson (his song Garden Party came later and it was pretty good.)

We had a program on TV called the Hit Parade, where they would sing the top ten songs of the week. It was pitiful. They would take Elvis's words "you ain't notin but a hound dog cryen all the time" and sing it like this "you aren't anyting but a hound dog, crying all the time."

Quiz questions for the day:

What was Gene Vincent's hit song? and even more obscure, have you ever heard of Frog Man Henry and his song "Ain't Got No Home?" It is really good.

What famous guitarist and later a singer, played in Little Richard's band?

What was the song "The day the music died" all about?

What was the name of Elvis's first back up group?

Where did Buddy Holly get the name the Crickets from?

Who either invented or made popular, the term Rock and Roll?

What song did Carl Perkins get on the charts before Elvis who sang it later?

What was the the style of music that Elvis sang before rock and roll.

What were Elvis's first two hits. They a came out at the same time, a two sided hit as they were called in those days.

What famous person was Jerry Lee Lewis's cousin?

Well, that's all I can think right now.

"I know it's only rock and roll, but I like it, like it, like it, yes I do.....yes I like it.

Or as Little Richard sang years earlier, "All around the world rock and roll is here to stay." Ah men brother Ben.

50

What should the WTBS do?!?!

by LDH in

jw
friends

well guys sorry i haven't participated much lately, i've been really busy.

but, i do have a question that i would really appreciate all of your input on.. it is no secret that young people are leaving jws faster and faster.

it is no secret that most jws are disappointed, and hurt by lack of prophecy fulfillment.. so here's what i was thinking: i'm going to post some very personal thoughts on what *i* think they need to do in order to stop the loss of almost 50,000 disfellowshipped and probably 4x that to inactivity.

larc

Do not go from door to door on Sunday mornings when half the people are in church and the other half are hung over from the party the night before. Not good time management.

50

What should the WTBS do?!?!

by LDH in

jw
friends

well guys sorry i haven't participated much lately, i've been really busy.

but, i do have a question that i would really appreciate all of your input on.. it is no secret that young people are leaving jws faster and faster.

it is no secret that most jws are disappointed, and hurt by lack of prophecy fulfillment.. so here's what i was thinking: i'm going to post some very personal thoughts on what *i* think they need to do in order to stop the loss of almost 50,000 disfellowshipped and probably 4x that to inactivity.

larc

I thought of another one,

Do not permit children in a meeting where adults are discussing sexual practices.

Waiting,

If they seriously considered the changes recommended here, they would become a main stream religion and I think that would be a good thing.

12

Thanks For The Warm Welcome

by RJB in

jw
friends

thank you one and all for the nice welcome after i posted yesterday.. i already feel like one of you.

i am so sorry as i have read some of the other posts of so many people who have been hurt in deep ways by the brothers, and although i can understand that a little, i can't understand why more effort isn't made to try to correct the situtation.

i could never undersatand why people were so concerned about going from house to house to visit someone who really doesn't want you there in the first place, and then neglect some brother or sister who whould really appreciate a friendly visit.

larc

RJB,

Something you said, not part of the main subject struck me. The fact that they spend so much time trying to bring others in and almost no time on helping their own, whether its with physical or spiritual impoverishment. I read so many stories here of people drifting away and no one comes to see them for a year, two or even three years, but as soon as they get wind of a mistake on your part they are at your door step to send you to a judicial meeting.

Oh, and another thing about women that the women talked about here, not wanting to feel they are being hit on. Don't think of a woman as a roll in the hay on the short run or a perspective mate in the long run, just think of her as another person, like your mother, sister, or aunt, unless you would like to shoot your mother, sister, or aunt, cause then it won't work.