It is incredibly mean and cowardly to undermine a person's sanity and self worth. Those people are beyond contempt.
LITS, you are geographically isolated from any real friends, and trying to fight with a bunch of piranhas. Pretty small and worthless people, but lots of them.
I think you have a lot more trauma to work through than most of us. Like combining the bad experiences of 20 of us. It will take some work and counseling to disconnect from these toxic people but I am sure you will, and soon.
It was bad enough that you were raised as a child with constant abuse both physical and emotional from your parents and jws.
Then to have the undermining of your self confidence continued by your passive-aggressive husband - he not only encouraged other jws to discount you as a person, but has gaslighted you, telling you your thinking is skewed, your memory is faulty. He either "doesn't remember" some godawful shit he did, or it was a long time ago, or it was no big deal.
Well it was all a really big deal. You recently interviewed several counselors and found a good one. It takes some courage to dive into this shit. It all comes back to the surface to be dealt with. Not loads of fun.
Knowing you for 9 years now, I have no doubt that a lot of people would have been driven nuts early on by what you went through. It is something that you have kept your kindness, honesty and sense of humor intact.
Keep on keepin' on! Talk soon. Mrs. Flipper