You've got to remember that in the WT articles, the Family Happiness/Life book and other WTS publications, the emphasis is both partners working on the issues. This can lead to a finger-pointing situation between marraige mates "Well, I've done X and I'm not doing anymore til s/he does Y!" The outcome of this childish interaction is more resentment and bitterness and less actual improvments.
I don't know you but reading the posts of others who do, it sounds like you've got plenty of your own issues to work on. Irregardless of what the outcome of your current situation is, you will benefit hugely by getting to it and sorting those things out. Do this work and you might be surprised by a positive reaction in your wife. She might see the efforts you are making and follow suit. Sometimes too much talk can be damaging by brining up bad feeling/memories but there is always room for positive actions that make you a better, healthier person.
I know this isn't easy for you. All the best.