THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES

by Mattieu 9 Replies latest social humour

  • Mattieu
    Mattieu

    a.. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip
    club at least once.

    b.. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each
    other.

    c.. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing
    St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.

    d.. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the
    armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying
    beside her.

    e.. The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective - or
    give him 48 hours to finish the job.

    f.. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

    g.. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk
    you down.

    h.. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place -
    noone will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any
    other part of the building undetected.

    i.. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure
    they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.

    j.. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

    k.. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
    readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.

    l.. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition,
    even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

    m.. You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make
    the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

    n.. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not
    be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do.

    o.. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer
    beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his
    forthcoming art exhibition.

    p.. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but
    will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

    q.. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a
    bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the
    exact fare.

    r.. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night,
    you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

    s.. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
    noises in their most revealing underwear.

    t.. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every
    morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

    u.. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

    v.. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

    w.. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK
    stadium.

    x.. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

    y.. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

    z.. It is not necessary to hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone
    conversations.

    aa.. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to
    turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

    ab.. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are
    visiting.

    ac.. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from
    duty.


    ad.. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving
    martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing
    around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their
    predecessors.

    ae.. When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will
    never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

    af.. No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic
    eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

    ag.. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

    ah.. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

    ai.. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -
    unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

    aj.. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you
    personally at the precise moment that it is aired.

  • brinjen
    brinjen

    When using a computer, just randomly strike any key on the keyboard... the computer will know what you want it to do.

    All computers have 10 terrabit internet connections to make high definition video viewable in a split second.

  • Mattieu
    Mattieu

    lol, esp when watching any of the CSI ir NCIS shows!

  • JeffT
    JeffT

    The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

    The Space Needle can be seen from any window in Seattle - even if the rest of the city looks mysteriously like Vancouver, BC.

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    The hero will always be able to outrun (on foot) the bad guys who are chasing him in an automobile.

    The hero will always be able to figure out the bad guy's computer pass word.

  • Casper
    Casper

    If you're pregnant and you don't want anyone to know, all you need is :

    A large coat and a very big shoulder bag.

    A pillow when sitting and a counter to stand behind.

    Problem Solved !

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Female cops are gorgeous, never lumpy or drabbly dressed.

    S

  • Casper
    Casper

    If you're lost on a deserted road, Bubba one tooth will find you every time and offer to "hep".

    If you have more than 4 teenagers in a car and they break down, they will always go to the "Wrong" house.

    Oh, and never go camping !!

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    In a horror flick the black guy mostoften is the first to die.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    This is incredible, Matthieu! Where did you find these facts?

    What particularly struck me is that no one ever finishes a meal, or even touches it, for that matter. Well, there are a few exceptions, I recall. In addition, a movie's progress today hinges largely upon actors' reliance upon mobile phone communication. In WWII movies the movement of all ships at the Admiralty [Brit.] and their positions relative to one another was charted on a table map, toy ships moved with a stick [term?] to indicate their progress at sea. Communication was by telephone or teletype, I believe.

    Thanks!

    CoCo

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