You're right. My spouse doesn't know, but my spouse keeps a lot of things from me that I find out about and just don't bring up. Not to the extent that I have but any lying is the same to me.
helricha
JoinedPosts by helricha
-
16
straightened out but not going to be a liar
by helricha ini've straightened myself out concerning what i'm going to do about my life.
i am going to be reinstated (hopefully), just to get in and then fade away.
my problem is that i don't want to lie if i'm asked a direct question.
-
-
-
16
straightened out but not going to be a liar
by helricha ini've straightened myself out concerning what i'm going to do about my life.
i am going to be reinstated (hopefully), just to get in and then fade away.
my problem is that i don't want to lie if i'm asked a direct question.
-
-
helricha
I've straightened myself out concerning what I'm going to do about my life. I am going to be reinstated (hopefully), just to get in and then fade away.
My problem is that I don't want to lie if I'm asked a direct question. Will the elders ask me if I've done anything wrong since I was disfellowshipped? If they do ask questions, will they ask me if I've told my spouse that I committed adultery, which happened since I've been out?
(My spouse never asked me directly if I've done that)
I know everyone has their opinion about what I've done but I just am asking if anyone has actually facts.
-
63
any former elders have an answer for me?
by helricha inso i was df'd for living with/having sex with my boyfriend for 3 years and then not ending the relationship and moving out within the week between the first meeting of confession and the second meeting where they tell me what their decision was.
i did move out 3 months later with the intent of being reinstated over a period of time.
well i couldn't cut off the relationship with my bf even though i did move out, so i married him after a year and then 2 weeks after that i slept with someone else.
-
-
helricha
I have this final post before I end this nonsense. First of all, if everyone will notice what the title of the topic is. I agree that everyone has their own opinion and I was looking for help with this situation. For all of those who offered their help, I thank you. It was truly helpful and informative.
Now for the rest...I honestly could care less what you THINK about my actions nor about what you would do if you were in my husband's position. Like I said above, each person is entitled to their own opinion and if you feel like giving it then what is your motive? To help or was it really just to say something because like one of you said "I couldn't keep my mouth shut about it any longer". You had the feeling like you needed to say something. Well good for you. In MY OPINION, you have no self control, esp. if you do that on a regular basis. Not that I am saying that I am better than you because I'm not but it's just my opinion.
I do have an interesting opinion as well, which is meant no disrespect. If there are ones on here that are disgusted by the Watchtower society then why do you involve so much of your life in talking about it. What is the point? Just move on with your life and let it go. Certainly there are more things out there to involve your life with. LOL. REALLY.
I could say that I was offended by some of the posts but I wasn't. I was more likely to realize that people in the "world" and including ones who use to love Jehovah can be some of the most hateful people. Regardless of the experiences that each person has had with the truth, the fact remains that we are all imperfect humans and are incapable of being perfect. In MY OPINION, some of you have forgotten that or have failed to acknowledge it purposely.
I took into consideration many of the points that some of the posts brought out concerning the truth. I researched them and looked into them and here is my conclusion: While some things can make you think differently concerning the truth; the fact remains that if you look at the majority of the information and teachings provided by the organization - It is remarkable how it much sense it makes. There may be the few things that don't quite make it for people but in MY OPINION, it is not enough to completely write off this being God's organization. Even if you research the items outside of the society's information, it is quite evident that there is no other religion that makes sense.
I respect each person's right to choose what is best for themselves so I speak no hurtful things about your decisions. I am college educated with a Bachelor's degree and have taken classes on American and World Religion to fulfill my cultural diversity courses. I did not learn about Jehovah or know who he was until I was 19. It took me studying for 5 yrs before I accepted it as the truth. I have struggled living up to his standards and I wonder sometimes how others can do it so easily. I have been disfellowshipped twice (including this time) and I have went through a wide range of emotions from it. From unfairness to hatred to bordering on depression and through it all, I have never written off the truth. I haven't agreed on everything that has happened in the congregation as far as personal matters with families or individuals and certainly I have felt anger about some things. But again, I am human. I have consistenly throughout time since 1997 been aware that this is Jehovah's organization and I will continue to stand by it. I will not let anything that imperfect humans in the truth say, do, or try to do to interfere with that.
I have my special assembly day in the morning and I am certainly looking forward to it. To take the words from many of the brothers in the truth, "Even if there was no hope for the future and no everlasting life in sight, this is the best way to live". I hope that I can make it to the point of reinstatement and make Jehovah's heart glad.
For those of you who were well meaning and helpful, I cannot say enough how much I appreciate your concern and your words that did help. I do respect your decision on how you wish to live your life and wish you well. I can only ask the same from you.
The rest of you, I could really care less. It makes me wonder how you can live your lives without being disgusted each time you look in the mirror. Remember the movie, Shallow Hal? The nurse in the burn unit that in real life was beautiful but when Hal saw her under his trance, she was old and nasty and quite disgusting. Well I can imagine that if I was in Hal's position, that's how you would look. You think of infidelity as a very awful thing but in MY OPINION, how you've acted in turning your back on Jehovah is the most awful thing you can do. Sleep well.
-
63
any former elders have an answer for me?
by helricha inso i was df'd for living with/having sex with my boyfriend for 3 years and then not ending the relationship and moving out within the week between the first meeting of confession and the second meeting where they tell me what their decision was.
i did move out 3 months later with the intent of being reinstated over a period of time.
well i couldn't cut off the relationship with my bf even though i did move out, so i married him after a year and then 2 weeks after that i slept with someone else.
-
-
helricha
I admit that I make REALLY bad decisions. Perhaps marrying my husband was a bad decision but it's a decision that I have to live with for now. My life has been full of bad decisions. I can only go from here and try to make better decisions.
Thanks for responding.
-
63
any former elders have an answer for me?
by helricha inso i was df'd for living with/having sex with my boyfriend for 3 years and then not ending the relationship and moving out within the week between the first meeting of confession and the second meeting where they tell me what their decision was.
i did move out 3 months later with the intent of being reinstated over a period of time.
well i couldn't cut off the relationship with my bf even though i did move out, so i married him after a year and then 2 weeks after that i slept with someone else.
-
-
helricha
Thanks everyone for their responses. It's helpful to see what different people say, esp. when my reasoning and thinking ability is really screwed up right now. I actually reasoned that it wasn't adultery because I hadn't filed the marriage papers with the county clerk and so I wasn't legally married when I committed the act. That was my way of not being worried about it.
The reason that I started freakin out about it all is that last Sunday there was a WT article about your conscience. It had a statement that some have finally confessed their adultery to their mate because their conscience was bothering them. Then I went and started researching things in the WT library at the hall and found all of this info on how you need to confess the sin to the person that you sinned against.
Anyway, I can't say that I ever wanted to tell him about it before that point. It won't do any good if I do tell him. A lot of people may say that he has the right to know and I always thought that I would want to know but really I wouldn't. Esp. if he's not doing it anymore.
So thanks for listening to me and helping me out with this issue.
-
63
any former elders have an answer for me?
by helricha inso i was df'd for living with/having sex with my boyfriend for 3 years and then not ending the relationship and moving out within the week between the first meeting of confession and the second meeting where they tell me what their decision was.
i did move out 3 months later with the intent of being reinstated over a period of time.
well i couldn't cut off the relationship with my bf even though i did move out, so i married him after a year and then 2 weeks after that i slept with someone else.
-
-
helricha
I definitely can say that I haven't arranged to have someone murdered to cover up my mistakes. I have the mind that I don't know if the mistakes are because I'm wicked or because I'm weak. Maybe not horrible but not up to par.
-
63
any former elders have an answer for me?
by helricha inso i was df'd for living with/having sex with my boyfriend for 3 years and then not ending the relationship and moving out within the week between the first meeting of confession and the second meeting where they tell me what their decision was.
i did move out 3 months later with the intent of being reinstated over a period of time.
well i couldn't cut off the relationship with my bf even though i did move out, so i married him after a year and then 2 weeks after that i slept with someone else.
-
-
helricha
Penny,
Thanks I really needed what you said because I feel like I'm breaking out of my skin. I feel like if I don't do something about it right now that I'm going to explode. I just needed someone to tell me to chill.
-
63
any former elders have an answer for me?
by helricha inso i was df'd for living with/having sex with my boyfriend for 3 years and then not ending the relationship and moving out within the week between the first meeting of confession and the second meeting where they tell me what their decision was.
i did move out 3 months later with the intent of being reinstated over a period of time.
well i couldn't cut off the relationship with my bf even though i did move out, so i married him after a year and then 2 weeks after that i slept with someone else.
-
-
helricha
Vinny - wow. I read your ENTIRE letter. Obviously it took a while. That was crazy long. You have some very interesting things that I am going to look into myself.
cognizant dissident - I guess I didn't think of this as an apostate site. I just thought of it as people who have been in or known of situations that I'm going through and have been in. It's not like I can ask somebody at the hall. As far as the other stuff, I did cheat on him while we were together. (I know I'm a horrible person) The main reason that I married him was because I wanted to get reinstated eventually. (I know that makes me a horrible person too) I was on the fence about whether or not I should marry him. So I finally decided to because we had been together for so long and I knew that I wouldn't feel good if I was without him. (I've known him for 12 years and have been in love with him for that long. I wasn't raised in the truth).
You're probably right, I don't know what I want. I was having this problem that I didn't know if I wanted to be with him so I did go see a counselor. I don't know if she was considered "good" or not but she was NO HELP at all. She basically just told me all the things I already knew. It was seriously a waste of my time.
My whole thing is not about what I say to the elders but about my relationship with Jehovah. If my conscience will allow me to NOT tell them something and to still maintain a good relationship with Jehovah then that's what I DO WANT. If it won't and I have to tell them then that's what I have to do. I just want enough opinions from people who aren't "wordly" in the sense that they have no freakin idea what I'm talking about. And like I said, it's not like i can ask anyone at the hall.
Thanks for all the responses.
-
63
any former elders have an answer for me?
by helricha inso i was df'd for living with/having sex with my boyfriend for 3 years and then not ending the relationship and moving out within the week between the first meeting of confession and the second meeting where they tell me what their decision was.
i did move out 3 months later with the intent of being reinstated over a period of time.
well i couldn't cut off the relationship with my bf even though i did move out, so i married him after a year and then 2 weeks after that i slept with someone else.
-
-
helricha
Oh and I have no idea why my husband doesn't like it that I go to the hall. Maybe his mom said negative things about it. Other than that, there is nothing about the hall that affects him. I always have dinner ready for him even if I'm not there. So I'm unsure.
-
63
any former elders have an answer for me?
by helricha inso i was df'd for living with/having sex with my boyfriend for 3 years and then not ending the relationship and moving out within the week between the first meeting of confession and the second meeting where they tell me what their decision was.
i did move out 3 months later with the intent of being reinstated over a period of time.
well i couldn't cut off the relationship with my bf even though i did move out, so i married him after a year and then 2 weeks after that i slept with someone else.
-
-
helricha
Ok so I do love my husband but I just made a mistake the one time and don't have any intention of doing it again. So when I tried to tell him about it 2 days ago I told him all of that and that I would do anything to make it work and he was just like "It's over and you have to leave now".
I do want it to work and I will do what it takes but then I think that it may be easier to let it go, even though it will be difficult. So what do I really want? I don't know. In the big scheme of things, I want to have a good relationship with Jehovah. I've been trying to do that for 8 years without success. I don't see the point of trying to have a relationship with a man who is going to be unforgiving if I can't even have a relationship with Jehovah, who is all forgiving. Also, I hate change so moving out will be hard.