I have five boxers: Gryffindore, Valkyrie, Genovieve, Shadowgate, and Kirby the amazing living vaccuum cleaner.
Two cats: Moaning Myrtle and Dusty.
And one very cross hedgehog, Smudge.
I love animals and have had snakes, birds, a 5 1/2 foot Iguana, a slew of fish, and a gorgeous skunk.
I currently breed boxers and have two litters coming by the end of the year.
i've been on here nearly 5-6 years (as you can see by my profile) but hardly ever post.
for years i was satisfied with reading your stories and commenting occasionally, all the while telling myself that i was still a dub and would never change.
at the beginning, i was really just curious and also wandering if people out there grew up like i did (in an orwellian hell), and had experienced what i had experienced.
WC,
I have been out of the organization for 8 years, so when I planned my marriage three years ago I found myself facing one new decision after another that seemed to conflict with my upbringing. I am estranged from my JW mother (and every girl wants her mom there when she marries). I had left JWs, but I hadn't really embraced any other formal spirituality. I didn't want a non-spiritual ceremony with no soul and no feeling of being sacred in the bigger picture of life.
A friend suggested that I contact the Unitarian Universalists. I am so very glad that I did! Under one roof there are Christians of every type, Buddhists, Pagans, Native Americans, you name it! The idea behind their meetings is simply coming together to worship in whatever form that means to you. No belief or teaching is touted as the right way, and you would be very surprised to note how many exJWs there are in attendance. Many of the meetings involve rituals designed by the congregation to reflect all religions. Gays, Lesbians, Transgendered, are welcome as well as Straight (of course).
I think one of the aspects I appreciate most is the community programs. They often have an organization-wide potluck dinner one evening a week. There are feminine groups, male groups, art classes, music classes... Ours has a school from K-6th grade, and a choir and band for older students. One evening a week we can gather and there is a drum circle where we all grab a drum and sit around adding different beats until we're all exhausted. One person will begin with their beat, and then others join in until the walls shake. It's more emotional than I originally realized, your heart will actually feel as if it's joining in.
I don't go all the time, but I always feel welcome when I do go, and I NEVER feel that I've been remiss when I have been away.
It's worth looking into. When I told the Pastor that I was a JW in the past, she took me under her wing and took special care to make me feel welcome. She helped Jason and I design a wedding that fit US, and officiated in a very sweet, spiritual way that helped us to connect.
I hope My experience with them helps.
Kathy
did you kill anyone?
rape anyone?...
" gary said "no, i was caught cheating on my wife with"... i looked at the jw and said, "look man, we all fall short of the glory of god, right?"..
I don't agree with unfaithfulness of any kind. Would I celebrate? no. Would I associate? yes, but I'd encourage them to be more truthful in their dealings. My husband and I have a relationship that is open within limits we set forth at the time we committed ourselves to each other. I love him tenderly, but I don't expect him to focus exclusively on me the rest of our lives. He does not expect that of me either. We have been together seven years, and love each other more every day.
You don't have to be monogamous if you find someone who agrees and understands. In that type of arrangement, no one is cheating, and no one gets hurt.
"ex-christians are angry because they are grieving... i voluntarily spent 10 years of my life pursuing a godly life.
my fantasy was that i was spending my time well and becoming a better person by following god.
my grief over wasting 10 years of my life, is grief over giving up the fantasy.".
~hugs~
I'm feeling it too. Anger scares me. I don't want to feel out of control, but I do... Since Friday night I cannot stay away from these boards and I am flabbergasted that they've been here all along and I didn't think to look for them... I've been out 8 years... was I still in denial somehow?
I wish you well in your grieving process. I am not as knowledgeable as many here, but my heart is with you.
dear members,.
i am so glad to have found you!
i left the congregation about eight years ago after a very traumatic experience (several, actually).
Wow,
So many to respond to:
1.) No, I did not report it to the police. I didn't think I was supposed to.I didn't tell the elders right away because I didn't "scream" (though I fought hard and desperately tried to convince him not to continue) so I thought the Elders would punish me. I already felt separated from my congregation because in the last month there had been five disfellowshippings and several other things happened as a result of my reporting something to the Circuit Overseer. My rapist said "Don't bother to tell anyone, they won't believe you anyway"
2.) My husband and I are no longer together. We care for each other, and we parent our son as a team, but the simply don't feel we are happiest together. Thankfully, I found my soul-mate seven years ago. We married three years ago and we are more in love every day! Quite often he will hear a snippet of my experience as a Witness and will go off about the organization. I will immediately begin defending the publishers - why I wonder?
When I found the silentlambs website Friday night, I read for six hours without stopping... crawled into bed with Jason and I think every CELL in my body cried. I've never felt so hurt and scared in all my life. I'd convinced myself that this didn't happen to anyone else... that my case was unique. Imagine my relief and my dismay that I'm not alone...
dear members,.
i am so glad to have found you!
i left the congregation about eight years ago after a very traumatic experience (several, actually).
Frannie,
I totally understand that it's a phase that many go through... If you read the tone of my own posts, there is bitterness, and hurt, and anger... I just want to be very careful not to allow this to swallow me up and not let go. I don't want to get trapped in the negativity. That (to me) would be trading one "enslavement" for another.
Believe me, I am not judging ANYONE for their feelings. I simply want to take responsibility for MINE and make conscious decisions rather than cave in to knee-jerk responses I'm having right now.
dear members,.
i am so glad to have found you!
i left the congregation about eight years ago after a very traumatic experience (several, actually).
Thats whats got me so weirded out... I thought I HAD healed. Eight years ago I was raped by a Ministerial Servant who was my husband's best friend... We (husband and I) were devastated. This was after I had sincerely gone to the elders to report a congregationwide scandal and been marked for it.
I've been in counselling, and resolved my feelings about the rape, but apparently the feelings about my spirituality have not been dealt with. I was numb last night to hear that the Witnesses cling to the 607 BC date so their chronology remains intact, but that reputable scholars all say the date is wrong. I've always clung to the things I researched as a Witness as proof that the Witnesses had "light" from God, but that they were imperfect humans... I'm faced with the prospect of re-evaluating EVERYTHING, and I don't quite know where to turn. This goes beyond imperfection. It looks more and more like the Governing Body is misleading 6 million people purposely.
I'm tired already...
dear members,.
i am so glad to have found you!
i left the congregation about eight years ago after a very traumatic experience (several, actually).
Dear Members,
I am so glad to have found you! I left the Congregation about eight years ago after a very traumatic experience (several, actually). I didn't have a choice about leaving the organization, I literally got ill every time I would begin getting dressed for a meeting, and after trying to force myself to go one Sunday I broke out in hives all over my body. I seriously get sick even now when I think about the idea of walking into a Kingdom Hall.
I have always maintained that the Witnesses are sincere people who are being misled in matters of doctrine. I've felt that something was wrong at the top and that the "everyday, regular publisher" was unaware of the situation. But then again, the people in Germany were sincere and unaware of the Nazi movement too, right? Recently I have gotten in touch with a deep pain in my heart... The Governing Body could not do these things on their own without the help of many many many in each congregation to carry out their will. My sense of betrayal is fresh and new and I'm not sure exactly how to process this.
I read some of your posts, and you seem bitter. I don't want to be bitter... I want to grieve this and then go on in a positive light again. Some seem to despise all JW's and I understand that feeling lately, but how can I find forgiveness again, and return to a peaceful frame of mind? To invest negative energy towards these people in an ongoing way is to continue to give them power in my life, and I want to end their power.
Not sure if I'm making any sense. I guess what I'm asking is, how do I heal? How do I maybe locate people in my area who also need to heal? And how do I continue to learn where I've been "misled" without feeling that I've been made a fool of?
Kathy
