Australian BBQ etiquette

by Mattieu 16 Replies latest social humour

  • Mattieu
    Mattieu

    BBQ RULES

    We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh
    your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity .
    When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put
    into motion:

    Routine...
    (1) The woman buys the food.
    (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
    (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with
    the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is
    lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
    (4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone
    where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities
    can take place without the interference of the woman.

    Here comes the important part:
    (5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

    More routine...
    (6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
    (7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He
    thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

    Important again:
    (8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

    More routine...
    (9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces,
    and brings them to the table.

    (10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

    And most important of all:
    (11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

    (12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ' and, upon
    seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some
    women!

  • wantstoleave
    wantstoleave

    You hit the nail on the head!! Gotta love a snag on the barbie

  • Lillith26
    Lillith26

    Sounds about right.......... Food Fight BBQ at Mattieu's ??? can I be the man???


  • wantstoleave
    wantstoleave

    Yeh lets all meet up at his house, I'll just fly over (45min flight)....say, arond 6pm tomorrow? Lol...

  • carla
    carla

    That sounds about right for the US too! with one exception, woman, while bringing beverage of choice to man must remind man to keep an eye on said meat and douses flames thus saving meat of the day while man still gets all the credit for a wonderful meal!

  • oompa
    oompa

    guys if this funny story is true....lets cowboy up!.......it is too easy to do the entire thing and really give your gal the night off

    but seriously...what grill chef would not season/prepare his own steaks?....i always buy the entire loin or rib and cut my own steaks!!!.....you can not buy them the way you want them....and hell the grill is hot anyway so keep it simple.....slice some squash and throw it on there or some other veggie...or grab a good bag salad and dress it up a bit.....if in a hurry....nuke your potatoes till almost done, cut in half, rub in olive oil, rub kosher course salt on white side and crisp up for about five or so on the grill..............so get off your ass guys and strike back at these sexist stereotypes!!.....oompa

  • brinjen
    brinjen
    That sounds about right for the US too! with one exception, woman, while bringing beverage of choice to man must remind man to keep an eye on said meat and douses flames thus saving meat of the day while man still gets all the credit for a wonderful meal!

    No... that happens here too...

  • Mattieu
    Mattieu

    Lillith & wantstoleave, I am having a dinner for 20 family & friends tomorrow night, no bbq and I am preparing, marinating cooking & cleaning everything! I did my menu this arvo, did grocery shopping tonight and heading to the butchers tomorrow. So if you guys are in town................ then yes!

    When it comes to BBQ, I don’t follow the joke rules, I believe in giving the better half the night off, then to reward myself, I indulge in some of the finest Australian wine..............

    Cheers big ears.....

    Mattieu

    PS: You are always welcome to Oompa, I will shout half your airfare the way the Aussie dollar is going!

  • Lillith26
    Lillith26

    The finest Australian Wine- I'll just duck 20kms down the road to where the fabulous Yellow Tail is made ......

    We so need to have an Aussie Apostafest soon.... What are ya's all doing over new year????????

  • brinjen
    brinjen

    I'm free new years (at this stage). I agree... we need to have an Oz apostafest!

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