I feel so discourage-Reply to Desi

by JustHuman14 3 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • JustHuman14

    Something wrong Desi and I can't reply to your post. So I came with a new one...

    I know how you feel. I was in the same situation, but 15 years ago. Yes it was the first change of the generation done by the WT. It was the contemporary “light”.

    I had the misfortune to be teenager at the early 80’s, when all that pressure about “worldly education” was coming out from the headquarters. It was close to the 1975 fiasco of the WT, then it was the Ray Franz incident, so the Old boys decide to tight things more.

    So since the end was Soooooo close I quit school to become pioneer and save as many more people I can. You see our preaching was separating the sheep from the goats, according to WT since 1935. So there was no time for education since the generation that will witness the “sign” at 1914, it will be old enough to witness the end of this system. A generation lives 70-80 years, so we have 1914+70 = 1984…

    As a teenager and having faith that this was “God’s Words” and solid as a rock, I became pioneer. (I guess this pioneer thing is in the family) I quit school, plus a promising career as a musician, in order to save the World from the end.

    So I preached, in the meantime, got married, and waited for the end. Then in 1995 comes a “light” from Brooklyn. The generation now means contemporaries and does include those seeing the “sign” in 1914 and those who have seen those who seen the “sign”…and the separation work it will be done by Jesus only, so for 70 years our preaching work went down the drain!!!

    I was young and I have wasted my best years of my creative life for a preaching work that now have changed. In fact if I continue to do the preaching work I used to, I will be considered an apostate…After that, in just 5 years I became inactive, step down from all the privileges I had in the WT world and try to fix my life that was in a great financial mess. Plus I lost my credibility to all those I have preached regarding the generation: How can they believe me now? How can I tell them, look there is a new understanding now and forget the previous one? How can I be credible to them since I was telling them that this are the words of Jesus in the Bible? Was it Jesus fault of this change? Does Jesus change His mind from time to time in order to create a state of confusion to His followers? Or I spend all those years preaching a FALSE GOSPEL by FALSE PROPHETS, who claim that they have the “holy spirit”?

    During those years I didn’t proceed to a serious business deal that for sure it would have change my financial future completely, since I come from a pour family, that spend their time to promote WT’s gospel. So due to the fact the end was near I declined that proposition. But you can’t turn back time since I was in the mid 30’s going to 40’s when I had to move on with my life.

    Boy it is hard world out there, especially when you have no friends and most of all education. I could see my “worldly” friends that most of them studied higher education, getting a respectable amount of money, while I was killing my self to world, doing (and still do)2-3 jobs, working 14 hours a day just to get the minimum money to support my family.

    Many didn’t like my fading. I was a great tool in the hands of the WT. So after a lot of pressure from my wife and tense and intense arguing I told I just don’t believe anymore that the WT has something to do with God. It is just an American Religion created 150 years ago by a guy who has no clue of Christianity, based upon Pyramidology and Occult practices, passed upon wrong dates that coming out from the measures of Pyramids (607 B.C instead of 587 B.C). So it is easy to guess what happened. I was handed over to the ”loving elders” of the WT Society by my wife for apostasy…So I managed to get way from been disfellowshiped, and I continue my fading. But this wasn’t enough so few years later again I was turned to the elders for apostasy, but this time I was strong enough to blow WT in their faces. I walked for the KH and never turned back.

    As you will already know WT controls your family. There is no real love amongst the JW couples, actually I found that their love is with terms and conditions. Follow them in order to love you. So my family was broken due to WT’s policy of disfellowship and I left house, since there was no way that I could have a normal life.

    In my case I was born in the WT, didn’t had anyone else in my life besides JW’s and trying to be a normal person it takes years, specially to deprogram your mind from the brainwashing of the WT. Like you I have children but I speak to them why I left WT and why they should use their mind capabilities, conscious, and discrete in their life.

    I did found peace on mind after living WT, and tried to live a peaceful life. Most of all I enjoy freedom of thought without anyone telling what to believe today….If you need anything PM

  • JustHuman14

    Desis post

    Hi all,

    I feel so discourage by now. Thursday was the first time I went to the meetings since 3 weeks and some looked at me in a strange way. One of this persons was an elder I like very much. He greeted me with a reproachful look and after the meeting he came to me and asked (on a false joking tone) if I still new them. I just answered no in the same tone and went.

    Yesterday after the meeting, we went to eat an ice cream with our daughters and some “friends” from the KH, which we like very much and with whom we regularly come together. I talked with a sister about the new generation teaching and told her how silly I find the new explanation. You should have seen how fast she went on “JW-mode”. She was on the defensive and asked me if I’m from the GB to know what is silly and what not. I told her it lacks of logic. She told me it’s just the new light. It has been like that since at least 100 years, that’s it. Then I asked her why the new light of 2007 about the generation is obsolete by now? Aren’t they directed by the Holy Spirit? Then I said the truth as revealed in the bible doesn’t change, only human interpretations, that are imperfect, change. She had to agree and then said the bible says they are the FDS not the F and perfect slave. Jehovah has is timetable and will fulfill his will in due time even if it’s the grand-children of her 14 year old daughter who will see this fulfillment. As I saw she was getting nervous and not acting as usual, I just agreed and let her alone. I just wanted to scream.

    When I was in the car I told my husband that I don’t believe in this stuff anymore. I believe in God, but not in the FDS. He asked me if this organization is not God’s organization which one is serving God ? I told him I don’t even know if God has an organization on earth. Then he asked me if I believe Moses was led by God? I said yes. Then he asked me if all he did was perfect. I told him no he did some mistakes, but everything Moses said in God’s name accomplished. Then we stopped talking about that.

    I was asking myself why I was still going to those meetings. I found out the truth about the Borg 3 month ago, and for me it was clear enough to stop preparing any meeting and involving myself in this imperfect organization. I wanted to fade slowly…(sigh).

    Now I don’t even know what to do. It’s so difficult when you have a hubby you really love and 2 little children. If I were single, I would have left straight away.

    Yesterday I felt so discouraged after the meeting. I thought I will stop all activities relating to this organization. In order to get encouragements I came on the forum and read until 1.00 am then I went exhausted to bed.

    Sorry for talking so much, but I just wanted to share my feelings with you.



  • Desilusionnee

    Hi JustHuman14,

    Thanks for sharing your story. It's hard indeed to see how WT destructs families. Last year my disfellowshipped sister-in-law got married a nice worldly fiancé. Her only sister didn’t go (hard core JW) and wanted to prevent her mother and us from going. Hubby and I went and his very zealous sister told us that we fear men (non JW family members). Our answer: “you’re like the Pharisees”.

    A good friend of mine sister and her (elder) husband cancelled their visit to our place (planned months before) just because we went to that wedding. An elder in our KH told us, if we go, we should not talk around in the KH: just go don’t say anything. That’s what we did. So no one in our KH knew/knows we went to this wedding.

    This sister-in-law that got married was attending all meeting since at least 2 years and lived in abstinence. For us it was normal to go, for her sister not. One month or so later she was reinstated.

    The 2 friends of mine since don’t talk to us (more than one year now!): it’s not that tragic as they live far away from us. But I just wanted to confirm, that it was the first time I saw how conditional love and friendship are in the BORG.

    I’m really sorry for the situation you’re in and hope it will improve from month to month. I don’t know which problems I’m going to face, but I’m prepared in my head and I already feel free in my mind. I’m not a slave of their teachings anymore and that’s a great feeling.


  • gotout

    JustHuman, To set your mind at ease: According to Bible scripture, how does one identify a true or false phrophet? How does the Society measure up, according to those standards?

    To tell my story briefly: Elder/pioneer. Starting noticing other Elders, two abusing prescrip drugs, several others abused alcohol. One was down right depressed, the other was mad with his own ego and power. I always wondered why this ego elder would never go door to door in the town he lived in, hmmmm. Well anyway, after talking about these things with God at length, this is what poped into my head at the end of that intense prayer: "Do you really think I would use a manmade religion to represent me? Look at the nation of Isreal, I learned my lesson. Get out of this religion, it is not right for you." I wrote a letter that very day and mailed it.

    I will tell you the secerts to communication with the Creator. Be you, be sincere. Have an open heart. 2. Meditation. There are many different ways to meditate. Research and try, you'll find the method that will work for you. Meditation is nothing more than learning how to push all the noise in your brain ( bills, family, world events, ect... ) off to the side and open a channel. That is where I take my deepest concerns and questions to my Creator. I have had screaming matches with God, I dumped all my anger at his feet. You know what JustHuman, he graciously took it away from me. I have never been more at peace in my life than right now. The JWs do teach alot of truths, but it is mixed with a lot of human imperfections, because... it is a manmade religion. So relax JustHuman, the Creator maybe trying to direct you down the path YOU need to take. Open your mind to it's direction.

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