FREEMINDFADE- I know how you feel as I'm somewhat in a similar position- but not exactly. My wife is a non-JW , which makes it much easier than you being married to a JW - hearing this drivel daily.
However- that being said - what helps me is to NOT look at all of my JW family the same way. Let me explain. For the " older " generation Jw's in my family ( my parents , older siblings ) I pretty much know they are never going to change- they are all in their late 60's and beyond - but for my two JW daughters still in their late 20's who are still going through changes in life ahead of them ( they just are too young to realize they will go through changes of many kinds ) - I try to stay non-DFed so that I can eventually be able to assist them to see TTATT. If I were to DA or get DFed - they are indoctrinated enough to where they would NOT feel they could listen to me as they are told to REALLY shun us then. So I'd be cutting off my nose to spite my face ( if you get my drift ) .
With your situation ( what I know of it anyway ) by staying non-DFed you still have your wife's ear as she OFFICIALLY is told she doesn't have to shun your advice. She still may change someday.Once you DA or get DFed- all bets are off- no matter WHAT she may tell you. If she's a pioneer- believe me- she's still mind controlled to the nth degree in what he WT Society tells her to do- so you'd be making it tougher to live with her- in my opinion if you DAed or got DFed. And you keep her hearing ear in order to help her see TTATT if and when she decides to do so.
One option you might consider in order to make it easier on yourself if you plan on staying with current JW wife is to TOTALLY stop attending meetings. It would at least be a couple of days a week where you won't have that mind control psycho babble WT bullshit creeping into your mind - so you'll be able to clear YOUR head up more. Just an opinion my friend. Anyway- I know you'll do what you feel is best in your situation- just know that we are here for you to vent, O.K. ? Take care buddy, Peace out, Unca Flip.