Posts by Mattieu

i can remember a few years ago when only 1 bro was baptised at a 2 day convention.. its funny, when 10-20 were being baptised at each circuit assembly back in the 1980s & early 90s it was always brought out that this was a sign of jehovahs blessing upon the org.

Mattieu

The last 3 weekends have seen 3 circuit ASSemblies in Victoria with over 1000 attending each circuit. Yet only 10 baptised over the last 3 weeks, including 3 last weekend. I can remember a few years ago when only 1 bro was baptised at a 2 day convention.

It’s funny, when 10-20 were being baptised at each circuit assembly back in the 1980’s & early 90’s it was always brought out that this was a sign of Jehovah’s blessing upon the org. Yet when the numbers are low they never say it’s a sign that Jah isn’t happy with the org, but find a scripture to relate a fulfilment of prophecy to low baptism figures.......

What is happening in your area? Is it just something local to Oz or is it hopefully a worldwide thing?

Mattieu.

23

Introduction

by Lekore in

jw
friends

i thought i'd introduce myself, i haven't been to the faux-truth in about 6 years now so i'm merely a small child to the 'real world.

' i grew up in said religion and attended two english speaking congregations and lastly a sign language congregation in britain.

i think this gives away my identity to some friends i have on here ;).

Mattieu

G'day and welcome!

Mattieu.

16

Australian BBQ etiquette

by Mattieu in

bbq rules.

we are about to enter the bbq season.

therefore it is important to refresh.

Mattieu

Count me in, though not new years (or the day after................)

34

Sisters crying in the kitchen/lobby

by highdose in

years ago i was at the revamp of a kingdom hall.

one of the sisters told me that since they got rid of the kitchen it was so much better, becuase there were always sisters out there crying!

and now they have no place to go, so they just have to stay in the hall and listen to the meeting!.

Mattieu

I used to see it all the time. I was in a twin hall complex with 4 congos sharing. if it wasn’t the kitchen it was in the mothers & babies room. A lot of it was ongoing personality/family disputes.

9

THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES

by Mattieu in

a.. during all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip.

club at least once.. .

b.. when they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak english to each.

Mattieu

lol, esp when watching any of the CSI ir NCIS shows!

16

Australian BBQ etiquette

by Mattieu in

bbq rules.

we are about to enter the bbq season.

therefore it is important to refresh.

Mattieu

Lillith & wantstoleave, I am having a dinner for 20 family & friends tomorrow night, no bbq and I am preparing, marinating cooking & cleaning everything! I did my menu this arvo, did grocery shopping tonight and heading to the butchers tomorrow. So if you guys are in town................ then yes!

When it comes to BBQ, I don’t follow the joke rules, I believe in giving the better half the night off, then to reward myself, I indulge in some of the finest Australian wine..............

Cheers big ears.....

Mattieu

PS: You are always welcome to Oompa, I will shout half your airfare the way the Aussie dollar is going!

24

Shower Sex

by Mattieu in

in a recent survey carried out for a leading toiletries firm (brut), people.

from detroit and chicago have proved to be the most likely to have had sex.

in the shower!.

Mattieu

In a recent survey carried out for a leading toiletries firm (Brut), people
from Detroit and Chicago have proved to be the most likely to have had sex
in the shower!

In the survey, 86% of Detroit's and Chicago's inner city residents said
that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.

The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison yet.

9

THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES

by Mattieu in

a.. during all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip.

club at least once.. .

b.. when they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak english to each.

Mattieu

a.. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip
club at least once.

b.. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each
other.

c.. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing
St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.

d.. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the
armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying
beside her.

e.. The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective - or
give him 48 hours to finish the job.

f.. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

g.. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk
you down.

h.. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place -
noone will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any
other part of the building undetected.

i.. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure
they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.

j.. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

k.. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.

l.. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition,
even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

m.. You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make
the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

n.. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not
be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do.

o.. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer
beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his
forthcoming art exhibition.

p.. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but
will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

q.. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a
bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the
exact fare.

r.. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night,
you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

s.. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
noises in their most revealing underwear.

t.. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every
morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

u.. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

v.. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

w.. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK
stadium.

x.. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

y.. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

z.. It is not necessary to hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone
conversations.

aa.. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to
turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

ab.. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are
visiting.

ac.. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from
duty.

ad.. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving
martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing
around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their
predecessors.

ae.. When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will
never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

af.. No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic
eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

ag.. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

ah.. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

ai.. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -
unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

aj.. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you
personally at the precise moment that it is aired.