hey awaretoday,
Don't give up! Your husband sounds much like me, going through the motions at the meetings and next thing you know your an elder. But I never fully bought in for some reason, something in the back of my mind knew something wasn't quite right. Keep asking questions in a curious way, and maybe he will wake up. I too am searching and exploring who God really is, though I think the WT has really misguided us on his identity. Though you love the friends, their loyalty is misplaced even though they may not even know it. It is to a man made organization, and it is not to Jesus. Hang in there and slowly make your move away from bondage and into freedom.