Posts by Cicatrix

28

Which break-up song has ever spoken to you the most?

by imallgrowedup in

jw
friends

for me, it is faith hill's, "let me let go".

any other suggestions?!

i thought it was over, baby.

Cicatrix

Matchbox 20's

"Hang"-especially the first stanza:(

She grabs her magazines
She packs her things and she goes
She leaves the pictures hanging on the wall, she burns all
Her notes and she knows, she's been here too few years
To feel this old

He smokes his cigarette, he stays outside 'till it's gone
If anybody ever had a heart, he wouldn't be alone
He knows, she's been here too few years, to be gone

And we always say, it would be good to go away, someday
But if there's nothing there to make things change
If it's the same for you I'll just hang

The trouble understand, is she got reasons he don't
Funny how he couldn't see at all, 'til she grabbed up her coat
And she goes, she's been here too few years to take it all in stride
But still it's much too long, to let hurt go (you let her go)
And we always say, it would be good to go away, someday
But if there's nothing there to make things change
If it's the same for you I'll just hang
The same for you
I'll always hang
Well I always say, it would be good to go away
But if things don't work out like we think
And there's nothing there to ease this ache
But if there's nothing there to make things change
If it's the same for you, I'll just hang

5

need to vent!!

by prgirl79 in

so my ex emails me asking how i am doing and that he wrote to me a month ago he is not sure if i received it.

he sent it to two email addresses he must know i received it!!!

he has been emailing me asking me how i am since our break up.

Cicatrix

Hi Prgirl,
Sorry to hear your ex is giving you such a hard time right now. Just remember-the great thing about email is you can delete it without reading it;)

This kind of behavior is typical when a relationship that has control issues is broken off.And if there is no room for compromise in a relationship, there are major control issues. It's good that you are aware what the future would bring if you were to remain involved with this guy.Keep these things firmly in mind, as he may continue this behavior for awhile, thinking he can wear you down.Imagine what life would be like if you were married to him-in the JW faith, marriage makes him your "husbandly owner"!There is NO such thing as compromise for a wife married to a JW, in his eyes, and the eyes of his religious community (although they give lip service to it, it just doesn't happen).

It doesn't matter that he thinks what he's offering isn't so bad, what matters is whether or not you can spend the rest of your life with what he has to offer. It sounds like holidays, weddings, birthdays, and other special occasions are important to you.You deserve a guy who will be there to celebrate holidays, weddings, birthdays, and other special occasions with you, not just one who will begrudgingly "put up" with your "worldly ways," who will always be working to "bring you into the truth".You deserve a guy who won't belittle you for needing these things in your life, who loves you as you are, not as he wants you to be.

As far as his life goes, you're not responsible for that-he is. If he needs help to deal with his issues, it should be someone who is trained to help him with them, not you.Sadly, though, JWs are conditioned to mistrust everyone who is "worldly," and they are supposed to view anyone who disagrees with the theocratical view of the world as being from "Satan." This is a situation you really don't want to deal with!Just take a look at some posts here from people who are married to JWs to find out how hard it is to deal with on a day to day basis.

Take heart, though. There are lots of guys out there who have life goals that are similar to what you're looking for. Give yourself some time to heal, then try again to find someone.

Regards,
Cicatrix

7

Medical Ethics and Child Birth Rights Debate

by Xandria in

court cases revive childbirth rights debate.

i saw this article and it got me to thinking.. which can be dangerous at times.

but, this is a situation that would affect women and families terribly.

Cicatrix

When I had my first child, the staff tried to pressure me into signing papers for a cesarian. The birth was going well, baby was moving and responsive between contractions, and my contractions were strong, but the doctor and nurse were not happy with my progress (although twelve hours of labor for a first child is actually very good progress)and were concerned about the baby's heart rate (it decelerated during contractions but went back up in between them-this is normal. The nurse literally stood by my bedside with the form and yelled at me to sign it while I was having a contraction. I refused, as I could feel that things were progressing just fine. My daughter was born healthy and gorgeous less than two hours after I refused to sign the paperwork, but I was labeled a "problem patient" and treated pretty badly for the rest of my hospital stay (I get the feeling that being a couple weeks shy of eighteen didn't help me much).

Later, the doctor told me that when she had given birth two months before, she had a very rough time with it, and she was trying to "save" me from what she went through!She evidently didn't believe me when I told her I was doing fine.

The politics surrounding birth simply amazes me. One doctor insisted that I provide medical "proof" as to why I wasn't having my son circumcised ( I did). Another didn't bother to show up at the hospital until the baby was crowning, despite the fact that the nurse called him repeatedly (he's the same guy that tried to hurry placenta removal by pulling on the umbilical cord, causing me INCREDIBLE pain). My last doctor insisted that, despite the fact that my first three births had been straightforward and uncomplicated (the last two births were only four and two hours in duration), that I was going to have routine ultrasound exams,and I was to gain no more than fifteen pounds(my average gain was forty pounds, all of which I lost). I did some major research, fired him, hired a midwife (after carefully interviewing her), and had my last two children at home.Home birth isn't for everyone, but it was the best decision I ever made for myself.

17

I need advice quickly please

by alison in

about a few days ago i went to hand in my final paper at a university in manhattan.

i won't go into details about the school because i want to keep it to a certain extent personal.

there is this professor that is 38years old but he looks like he is 26 years old.

Cicatrix

"All he keeps bringing up is sex"

There you go. Are you sure you're willing to risk your relationship with someone you love for a guy whose motto is you only live once. I'll bet that's not the ONLY thing he only does once! But at least he's more direct than some guys.

53

They found out we celebrated Christmas

by Mulan in

jw
friends

i was told today that an elder in a nearby congregation has just told another elder in his congregation that he saw we celebrated christmas last year.

seems he was doing a job on our street (he's a window washer, like all good jw elders) and saw our decorations.. several things bother me about that.. 1. no one could have seen any of our decorations by driving by.

we had no lights outside.

Cicatrix

Hi Mulan,
You mean you didn't come home from doing your Christmas shopping and realize that your windows were unusually clean?;)

Why do you think there are so many window washing elders, lol. Great pretense for being able to get a peek into "fringe members'" windows to see what they are really up to, and the neighbors are none the wiser.Pretty soon they'll be washing windows in pairs so they can apply the two witness rules. Beware!Bwhahahahaha!

Have a nice weekend. Hope it isn't raining where you are.

Cic

40

Do You Think Your Family & Friends Will Ever Get Out Of The Religion??

by minimus in

jw
friends

can you imagine certain ones making it out of the religion, somehow, sometime?

?

Cicatrix

I thought my family WAS all out. But I was told that my mother is going to meetings again, despite the fact that she was the one who repeatedly told me that Jehovah's Witnesses were in a cult, despite the fact that she has a degree in psychology, and despite the fact that she came across a paper by a psychologist who is ex-JW, who outlined everything that is wrong with the society, agreed with it, and showed it to an elder!

But then, she did grow up attending the services of another group many people consider a cult.

Ya just never know.

39

Higher Education

by eiu2003 in

jw
friends

well, let's try posting a topic.

one of the things i felt i missed out on while i was a witness, other than wild sex when young is higher education.

i quit hs to pioneer and now have just recently finished a college degree and am still working on my masters, but i find myself resenting that i have had to do this all at night and while in my forties.

Cicatrix

Welcome EIU:)

Isn't it nice to just be able to write and NOT have to worry about style, lol.

Yeppers, I am furious that I let myself be talked out of higher education! It was a goal of mine when I was very young. My mother took me to one of her classes when I was 8 years old, and I was hooked.

I was a married teen mom (planned-and I have no idea what I was thinking, lol) who returned to school after my daughter was born and got excellent grades. My guidance counselor was rooting for me all the way, and told me that I would have a full scholarship if I wanted to go to college. I TURNED IT DOWN!!! I turned it down because I'd found "the truth," and the end was coming very soon, and my most important job was to preach the good news and bring my child up to be a good servant of Jehovah, lada lada lada.

So now I'm applying for loans and scraping up whatever cash I can to earn a degree. I also arranged to have my sons attend class with me (my instructors thought that was an awesome family tradition), and they have the college bug now, too. You can bet I'll be the most supportive parent there is when it comes to them getting a higher education. That's one of the reasons why I am so anxious to get a degree. I want to help them pay for college.

22

OOOPS I DID IT AGAIN !!

by tazmaniac in

i went to my local coffee shop at 11:10am on saturday morning.

not thinking that about 40 witnesses would be arriving.

there i was standing in line, the two parties in front of me were taking forever.

Cicatrix

Man, such loving Christians, huh Taz?

I get the same thing once in awhile. I live around the corner from the Kingdom Hall, and occasionally pass by at meeting exit and entrance times. It just amazes me how stone cold looking some of my so-called former friends can be when they see me. A few of them, I feel sorry for. They were always really nice, and seem more hurt than judgemental when we run into each other now. I try not make them uncomfortable. But the others really make me realize how loving that religion is NOT.

LOL Danny! You are a bold one. I've always thought it's better to try and remain nice and composed and be a contradiction to the Watchtower description of an apostate. But that doesn't really seem to get them thinking, and sometimes I wonder if it's making them more relentless.

I did scare one sister from my former congregation out of the grocery store last summer. The song "Devil with a Blue Dress" was playing. Ironically, I was wearing a blue dress that day. It gave me the best laugh I'd had in ages to watch her tear out of there after I winked at her kid (three of her kids had been cruising past me in the aisles, giving me dirty looks. I just couldn't resist).

30

how much Nepotism in the congregations?

by badboy in

jw
friends

know any examples?

Cicatrix

"Do we attend the same cong, or is this that goes on in almost every cong? "

It goes on in pretty much every congregation, and in all parts of the world, lol. Kids have to deal with raging hormones everywhere. What's hard to deal with is the rank hypocrisy amongst the JWs over who gets disciplined for it and who doesn't.It reminds me so much of Nathaniel Hawthorne's "Scarlet Letter."

My daughter was targetted for one of these little "make an example out of them" lessons. A long time member of the congregation reported that he had seen her "running around" our little town late at night with another girl from the hall. In actuality, he had probably seen her cousin, who resembles my daughter from a distance, and who is not in any way, shape or form, a Witness.My daughter and her friend were home with me all night, watching music awards on tv. Unfortunately, the rumor stuck, and my daughter and her friend got an undeserved reputation of being "wild," 'cause brother so-and-so said so, and he'd been one of the founding members of the congregation.

In the meantime, the grandson of the PO at the time was sexually involved with an unbaptised girl from another congregation. It was well known amongst the kids that this relationship was going on, and I expect some adults knew as well (I suspected as much, after an open condom wrapper blew out of his car at the Kingdom Hall, but by that time, I'd already dealt with so much crap, I no longer felt the need to get involved in anyone's business anymore). The boy was baptised, the girl was not. She was baptised after she "improved" her field service time for a month, so they could "date," even though she was still in high school, and "fornicating" with the "brother".

Later on, another unbaptised JW girl was having sex with my nephew's friend (not a Witness). Well, he found out that she was cheating on him. My nephew, who was familiar with JW policy because of us, told his friend to tell her parents what was going on, lol. Well, I guess it hit the fan for her at home, but there was nothing done in the congregation, as she wasn't baptised (and was in a prominent family).Sadly, the girl's mom later learned that her husband was cheating on HER.

Another elder stepped down when his daughter began having problems. She was disfellowshipped, and even after she was reinstated, she was treated badly by many congregation members. I asked about her a little while before I left.Her mom told me that even when she goes back to that area to visit them, she refuses to step foot in that hall.I told her mom to send her my love, and that I don't blame her for feeling that way. Her mom just nodded and hugged me.

So the inconsistencies are pretty glaring. If you have the right last name, you can party till the cows come home, but if you don't, your disfellowshipping never really ends, and anything anyone says can and will be used against you. It's sad, really sad.

103

And the winner of the best film award at the Cannes festival is ...

by Simon in

farenheit 9/11 ... sorry neo cons .

any film that gets a 15 min standing ovation must be worth watching.

i wonder if bush will go see it?!

Cicatrix

"Moore didn't tell you what to believe about guns in America in "bowling", in fact he didn't define what the problem is. He alluded to alot of things."

I watched the movie out of curiosity over all the uproar, and I agree with this, although I'm not sure what I think about Moore's journalistic integrity. I've been perusing some pages online that cite examples of various exaggerations and creative editing in his works.I haven't had time to see if I can confirm any of the volumes of source material that he includes in his books, although I did spot his "creative editing" in regards to the timing of the NRA rally in Flint.

Having studied journalism a bit,I can empathize with folks who are tearing their hair out over manipulated quotes and shoddy editing, not only in Moore's works, but in media in general.When I was reporting for the college paper, this was a big issue. I was thanked by several people for quoting them properly, and told that they had hesitated in agreeing to be interviewed, due to being misquoted in the past. I also had to listen to them complain at times, because of the headlines that the editor chose for the stories.Often, the headline would give the reader a totally different impression of what the story was supposed to be about.

But that fact being said, I think Michael Moore serves a purpose. He is actually getting people mad enough to wake up and think about things (same with Rush Limbaugh on the "other side").Anyone who goes a little further and does a reality check on the issues promulgated by radicals are being exposed to information they may have never taken the time to look into in the first place.

Also, and most important to me at the moment-he's gotten my children to take an interest in these issues. My sons actually sat and watched the whole movie, then they talked about it afterward. They actually talked to me-the woman whom they generally regard as their chauffer and bank!They had one of those eureka moments, and started thinking about what their own position regarding guns, etc. is. They talked to their friends at school.

A week later, I still ovehear my fifteen year old talking about the movie on the phone. And he admitted to me that he's been sneaking in the library at school to read the newspaper everyday at lunchtime, too.

Thank you, Michael Moore for that! You've managed to get my son to tread where he has never gone before:)