Mattieu

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Posts by Mattieu

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  16

  Australian BBQ etiquette

  by Mattieu in

  1. social
  2. humour

  bbq rules.

  we are about to enter the bbq season.

  therefore it is important to refresh.

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  Mattieu

  BBQ RULES
  
  We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh
  your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity .
  When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put
  into motion:
  
  Routine...
  (1) The woman buys the food.
  (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
  (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with
  the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is
  lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
  (4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone
  where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities
  can take place without the interference of the woman.
  
  Here comes the important part:
  (5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
  
  More routine...
  (6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
  (7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He
  thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat
  
  Important again:
  (8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
  
  More routine...
  (9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces,
  and brings them to the table.
  
  (10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
  
  And most important of all:
  (11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
  
  (12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ' and, upon
  seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some
  women!
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  Falling Brick!

  by Mattieu in

  1. social
  2. humour

  two mates are on the roof of a building one of them says "watch this"..... he throws a brick off the roof and yells "falling brick".... the brick.

  smashes on the gound.

  he hands a brick to his mate who has a chronic.

• 

  Mattieu

  Two mates are on the roof of a building one of them says "watch this"....
  he throws a brick off the roof and yells "FALLING BRICK".... the brick
  smashes on the gound. He hands a brick to his mate who has a chronic
  stutter, he then throws the brick off and yells "F....... F...... F.....
  F.... F.. u. c.
  k........... I hit him!
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  17

  Cuppa T char?

  by highdose in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in convasation with a american recently i was introduced to the horrific concept of putting cream in tea?!?

  they in turn were appaulled by the idea of milk in tea with 12 sugars ( al la builders tea).. so before i put the kettle on, how do you take your tea?.

  ( mine is english breakfast, milk no sugar, middle strenght).

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  Mattieu

  English breakfast or orange peko, strong, white no sugar.

  Cheers,

  Mattieu
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  9

  See you in Paradise

  by Mattieu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was looking through a relatives photo album last weekend and saw pictures of their trip to an international convention in asia in the early 1990s.

  on the final day the local bro & sis were all holding placards with phrases such as see you in paradise.. that reminded me of the last international i went to in sydney about 5 years ago, same thing happened on the last day, similar placards with similar phrases.

  there was also a lot of random hugging of bro & sis in international costumes.

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  Mattieu

  Sorry to hear Hopscotch, I have nothing but negative memories of that convention, though nothing compared to what you have gone through.

  Mattieu.
• 
  66

  The guy that claimed he was going to bring down the WTBTS

  by Scarred for life in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i haven't been on the board for several weeks until yesterday.

  there was a guy that was a regular poster that was starting some kind of email campaign that he claimed was going to bring down the wtbts.

  i can't remember his name.

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  Mattieu

  To answer CT's question, yes a lot of big corporations have been brought down, almost all of them by their own stupidity or greed

  I agree, though most corporations have been brought down due to internal “whistleblowers”. If the WTBS collapses (and yes one day it will), it will be due to people on the “inside” who are disenchanted and throw enough mud to make it stick.

  This site is well supported by many former insiders (whose experiences and comments have assisted me in my exit). The current retirement of many hard working genuine bethelites, will cause many insiders to stop and think “am I next”. A lack of security and disenchantment is the first step to standing back and analysing the organisation you work for, in this case bethelites/wtbs.
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  4

  Brush with Scientology

  by JimmyPage in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the first time i went "inactive" (before i ever read any franz or hassan) i looked around a bit at other religions.

  one that interested me was scientology.

  (hm... out of one cult and into another, i know...) .

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  Mattieu

  Hi Jimmy,

  Not that I was attracted to their religion, but I always made sure I had time to listen to the Mormon’s. I used to know how I felt as a young pioneer going around door to door suffering from “fear of man” and thought they could be going through what I was.

  Lol, I used to wave to them when they rode past on their bikes when we were going door to door! (Though that upset one of our Hitler pioneer elders!)

  If they ever knocked on our door I would always invite them in, not to preach to them but to find out where in the USA they were from. Once they knew I was a JW, they wouldn’t try and preach, but we would just chat about life in Oz versus the US and have a coffee and chat.

  The territory I was in at the time was also the site for the biggest Mormon Church and missionary accommodation centre in Melbourne, so got to meet a lot of US missionary dudes. I also got to have a good chat with a few when I was in Japan.

  But as a religion, no never attracted to anything.................................... yet

  Mattieu.
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  8

  Womens Poem v Mens Poem

  by Mattieu in

  1. social
  2. humour

  woman's poem.

  before i lay me down to sleep,.

  i pray for a man, who's not a creep,.

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  Mattieu

  WOMAN'S POEM
  
  Before I lay me down to sleep,
  I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
  One who's handsome, smart and strong.
  One who loves to listen long,
  One who thinks before he speaks,
  One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
  I pray he's gainfully employed,
  When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
  Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
  Massages my back and begs to do more.
  Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
  Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
  I pray that this man will love me to no end,
  And always be my very best friend.
  
  
  MAN'S POEM
  
  I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a Pub and a
  golf course.
  This doesn't rhyme and I don't care.
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  9

  See you in Paradise

  by Mattieu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was looking through a relatives photo album last weekend and saw pictures of their trip to an international convention in asia in the early 1990s.

  on the final day the local bro & sis were all holding placards with phrases such as see you in paradise.. that reminded me of the last international i went to in sydney about 5 years ago, same thing happened on the last day, similar placards with similar phrases.

  there was also a lot of random hugging of bro & sis in international costumes.

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  Mattieu

  I was looking through a relative’s photo album last weekend and saw pictures of their trip to an International convention in Asia in the early 1990’s. On the final day the local bro & sis were all holding placards with phrases such as “see you in paradise”.

  That reminded me of the last International I went to in Sydney about 5 years ago, same thing happened on the last day, similar placards with similar phrases. There was also a lot of random hugging of bro & sis in international costumes. I missed out on getting hugs because I looked like a local...... Next time I will wear my Austin Powers outfit.... No wait; there won’t be a next time, so I will have to wear it to my first Apostatefest whenever someone here gets around to organising it.

  Anyways, when I saw the pictures of these placards, I had mixed feelings. I felt nauseas, angry, frustrated and regret all at once. I haven’t stopped thinking about it all week, so hopefully venting it here will get me to stop thinking about it. Some of the elderly ones holding up those “see you in paradise” signs would have sadly passed away, while others would have came to the same conclusion as me by now. It reminds me of looking at that w/t cover of the elderly ones under the heading of “the 19414 generation that will not pass away”.

  Cheers,

  Mattieu.
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  10

  WT AND KHS COULD LOSE EVERYTHING IN NEXT BANKING CRISIS

  by badboy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  everyone/anyone with something in the rbs bank last year was only a few days away from losing everything in their accounts last october,only state intervention prevented the loss of all that money.. suppose the wt/khs had money in such a bank,state reused to intervene,wt/khs would lose all.

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  Mattieu

  2 Congos in Geelong (Victoria) lost all their savings (donations) when the Pyramid Building Society collapsed back in 1990. Some heads rolled over that one....
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  13

  Have you been disfellowshipped for causing divisions?

  by asilentone in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i would like to hear your story.

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  Mattieu

  I was in one Congo that was heavily divided within the body of elders! Lots stood down including ms's. No one was df'd, though one was publicly marked.