Nekoreichan, I have a lot to say to you because I found myself in a situation very similar to yours. Bear with me for a while and I'll be back. I'm a non-JW, too.
Posts by dgp
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20JW boy and 'worldly' girl - love torn in two
by nekoreichan inhey everyone, .
i have a question about being in a relationship with a jw boy.. we were friends since the beginning of our senior year in high school.
i called him oniichan ( older brother in japanese) so it'll just be for fun.
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21
Has anyone else seen the movie Worlds Apart"? The Jehovahs witness flick?
by aquagirl ini just bought it.its amazingly accurate!
especially when the heroine tells her father that she has decided to quit school and become a full time pioneer.he was so pleased!!!
!that is exactly the way it is!the movie is very good,and isnt total jw bashing.a very interesting look at a sick cult.also,i had a lot of "thea" friends,girls that would get me to do something that they "said " they were doing,and when i didi it,they would have to confess for my own good.whew,i am soooo thankful to be out of that crap..
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dgp
This is a very good movie. I can't give you but the impressions of a male unbeliever who finds himself in a very similar situation to that of the unbelieving male in the movie.
If you have read about the WTS and you know what to expect, you immediately understand that the filmmaker did his homework very well. All the nuances my unbelieving eyes can perceive are there. And all the perspectives and feelings of an unbeliever are also there. Let's summarize this as "Why the hell can't I love you? Who came up with such an irrational thing?". The perspective of another unbeliever, Teis's mother, is also there: why should her son get himself in trouble by loving the member of a cult?
The unbeliever also tries to convert if that's what it takes to get his girl. He just can't. I wonder if whoever watches this movie really understands why: because he is too used to the freedoms the WTS will want to take away. It's as if you tried to turn a 50 year old into a slave. He could have to do it, but he would always be a potential runaway.
The unbeliever who watches this movie will feel immediately touched and will see himself (or herself) on the screen. He or she will think twice about getting involved with a Jehovah's witness. But, I'm afraid, not in the way that some JW's or some not-very-loving unbelievers would. A loving unbeliever will wonder whether his or her love isn't doing more damage than good to his/her dearly beloved. It also makes you think whether you're man enough to the responsibility of becoming a person's sole support. Your witness will leave everything for you; will you be up to the challenge?
I don't think many practicing Jehovah's witnesses will ever watch this movie or read this post. But, in case any does, know, witness, whoever you are, that the unbeliever who gets to love you does love you. Sometimes he will ignore what he is getting into. But sometimes he does what it would take. Some of us will leave you because we will have understood that we aren't up to the challenge. And, some of us will stay because that will be all we will be able to do, no matter how we try to use our heads. If an unbeliever loves you despite the mixed messages, the pain, and all the stuff that comes with the WTS, he loves you like no one else will. Keep that in your memory if you should lose him.
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Tribute to my JW mother.
by Aussie Oz inhaving read a lot of threads on how difficult it can be to deal with parents who cannot understand why a child leaves the jw's etc, i decided to post about my mother.... mum joined the jw's in the early 70's.
she had 3 children, about 8,10 and 12. after divorce and remarriage she had two more (twins) when i was 15ish.
we three first children all left home, older brother d/f first, younger sister d/a years later and i left my wife and was d/f too.
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dgp
We're all human and we love'em all, don't we? Aren't we in pain because they can't love us unconditionally, like we love them? Doesn't everything starts with the heart, and should always remain that way?
Aussie, your post is a tribute to yourself, too. My respects, man.
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Has anyone else seen the movie Worlds Apart"? The Jehovahs witness flick?
by aquagirl ini just bought it.its amazingly accurate!
especially when the heroine tells her father that she has decided to quit school and become a full time pioneer.he was so pleased!!!
!that is exactly the way it is!the movie is very good,and isnt total jw bashing.a very interesting look at a sick cult.also,i had a lot of "thea" friends,girls that would get me to do something that they "said " they were doing,and when i didi it,they would have to confess for my own good.whew,i am soooo thankful to be out of that crap..
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dgp
Marked for comment later.
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17
Friend of mine wants out - small problem
by torn in two son ini'm fourteen.
my closest friend is fourteen.
we've been friends, for fourteen years.
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dgp
Choosing life gave great advice. She isn't independent until now, and she needs to work on that. Her mind is already free, so herself being free is just a matter of time.
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The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving Kindness- No need for religion in spirituality
by OnTheWayOut inreading tmj4477's thread about religion after jw's and reading perry trying to counter ak-jeff on a thread about god and suffering, both of these made me want to post some eastern thought that doesn't fall into the category of "religious" but might help nonetheless.. .
excerpt from the wisdom of no escape (with subtitle: and the path of loving-kindness).
chapter 8: no such thing as a true storyin taoism there's a famous saying that goes, "the tao that can be spoken is not the ultimate tao.
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dgp
On the Way Out, thanks for the post. How refreshing. If only most of us thought that way...
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Are Any Of You Afraid of Dying At Armageddon?
by minimus ini'm not but i know some jws that have drifted but when things like 9/11 catastrophes occur, they're right back at the kingdom hall.. do you ever worry that the great tribulation might occur and you will die?.
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dgp
Misfit mel, you wrote:
Actually the JW concept of Armaggeddon isn't really scary at all. Unlike other religions, there is no HELL.
So what happens when you die? Eternal torture? Nope. Nothing. The dead are conscious of nothing at all. Why would I fear that? Even if everyone else was heartily frolicking in paradise, I wouldn't miss it because... well... I am non-existent.
Yeah Armaggeddon might be scary but if it really got bad, I could always put a bullet to my brain and quickly and humanely end it all. I would have blissful nothingness to look forward to!!
At least other religions have some scary shit that could make unbelievers quake in their pants.....
Exactly.
Witnesses have a rough time leaving because their entire world is composed of other witnesses and they are shunned. But, for a Catholic, for example, the idea is that your family may not abandon you but you will face an eternity of pain and torture. Jehovah's witnesses say that this life is not that important; for a Catholic, it has a hell of importance: you have to work hard here if you don't want to end up in hell. John Paul II brought a lot of relief when he said hell didn't exist. I'm not sure if they "reinstated" hell again; I heard something in that sense.
Misfitmel's point is important to me because leaving my Catholic faith was spiritually very scary, to a degree leaving the WT wouldn't be. Of course, the immediate pain and suffering a JW endures if he leaves is way beyond the imagination of any Catholic. I'm not at all trying to minimize your pain or your fears.
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Danish film, "Worlds Apart," (about JW girl) reviewed by XJW author
by AndersonsInfo inonce again i'm posting information about the new danish film.
this time, the xjw, who saw the movie, updated his original e-mail to me containing additional facts.
"to verdener" / "worlds apart.".
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dgp
Teel, you wrote "true, she was sending mixed messages, and the whole thing was just bizarre, but that's the price you pay for getting involved in a high-control cult".
An unbeliever involved with a witness NEEDS to get used to mixed messages. My witness always shows a very clear pattern: hateful first, mellow and incredibly sweet later, and hurtful in the end. She asks for help and then makes everything possible not to receive it. I understood long ago, thanks to Steven Hassan, that it's her real self fighting her witness self. Her witness self wins because she is afraid of dying at Armageddon. Her witness self tells her that I'm a man who will die in no time and it just doesn't make sense to even bother with me. You have to get used to that.
The unbeliever will also send mixed messages, because he KNOWS the religion is man made, and THEREFORE, he thinks joining is no big deal, and the woman he loves so much is well worth the price. Did you notice Teis supposedly went to study, went to the convention, and then in the end just recognized that he didn't believe anything?
In my opinion the movie was wonderfully made. It does capture several fine points, despite the mistakes others have pinpointed, like an elder with a beard, or Thea's mother holding a disfellowshipped Sara. The fine points of the unbeliever's behavior are also well presented. Outside of the society, who would even have to bother to make it look like the girl sleeps in a different room?
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Disposable People
by MerryMagdalene insince my mom decided she needed to put full shunning back into effect again (an unconscious new year's resolution to be a better jw?
), i've been ransacked by a whole bunch of emotions which have been gradually resolving into thoughts.
the sense of being completely disposable, expendable, replaceable.
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dgp
Marked for reference
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dgp
Marked for reference