Posts by Desilusionnee

3

I feel so discourage-Reply to Desi

by JustHuman14 in

something wrong desi and i can't reply to your post.

so i came with a new one.... i know how you feel.

i was in the same situation, but 15 years ago.

Desilusionnee

Hi JustHuman14,

Thanks for sharing your story. It's hard indeed to see how WT destructs families. Last year my disfellowshipped sister-in-law got married a nice worldly fiancé. Her only sister didn’t go (hard core JW) and wanted to prevent her mother and us from going. Hubby and I went and his very zealous sister told us that we fear men (non JW family members). Our answer: “you’re like the Pharisees”.

A good friend of mine sister and her (elder) husband cancelled their visit to our place (planned months before) just because we went to that wedding. An elder in our KH told us, if we go, we should not talk around in the KH: just go don’t say anything. That’s what we did. So no one in our KH knew/knows we went to this wedding.

This sister-in-law that got married was attending all meeting since at least 2 years and lived in abstinence. For us it was normal to go, for her sister not. One month or so later she was reinstated.

The 2 friends of mine since don’t talk to us (more than one year now!): it’s not that tragic as they live far away from us. But I just wanted to confirm, that it was the first time I saw how conditional love and friendship are in the BORG.

I’m really sorry for the situation you’re in and hope it will improve from month to month. I don’t know which problems I’m going to face, but I’m prepared in my head and I already feel free in my mind. I’m not a slave of their teachings anymore and that’s a great feeling.

Desi

29

Now versus 7 Years Ago.....

by AK - Jeff in

we have been out of the organization since 1-1-2004 - at least that is the way we mark it to remember.

we began to read ray's books in late fall/early winter of 2003 - a thousand pages later and a few weeks - viola - we were out to never return.. i was contemplating just how significantly i have personally changed in that period of time - not the stages, though there have been many stages.

but the raw contrast of my opinions, moral stance, and view of the world is amazing.

Desilusionnee

Thanks for sharing Ak-Jeff. It's really refreshing/encouraging for us newbies!

Desi

35

I feel so discourage

by Desilusionnee in

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Desilusionnee

Thanks Metatron and Etna for your good advise!

I will be more carefull than I ever did. Say nothing...yes it's better to shut one's mouth. Good lesson for me. I think I can trust Hubby as he never was a core believer, he just likes the social network in the KH and feels free from teachings like the trinity, but he doesn't believe everything the FDS teaches.

Claim an illness...hum, wait. Depression...noone who knows me will believe it, but burnout could certainly work as I did have one 3 years ago. Everybody knows I'm a working mum, own my own business, have a house and 2 little girls: that's much work. They could believe it, I've to work at the scenario...

Thanks for your help. So happy I found this forum!

Desi

35

I feel so discourage

by Desilusionnee in

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Desilusionnee

JustHuman14 so sorry for what you had to go trough ("I was turned to the elders for apostasy 2 times by my wife"). It's difficult indeed. Most of us dedicated our life to this cult and wake up some day with a "bitter taste in mouth": the feeling of having loosing one's time/youth just for wind.

Thanks for your kind comments and encouragements.

Desi

18

Uh oh! WWYD? Please help!

by NiceDream in

jw
friends

so i screwed up big time here.

there's a nice young witness who is leaving the "truth".

i sent them a short facebook message and it seems their parent intercepted it...they asked if i sent anything to their kid today.. i said it jws are cultlike, i had doubts i wished i listened to, and to follow their heart.

Desilusionnee

((((((NiceDream))))) I just feel with you..

Try Yknot's idea. But the "2 witness rule" from Outlaw is not bad either.

Desi

35

I feel so discourage

by Desilusionnee in

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Desilusionnee

Thanks to all for your encouragements/comments.

I think I talked a little bit too much on Saturday which usually doesn’t happen. It was just too hard to sit through the whole meeting having to listen / or not to listen to it. Sometimes I want to quit going straight away (like Saturday). Other days, I want to give it time, as I would like hubby to leave with me because I think it would be easier and he is a very loving husband.

As this friend sister began to say sometimes she has the feeling the Borg thinks we are “brainless” and we kept on speaking about other weird things, it came to the new generation teaching….They just swallow it down without thinking. But who am I to judge them. As I was still in, I nearly did the same.
@Debator, it’s not or was not the only thing that made me leave (actually I’m only on the way out). I would never have left because of one teaching I don’t agree with. My husband and I couldn’t believe in the 2007 generation explanation, but we didn’t leave. There many other silly WT teachings, but they were not that important for our faith.
As we have 2 little girls, the main point was the child abuse policy of the WT. Then I read about things like the UN-scandal and, and, and… the list is long.

@jwfacts, yes you’re right: the “who else is better complex” is a very big.

Desi

35

I feel so discourage

by Desilusionnee in

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Desilusionnee

@Hadit

I'm so sorry for you. Thanks for your good advice. Hang in there

Desi

35

I feel so discourage

by Desilusionnee in

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Desilusionnee

Thanks to all for your comments and nice thoughts.

Desi

35

I feel so discourage

by Desilusionnee in

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Desilusionnee

Cognizant dissident and Scared for life, I totally agree with you. My husband and I used to have a social life outside the Borg before we got the children. But since they are born, we have so much to do with our jobs, the children, meetings, preparation, FS and so on, that we don’t go out anymore with colleagues. No time for jogging / marathon/training etc anymore…I’m working at “restoring” those activities so that Hubby forgets the social network we have in the KH.

And yes you’re right, those “friendships” are conditional. I feel it already. I used to be very “zealous”, but since I found all that out, WE don’t prepare any meeting (nearly 3 months now!) anymore which would have been unthinkable 4 months ago.

I also try to work at Hubby. This morning during breakfast, I asked him what he would think of an organization pretending to be led by HS and that teaches something and exactly the contrary a few years later. If he were Jehovah, would he deceive his people by telling something and then the contrary? I then took the example of the 1995 generation teaching that pretended that this G couldn’t be the anointed as the disciples were not already anointed as Jesus pronounced this prophecy. So this G must be the G of wicked ones. And the new teaching (15 years later) affirms that the G is an overlapping G of anointed. He couldn’t disagree with me and answered they cannot be led by the HS. Then he mentioned the rain or not rain before the flood teaching which we never could believe in. And then I told him our argument has always been this belief is not that important for our faith so we had no problem with it. I also told him that regarding the new G-teaching, many say it’s not that important for their faith in the FDS. But when we think about the fact that the 1914 doctrine is the core teaching for JW, all we believe in is based on that date, shouldn’t it be important for our faith?

He surely will think about it. It may take time, but I want to get him out of this cult because he is a really great guy. That’s why I try to do it very slowly since April but I’m just feeling tired of it all. We have DC this week-end and after that I want to stop going…he will have to accept it.

Thanks to all for your comments!

Desi

35

I feel so discourage

by Desilusionnee in

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Desilusionnee

What upsets me is that many say they don't care about 1914. It's not that important. So the generation change means nothing to them. Many didn't even notice the change made 3 years ago and they don't understand this one, but as it's coming from the slave, they just swallow it.

@DeathSentry, what did the brother who study with you answer?