straightened out but not going to be a liar

helricha

I've straightened myself out concerning what I'm going to do about my life. I am going to be reinstated (hopefully), just to get in and then fade away.

My problem is that I don't want to lie if I'm asked a direct question. Will the elders ask me if I've done anything wrong since I was disfellowshipped? If they do ask questions, will they ask me if I've told my spouse that I committed adultery, which happened since I've been out?

(My spouse never asked me directly if I've done that)

I know everyone has their opinion about what I've done but I just am asking if anyone has actually facts.

dawg

Screw them and lie... they are men after all... you're not talking to god, so lie like hell.

Junction-Guy

Why should you worry about lying to the Elders, especially if you cheated on your wife. Your wife needs to know the truth, not them.

Chalam

Hi,
"I've straightened myself out concerning what I'm going to do about my life. I am going to be reinstated (hopefully), just to get in and then fade away."

I just wondered why you want to do that? Is it so you can be in contact with you family?

Regards,
Stephen

changeling

Do what you need to do to make life easy for yourself and to preserve your family.

My best to you,

changeling

Wait, your husband doesn't know? You need to figure out what you want to do about that one, but the elders don't deserve to know anything.

changeling

helricha

You're right. My spouse doesn't know, but my spouse keeps a lot of things from me that I find out about and just don't bring up. Not to the extent that I have but any lying is the same to me.

tijkmo

i'm pretty certain they won't ask...they will assume you are now married and looking to 'set matters straight'... rejoice rejoice.

unless they know differently they will not assume that as a newly married woman you had sex with someone else.

they might ask if there is anything you have done that you wish to admit and repent of but if you tell them they are unlikely to reinstate you.

so don't tell them.

just convince them that you know you were wrong to date, live with, and subsequently marry your husband and that you hope that jah has forgiven you

momzcrazy

Sorry, I have to address this. If your marriage is important, you need to address the fact that you both keep secrets from each other. I can understand not saying right off that I bought a new dress, or that he lost money playing poker. But infidelity MUST be brought out in the open. There are underlying reasons why it happened, that aren't all your fault. There are also things like STD's, pregnancies, or if it will happen again. You know, those annoying little things.

Take care of your own household, then worry about JWland. Your mate and family should be your priority.

momz

jwfacts

A very philosophical question. What is a lie? Is it a lie when said to a dishonest cult? The elders have no right to such answers, so why do you feel you need to tell them the truth.

Have you done anything worthy of being disfellowshipped? - No you haven't. The word disfellowship does not even appear in the Bible, the treatment you would receive is not what the Bible prescribes. (see http://www.jwfacts.com/index_files/disfellowship.htm) Since their question is based on lies do not volunteer the truth. Tell them no.

straightened out but not going to be a liar

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