Posts by happytobefree

35

Is it Biblical to Shun??

by charlie in

jw
friends

i'm not a witness, but i know one very well and we have had many discussions on various topics.

we would both like to know, however, if it is biblical to shun the disfellowshipped/disassociated?

where in the bible does the society base the practice of shunning or groveling back for a long period of time if a person is sorry and wants to return to the church?

Mommy, I have paid them back for that committee meeting. One brother who was on the committee, son was so in love with me. Well this young man came to me after the baby and said if I needed anything he would be there to help. He even asked me to marry him and to raise my son as his. Well his fathers reply, was why do you want a whore like her. Well any the son was hurt by his father's comment and told me. So the next time I attended the hall his father with all smiles, ask me how was I doing and he was glad to see me - and I politely replied, I'm doing fine and surprised you are concerned with the well-being of a whore. He literally tripped and fell and everyone who heard the reply was gasping for air. And the funny thing is not one person helped him to his feet. And if that is not funny enough, the watchtower study for that meeting was about the elders taking care of the flock. And I raised my hand and gave a wonderful comment, about the brothers learning to have a more compassion and tact, and if they showed more love, we would not be like oh Bro. such is at the door, I wonder what I have done now. Well anyway the comment received a lot of follow up comments (I guess alot of the cong. was feeling bad). One sister call them the KH Police.

As I think about it, my big mouth and honesty, is probably the reason I have never once received a sheparding call or no one has showed any concern as to why I have not been to a meeting in about a 1 or Field service for 3 yrs.

Well that's all I have to say about that.

Happy to be Free (Me)

35

Is it Biblical to Shun??

by charlie in

jw
friends

i'm not a witness, but i know one very well and we have had many discussions on various topics.

we would both like to know, however, if it is biblical to shun the disfellowshipped/disassociated?

where in the bible does the society base the practice of shunning or groveling back for a long period of time if a person is sorry and wants to return to the church?

happytobefree

I experienced the fickled side of the shunning. I became pregnant when I was 18 yrs. old (not married). I hid my pregnancy (from my parents and everyone), because I was so ashamed and so afraid. My father was an elder (a dogmatic, harsh elder), so you know I would feel the wrath from him, because of his HORRIBLE advice to other parents (One he adviced to kick their 16yr. old daughter out of the home, because of her pregnancy). Anyway I hid my pregnancy with the intentions of putting my son up for adoption. I had move out of my parents home, so this made it easy for me to hide the pregnancy. Well anyway, I had my child and had made the arrangements for the adoption. The father (non JW), was very supportive of me, but after my child had been in the foster care for about 1 week, I told him I wanted my baby. Anyway my family found out and believe it or not my mother was overwhelmingly supportive and had to endure servere verbal and mental abuse from my father. It was so bad that she even move in with me for a couple of weeks. Well at the time they would disassociated a unbaptized publisher, so I went before the judicial committee and they drilled me with the horrible questions (How many times did you have sex, where did you have sex; What type of sex did you partake in? Did you enjoy the sex;, etc.) Well about the 10th question I snapped, I call them all perverted bastards and I told them to do whatever they had to do, because I had no intentions of ever stepping foot in another KH for the rest of my life (I wish I had stuck to this). Well you know what that meant that I would be disassociated. So the next meeting they read my name off. And I so happen to run into 2 sister in a grocery store, after that. The one did have something to say (she was my aunt), how could you disgrace my brother and our family the way you did. And the other rolled her eyes and walked away. I cannot describe how horrible this made me feel.

Anyway I'm going to try to get back to my point, and end this long horrid story. Some new light came out exactly 2 mos. after my disassociation (same as disfellowshipping). That people who have never been baptized cannot be disfellowshipped or disassociated. Well my mother had been very vocal about this not being scriptual in the first place, and demanded that they apologize to me (she thought that would help me return). Well the apology never came. But the 2 sisters I mentioned earlier. I went to the KH and the first to approach me was the rolled eye sister, and her statement was I so glad to see you with a hug, let me see that baby - followed by I must get you a gift. Oh and next was my aunt (bitch), I'm glad to see you have returned to Jehovah and I love you.

Finally my point, I was the same fornicator as I was 2 mos. ago. And at this point I was living with my child's father. So that goes to show you how much the really listen to the boys in Brooklyn. And it is so sad.

Thanks for being patient with this long post. I know it has been therapeutic to me.

Happy to Be Free (Me)

Edited by - happytobefree on 18 January 2001 10:9:54

22

Visiting a KH...

by ianao in

jw
friends

a 'friend' of mine keeps telling me that everything i am reading here on this board is a packload of lies from people who have no respect for god.. he also tells me that if i would just go to the kh for once, that i would see for myself that jws are not the bad people that they are portrayed to be.. while i have my own convictions about this subject, i was curious to know what others' opinions would be on the fruitfullness of taking up this man's offer and going to the kh to see for myself.

so, what do you think?

what should i watch out for?

happytobefree

Moody,

My mother and father has been in this type of relationship for 35 years. I think my dad kind of Love her, but his love is prerequisite of her service to the WTBTS. He has promised her new cars, furniture, if she goes to the meetings. He will take her to a fancy restaurant, if she goes out in field service. He even marks up her Watchtower, so she can answer. Oh and when she does comment, you should hear him - throwing the praises on her. It's funny as I think about it, but is so pathetic.

The same for situation for my siblings and I. It's 5 of us - 1 is an active JW; I'm inactive; one bro. never baptized and very opposed; 1 is disfellowshipped and 1 is a pentecostal minister. When we all go home to visit, he is so absorbed in us all attending. He will take us all to dinner. Oh and by the way - we can't just attend, we must LOOK WONDERFUL, so if that mean he will pay for us to go to the hairdress, or buy the kids new suits (they must wear suits).

Well I no I'm getting away from my point. Which is .... what I take from his behavior is that he does not give a RATS A** as to how we really feel. He is just so SELFISH AS to how he feels and CARES MORE for the SO-CALL FRIENDS than his family.

So I always question - DOES HE LOVE US? And now I know I have come to the conclusion - HE DOES NOT EVEN HAVE A CLUE WHAT LOVE IS.

Happy to be Free (Me)

4

Anyone live in the DC AREA?

by happytobefree in

i'm kind of new to this board and was wondering if any of you meeting offline.

i would love to meet some inactive, disfellowshipped, disassociated, or anyone who have not been associated or associated with jw.

if there is anyone who live in the washington dc area and would like to meet offline, let me know.

happytobefree

Well maybe we can all plan a little weekend retreat, we are all in the Mid Atlantic/ Eastern Region. But if any are coming my way, please look me up and I would through together a couple of vittles.

And if you guys are interested in a little retreat. I LOVE the Outer Banks area.

Let me know.

58

Living A Lie

by MoodyBlue in

jw
friends

i am sick of living a lie, yet afraid to change it.

married to a man who refuses to listen, who would rather plug his ears and shout "nooooooo" is taking it's tole.

i am afraid to speak my mind about my doubt, my thoughts, and what i'm learning, as i'm not ready to cross that point of no return.

happytobefree

You are further along that you think. You are in my prayers.

Happy to be Free (MeP

58

Living A Lie

by MoodyBlue in

jw
friends

i am sick of living a lie, yet afraid to change it.

married to a man who refuses to listen, who would rather plug his ears and shout "nooooooo" is taking it's tole.

i am afraid to speak my mind about my doubt, my thoughts, and what i'm learning, as i'm not ready to cross that point of no return.

happytobefree

Blue,

Don't think you cannot afford therapy. Check with you local health department they have resource to free mental therapy. And continue to talk to your mother (is she nonJW), tell her that you really need her help, I now realize some people told me the same thing (change it our shutup - my worldly husband - and it was my turning point - because it's true. You are staying in your current condition (situation) because you are getting some payoff, so figure out the payoff and see if it's worth you feeling so desparate. If you email me and tell me what area you live in, I may be able to find you some professional help. I now volunteer at crisis centers and no that there is help. But by all means, if this is you only outlet(internet) for now, please use it.

58

Living A Lie

by MoodyBlue in

jw
friends

i am sick of living a lie, yet afraid to change it.

married to a man who refuses to listen, who would rather plug his ears and shout "nooooooo" is taking it's tole.

i am afraid to speak my mind about my doubt, my thoughts, and what i'm learning, as i'm not ready to cross that point of no return.

happytobefree

Moody Blue,

Please find someone you can talk to about your feelings. And not your husband or the brothers, they will further confuse you. Believe me I have been in your shoes (I have attempted to commit suicide 3 times in my life) and I'm glad to say the future is better. You only see a doom and gloom future, because of the people you have associated your life with. They see a doom in this present and only happiness in some paradise that is probably concocted by the WTBTS. Please seek out some professional counseling and not NOW but RIGHT NOW.

PLEASE PLEASE talk to someone who is trained to help.

And by the way, from the way you have posted, you sound like a brilliant young lady, and I have not gotten the impression that you are the type to be considered a F*** up. Please do not beat up on yourself for some decisions you have made. They were have you thinking at the TIME and where you needed to be. STOP worrying you will find your way and you will be all the better to help others. And as the above person posted stop worrying about you purpose, because it's obviously clear you were put here to help others (because your post have helped me and just think about those who feel like you and have not had the nerve to express themselves as you have).

Edited by - happytobefree on 16 January 2001 15:42:10

4

Anyone live in the DC AREA?

by happytobefree in

i'm kind of new to this board and was wondering if any of you meeting offline.

i would love to meet some inactive, disfellowshipped, disassociated, or anyone who have not been associated or associated with jw.

if there is anyone who live in the washington dc area and would like to meet offline, let me know.

happytobefree

I'm kind of new to this board and was wondering if any of you meeting offline. I would love to meet some inactive, disfellowshipped, disassociated, or anyone who have not been associated or associated with JW. If there is anyone who live in the Washington DC area and would like to meet offline, let me know. And another thought How will I know if you are really who u say you are, so please if you are a person who is just looking to keep your so-call org. clean, please don't respond.

Happy to be Free (Me)

Edited by - happytobefree on 16 January 2001 14:28:27

58

Living A Lie

by MoodyBlue in

jw
friends

i am sick of living a lie, yet afraid to change it.

married to a man who refuses to listen, who would rather plug his ears and shout "nooooooo" is taking it's tole.

i am afraid to speak my mind about my doubt, my thoughts, and what i'm learning, as i'm not ready to cross that point of no return.

happytobefree

Dear Moody Blue,

You are so blessed that you are still young, I wish I was experiencing what you are at age 22, instead of 32. But now I realize I must have needed those extra 10 years of confusion for some reason (but don't know why).

I know I have posted to you before similar comments, but I must reiterate, PLEASE PLEASE continue with your growth towards finding YOUR TRUTHS and if others follow great, but it they don't THAT'S GREAT ALSO.

And I kind of take it from your post that your family are not JW, if this is the case, you have it much easier than you think (because at least you will not loose them).

Happy to be Free (Me)

Edited by - happytobefree on 16 January 2001 14:12:53

28

Things said from the platform

by MoodyBlue in

jw
friends

i recalled something said a while back by an elder during a service meeting a while back.

i beleive it was a local needs part on getting out in service.

basically what he said was this:.

happytobefree

ZaZu,

Another gem from the platform in relations to Charity. Most of the monies do not go for their intended purpose. What a joke - because I'm sure most of the money collected from the voluntary donation, does not make it to their intended purpose (I for one have spend a few bucks at McDonalds, oh the reproach I have brought upon Jehovah).

Well that's just a thought.

Happy to be Free (Me)